Valentine’s Day sometimes brings couples together as newlyweds, but for many same-sex couples around California, attempts to formalize their relationships have been denied. On Feb. 14, marriage equality supporters organized by the San Diego chapter of Equality California/Marriage Equality California (EQCA/MECA) marched from outside of the Starbuck’s on University Avenue down to the San Diego County Administration building in an attempt to bring more visibility to marriage discrimination. This action was just one of hundreds of events happening across California as part of Equality California’s “Get Engaged” campaign in support of February’s Freedom to Marry month.

Several committed same-sex couples stood up for their relationships requesting marriage licenses, but were turned down by the County Clerk’s Office, who cited a state statute which only recognizes marriages as between a man and a woman. A rally followed as a crowd of over 40 people gathered to hear several speakers supporting same-sex marriage in the San Diego County Administration building’s south parking lot.

Earlier that morning two couples from the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) of San Diego also requested marriage licenses and were denied.

“We made a big statement, and the people in the clerk’s office will never be the same because of our action… We truly put a face to the issue of gay marriage,” said MCC Minister Linda Gibbins-Croft in a press release.

Kati DeBolt and her partner, Lori Brickley, were one of several same-sex couples associated with EQCA/MECA that attempted to obtain a marriage license from the County Clerk’s Office.

“They pretty much told us that they can’t marry us until the law changes, which we understand,” said DeBolt during the rally.

“We’ve been together for over nine years now and yet I could walk off the street into the County Clerk’s Office with a man that I’ve maybe known for a few minutes and go get married,” said DeBolt. “What’s wrong with that? We should be able to have a committed relationship that is legally recognized and protected by our state.”

DeBolt and Brickley were also part of the 3,000 people who crowded into San Francisco City Hall last Saturday night to celebrate the first anniversary of the marriage licenses San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom issued last year to over 4,000 same-sex couples. Since then, the state Supreme Court has voided all marriage licenses issued to those couples.

This was DeBolt and Brickley’s second denial from the County Clerk’s Office. When they discovered that no same-sex couples in San Diego County had attempted to obtain marriage licenses, they went ahead and applied for a license last October.

“We want to send this message to the county clerk that we are here and we are not going away, and we are citizens who want the same rights and privileges, responsibilities and protections that every other married couple has,” said DeBolt.

Reverend Houston Burnside of the MCC voiced his support for same-sex marriage and challenged President George Bush’s opposition to it.

“If our president is true to his words about being a compassionate person and honoring what his faith says, then we have no right to continue to have people be unequal in this great nation,” said Burnside. “The time has come for our marriages to be recognized. The time has come for us to be full partners in this American society.”

Lauren and Beth Warrem spoke about the issues they face raising their eight-week-old daughter Kendall. At the time of Kendall’s birth, Beth, the biological mother, could only be listed on Kendall’s birth certificate as a legal guardian even though they are both her parents.

“It’s just so difficult because we have to jump through so many additional hoops that a heterosexual couple doesn’t have to deal with in terms of just having the child,” said Beth Warrem.

Beth added that they would have to incur legal costs to amend the birth certificate so Lauren can formally adopt Kendall and become a legal guardian. The couple is in the process of taking that action and hopes it will be finalized within the year.

Both feel it is crucial to be legally recognized as a family and able to legally marry in order to enjoy those rights. “We’re here to protect the family, everybody’s family: same sex, opposite sex. Family is family and it’s important to us as Americans,” said Lauren.

EQCA/MECA chapter leader Nadine Jernewall said her partner, Sze Tan, is not a legal U.S. citizen and is on a work visa from Malaysia. When Tan’s visa expires, the couple will have to make an important decision in order to stay together due to the lack of rights as a non-legally-married couple.

“If we were a heterosexual couple then we would solve our problem of being a bi-national couple by getting married. That’s what a lot of people do,” said Jernewall.

Tan will either have to return to Malaysia when her visa expires or the couple will have to immigrate to a country where same-sex marriage is a legal option.

“Canada is one of those countries and we feel fortunate that there is a country that will take us, but at the same time we’re pretty horrified that it’s considered a solution,” said Jernewall.