In the Sept. 16 issue of the Gay & Lesbian Times, a letter written by Patrick Cullen to the editor was published calling for the removal of Michael Zimmerman, board president of the Gay Men’s Spiritual Retreat (GMSR), an organization seeking to enhance the spiritual life of gay men founded on 12-step principles, due to his participation in a pornographic barebacking video. In the letter, Cullen, former chair of the 2005 retreat, relates his disappointment and confusion over the GMSR’s decision to allow Zimmerman to continue leading the organization despite his participation in what Cullen considers behavior contradictory to the mission of the GMSR. Further, Cullen addresses the “precarious position” Zimmerman’s behavior has placed on other local organizations that receive funding raised by the GMSR.

According to Cullen’s letter, there is a distinction between what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their home and that of Zimmerman’s behavior, which is widely available to the public.

Following the publication of the letter, several other letters have been sent to various organizations in the community such as (and this list is not all-inclusive) Stepping Stone; The Live and Let Live Alano Club (LLLAC); the founder of the GMSR, Dave Smith and the Episcopal Dioceses of Los Angeles, which owns the grounds used for the retreat. These letters were authored by Cullen, his partner Kevin Lynch, and other unnamed sources.

In a recent phone conversation with the Gay & Lesbian Times, Cullen claims responsibility for four letters total, all of which he said are similar in nature to that published in the Gay & Lesbian Times. That said, many members of GMSR-friendly organizations claim to have undergone continuous harassment, and describe Cullen’s behavior as fanatical, and as a result, have asked the Gay & Lesbian Times to address this issue of harassment caused by the “Cullen camp”.

After reviewing several of the letters, beyond those in which Cullen has accepted responsibility, the Gay & Lesbian Times agrees these letters are malicious – especially Lynch’s. Not only are they in bad taste, most appalling is the way in which they disclose personal information about those involved, which violates the founding tenants of 12-step recovery programs, namely confidentiality and anonymity. As if in a downward spiral, this disagreement has sadly become very, very ugly.

Underneath the he-said, she-said and outright mudslinging, there still remains a very important question left unanswered: What is Zimmerman’s responsibility to the community and to the GMSR? As a leader, is starring in bareback porn appropriate behavior, and more importantly, to what esteem should we hold our community leaders – is there a higher standard?

It is difficult to digest that the leader of a gay men’s spiritual organization would participate publicly in a behavior (barebacking) this community has worked tirelessly to educate against. All people should have the right to do whatever they choose within the boundaries of the law. However, in a position of leadership, actions no longer reflect solely on the individual but on the entire organization. It has been and remains the opinion of this paper that leaders need to recognize their ability to shape public opinion and therefore must be held accountable for their actions.

Do Zimmerman’s actions set the appropriate example for those who participate in the retreat and other organizations that rub elbows with the GMSR? Zimmerman is a role model to those in recovery seeking and/or maintaining sobriety. How can he act as an example in one facet of his life – yet not influence those in another? Issues of recovery and sexual behavior are indeed related. Those in recovery often grapple not only with substance abuse, but sex addiction and HIV. From our understanding, the GMSR looks at a person in their entirety and uses spirituality to empower people to improve their lives overall.

Cullen did have the right to raise this issue before the board as he did, and the board has determined that Zimmerman will remain. It is time to for Cullen and his cronies to pull back. This is a voluntary organization – people have the right to choose if they want to be part of the GMSR and if not, they may leave.

Why has this become a personal vendetta, where those involved will stoop to unbelievable lows? Damaging these organizations that help so many people in order to satisfy some self-righteous need is inexcusable. In the process of demonizing one individual for his mistakes, you fail to see your own mistakes in the process.