As Canada moves forward with its astounding decision to include same-sex couples in federal marriage laws, I’m all atwitter over what effect this will have on Canada’s neighbor to the south. Stop straining. I’m talking about the U.S.

My first concern is the state of Vermont. A few years ago, in a bold, contentious move, the state made history by legalizing civil unions for gay couples. It wasn’t marriage, but what Vermont offered was light years ahead of the other 49 states, so gays from around the country trooped to the Green Mountain State to be civilly united — or uncivilly, depending on how much the in-laws had to drink.

But at this very moment it’s possible for Americans to travel to the province of Ontario and get legally, fully hitched. Where does that leave brave little Vermont? Out in the northern New England cold, I fear.

How many people will settle for a civil union now that they can leapfrog that and get the real deal? What will happen to the Vermont innkeepers and restaurant-owners and others who benefited economically from the civil unions law? Perhaps the best they can hope for is luring Canada-bound cars off I-89 with the promise of great food and cut-rate syrup.

Canada is, after all, right above Vermont, while below it is Massachusetts. It’s possible that Massachusetts could become the first state to legalize gay marriage, depending on what its high court decides this summer. If that happens, Vermont will be squeezed by its neighbors into an irrelevancy sandwich.

As a very general rule, Vermonters aren’t much into being the center of attention, so many won’t bemoan the fact that they’re now out of the national spotlight. On the other hand, attention can be addictive. I wouldn’t be surprised if a bunch of Vermonters did something drastic to stay in the limelight. Like declare war on New Hampshire.

Then there’s the question of Vermont’s former governor and current presidential candidate, Howard Dean. As the man who signed civil unions into law, he’s been vigorously courting the gay vote. Have recent Canadian developments pricked his balloon?

Another pertinent question is how Americans who go to Canada and do the deed will be legally viewed upon their return. This greatly concerns the organizations that have been fighting for gay marriage in this country. In a joint statement, four GLBT legal rights groups warned against filing the “wrong” lawsuits, and urged couples who feel like getting litigious to call them.

So the modern gay couple’s wedding checklist will read: 1. Choose florist. 2. Arrange photographer. 3. Call civil rights organization. Yup, that’s the stuff of heady romance.

Shortly after the news broke that the Ontario Court of Appeals had ruled in favor of gay marriage, Evan Wolfson, executive director of this country’s Freedom to Marry, said it will take time for Americans in power to sort out the status of those who plight their troth up north. During that period he said the yoked couples will be able “every day to role model what married gay Americans look like, and help dispel the scare tactics of the religious right.”

Talk about pressure. Be a role model on behalf of all gays? Expose the religious right? AND get dinner on the table? I can picture myself saying, “Dear, I’m spending the day in bed. I don’t feel I can be exemplary today.”

Finally, and ironically, Canada’s decision to take this revolutionary step could resuscitate something wholly traditional. For years it was an American custom to honeymoon at Niagara Falls. Now I foresee a new generation of honeymooners there — but on the Canadian side.