If you’ve been spending too much time at VaginaFest meetings lately, you may not have realized that lesbians have been all over TV in the last few weeks – and there’s more to come, with the infamous “L-Word” season two premier taking place this week, on Feb. 20. Of course, we have February sweeps to thank for much of the added lesbo presence on television; it’s somewhat of a given in the industry that a lesbian kiss is just the sort of stunt needed to get extra viewers to tune in to a show and talk about it later. And so we have sweeps to thank for the fact that “The O.C.” saw its first lesbian lip-lock on its Feb. 10 Valentine’s Day episode, and “Wife Swap” (yes, that’s actually the name of the show) saw its first lesbian wife-trade the very same week. The question is: Are we left grateful for the added visibility, or disappointed yet again by the media’s half-assed attempts at lesbian portrayals all for the sake of an advertising buck?

The episode of “The O.C.”, which my partner and I did catch, was tame at best – especially for a show that does not tend to hold back much in its portrayals of teens, including sex, drugs and alcohol without much censorship. The much talked about and now highly controversial kiss between Marissa (Mischa Barton) and Alex (Olivia Wilde) was left to the last few minutes of the episode, and featured the girls smooching briefly while sitting on the beach at night. It was cute, romantic and just about as sweet as the Valentine’s chocolate I was munching on at the time. But sexy? Not so much. It should be interesting to see, however, how the relationship unfolds in the coming weeks, as “O.C.” creator Josh Schwartz continues to swear that Marissa’s lesbian feelings are substantial and real, and not a temporary ratings stunt.

Meanwhile, over at ABC, the lesbian storyline on “Wife Swap” was not quite so saccharine. For the Feb. 9 episode, liberal lesbian wife and mother Kristine Luffey swapped homes with ultra-conservative, straight, Bush-loving Republican wife and mother Kris Gillespie for a show that ended with closed-minded Kris saying things like, “I think you are, according to the word of God, depraved, and I don’t want anyone depraved near my kids.” Even more depressing was lesbian Kristine’s post-show interview, in which she expressed that, if given the choice again, she would not redo the swap. “I was very foolish and naive to do something like this – I really did know better,” she concluded on the “Wife Swap” website. “I knew that people were ignorant and cruel. In my heart, I didn’t want to believe it; I wanted to believe that somewhere in there, they could be kind. Now I do believe that some people are truly cruel, and unfortunately, I will never forget.” This is a disappointing but not totally surprising response, considering that the folks at “Wife Swap” swapped the lesbians with such a bigoted, ridiculous couple that there was no room left in their Bible-thumping brains for the growth and change that could have come from the trade. At least now, however, all the GLBT folks who tuned in for the show have a clearer understanding of who exactly fills up our country’s red states!

The last bit of lesbian-related T.V. gossip came from the “Desperate Housewives” camp last week when Marcia Cross, who plays uptight, NRA card-carrying homemaker Bree Van de Kamp on the popular series, released a statement while appearing on “The View” that, contrary to popular belief, she is not a lesbian. “I guess it just comes with being on TV, 42 years old and not married,” Cross said to the ladies of “The View”. “But no, I’m not a lesbian.” Good news to those of us who were “Melrose Place” fans and prefer to remember Cross as stone-cold crazy, instead of queer. I still won’t be surprised, however, if next year’s February sweeps stunt is a giant lesbian orgy between all the desperate housewives… and you won’t hear me complaining, either!

Now back in the real world, there are plenty of great things happening in the San Diego women’s community this month…

Things are heating up at 6 Degrees, as everyone’s favorite ladies’ bar celebrates its three-year anniversary! That’s right, folks – on Saturday, Feb. 19, the staff at “The Six” will celebrate with “A Night in Monte Carlo”, an evening of gaming, food and fun. Swing by for roulette, black jack, craps and more (with NO buy in) and your chance to win some fabulous prizes. Happy anniversary, ladies!

