“I support it [same-sex marriage] because we’re asking for the same thing. If I have a partner and something happens to me, I want that partner to enjoy the benefits of what we have reaped together. It’s a civil-rights thing, isn’t it? ... It’s like African Americans. We were not allowed to go through certain doors because of our race, our color. Jews were not allowed to buy property.”

“They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. TightPants maybe. SpongeBob HotPants? You go, girl! What about Donald Duck? Sailor top, no pants. Hello? Bugs Bunny. More dresses than J. Edgar Hoover at Mardi Gras. Hello?”

“[O]n his arrival in Springfield, Ill., as a young aspiring lawyer, [Abraham] Lincoln met one Joshua Speed at the local general store and immediately agreed to share a bed with him for lodging. Not so unusual in the rustic heartland of those days. But Lincoln and Speed shared their bed for four years. He couldn’t find anywhere else to sleep? Every historian acknowledges their emotional bond. What kind of bond was it? When Speed eventually told Lincoln that he was leaving town, Lincoln had a complete nervous breakdown. ‘I am now the most miserable man living,’ Lincoln wrote at the time. ‘Whether I shall ever be better I can not tell; I awfully forbode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible; I must die or be better, it appears to me.’ Does that sound to you like the reaction to a good friend moving on in life or to a true love affair denied and crushed?”