“I hope we all realize that, as of Nov. 2, gay rights are officially dead. And that from here on we are going to be led even closer to the guillotine. ... Almost 60 million people whom we live and work with every day think we are immoral. ‘Moral values’ was at the top of many lists of why people supported George Bush. Not Iraq. Not the economy. Not terrorism. ‘Moral values.’ In case you need a translation, that means us.”

“Pompous little pansy prig. ... Pillow-biter.”

“The country is right this minute being led, morally speaking, by a cadre of sexually barren males and prim humorless vaginally denuded women who have about as much sex appeal and libidinous acumen and raw divine awareness as a beige 1993 Dodge Caravan. This much we know. But here’s the fabulous news: the pendulum, it always swings. The recoil always happens. And the further the petrified fundamentalists now squeezing the testicles of our born-again administration cram us down the bleak hole of 1950s-style sexual ignorance and misogyny and homophobia and silly whining to the FCC about bare breasts and curse words and heavily Botoxed white women daring to expose themselves to black NFL stars, the more potent and delicious the backlash will be.”