You won’t want to miss Anna Joy Springer and Jenny Donovan’s T.M.I. reading series this month, when the Sex Workers’ Art Show is featured on Feb. 24. Hitting the road again after last year’s wildly successful national tour, the Sex Workers’ Art Show brings audiences a mesmerizing, cabaret-style event featuring music, burlesque, spoken word, drag, sexy circus tricks and multimedia performance art, as well as a visual art display that travels with the show. The artwork and performances offer a wide range of perspectives on sex work, from celebration of prostitution and sex-positivity to views from the darker side of the industry. T.M.I. takes place at the Voltaire Space in Ocean Beach, and offers a great alternative to the bar scene, so check it out! And bring your favorite spoken-word piece to read during the open mic portion of the evening.

VaginaFest 2005 takes place next month on March 6, and coordinator Emily Foster is still looking for volunteers! If you can volunteer for an hour or two during the festival, please email vaginavolunteers@yahoo.com and let Emily know your availability. VaginaFest is San Diego’s only women’s health fair and day of fun dedicated to providing health services to LBT women and their friends. Getting involved is a great way to meet some of our community’s most amazing women, so sign up today!

Another way you can support VaginaFest is by swinging by the V-Fest Car Wash on Feb. 20, from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. at the pharmacy on the corner of Park Boulevard and University Avenue. Anyone interested in helping out should call (619) 675-4750 or email cne658@bust.com. According to Emily, a few of the ladies will be wearing and washing in bikinis, in case that helps draw anyone out from their cave, or add to the donations!

If you’re wondering where all the ladies go to party late on Saturday nights, the answer is Play Girl, Club Montage’s new ladies’ party. Now presented every Saturday night at Montage, Play Girl has some unique entertainment to offer. Anything goes… come dressed “creatively” and get front-of-line privileges (the door judge decides). Most creative expressions will be rewarded. Club Montage offers three areas of hi-fidelity dance music, including circuit house, hip-hop, breaks and deep progressive grooves that reflect the hottest international trends in electronic music. Join resident DJs Bryan Pruett, KIKI and Daemon, along with special guests every weekend. At Club Montage, there is something for everyone no matter what your tastes or style. Doors open at 10:00 p.m. and close no earlier than 4:00 a.m.! There are $2 wells specials running until 11:00 p.m., and their popular sushi bar on the top deck remains open until 3:00 a.m. for the late night connoisseurs.

If you’re looking to get crafty, The Center’s Women’s Resource Center might just become your new favorite place! Claudia Lucero has just announced a three-week Knitting Workshop to be taught by Mixelle, a seasoned crafter. Participants will work on simple to more advanced projects throughout the weeks. No previous experience is necessary but Mixelle does recommend that you join the group at the beginning, as they will progress. Meeting dates for this session are Monday, Feb. 28, March 7 and March 14, beginning at 7:15 p.m. in the WRC (right after a free yoga class). Cost is $15 for the session or $5 per class (includes yarn for each class meeting). Knitting needles to take home will be available for a small fee, but you may also bring your own (#10s are needed for projects). For more information, check out The Center’s website.

Another exciting event taking place at the WRC is “Coffee and Conversation with Cool Women” featuring Bixi Craig (founder and publisher of Lavender Lens) on March 9. Bixi is an incredible and insightful woman, so go check out the talk to learn how she created one of the country’s most beloved lesbian publications!

And last, but certainly not least, The Center’s Health Services Center has just announced the formation of a new Women’s Sexual Assault Survivors Group. The group will take place on Wednesdays from 6:00 to 7:30 p.m. at the Health Services Center located at 2313 El Cajon Blvd. The Sexual Assault Survivors Group will be an ongoing group. It will operate in six-week cycles and is limited to 10 women per cycle. The group is geared to survivors of sexual abuse that occurred in either adulthood or childhood. For more information and/or to schedule an initial intake interview, call Dr. Sheryl Dagang at (619) 260-6380 ext. 114.

’Til next month ladies… love your bodies and yourselves! And email me with any events, questions or comments at queerabby@hotmail.com. Cheers!