I first met John McCusker when I was board chair of the San Diego Human Dignity Foundation. He joined as an enthusiastic participant in what was to be a four-year tenure of active dedication and willingness to improve our community. We became fast friends and I knew from that point on that whenever I needed a helping hand to brainstorm strategies, mobilize volunteers or search for resources, I could count on John.

John earned my respect from the beginning. Not many people spend their free time in philanthropy, and of those that do, there is an even smaller percentage of people that actually put in the hours to really make a difference. There is a passion, a deeper purpose that motivates people to do that kind of work. John exemplified that type of commitment.

President Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “Leadership is the art of getting someone to do something you want done because they want to do it.” Boy, talk about the personification of my friend. His record of encouraging people to help is legendary. John’s smile, energy and warmth made him a beloved, passionate soul who touched countless lives. His compassion and perseverance made this world a better place because of it.

We now know that at least a part of that energy was attributable to substance abuse. John was burdened by addiction; an increasingly common illness that ruins countless lives and creates peripheral damage in all areas of our community. Part of the insidious nature of addiction is its ability to mask the behavior even to the people we are closest to. People can run successful businesses, have boundless energy for tireless hours of productive work and be almost everything to everyone.

Two years ago I joined with some friends in conjunction with Stepping Stone to create a harm reduction campaign focused on crystal methamphetamine use among gay and bisexual men. Because of my experience with John, I was convinced he would be responsive to walking with me on yet another path of social change. I was not disappointed and the only question he asked was “how can I help?” How ironic that the cause we tackled would hit so close to home.

What drugs do not provide are passion, kindness and benevolence. Traits that made John such a natural leader and such a beloved figure in our community. Drugs did not rob John of his humanity, only extinguished a light that shined so brightly for a very, very short 31 years.

By creating marketing materials for Stepping Stone the last three years and through my work with the San Diego HIV Funding Collaborative, I have witnessed the havoc wreaked by drug and alcohol abuse. As a gay man, I have seen the devastation of a community I cherish in the name of reckless abandon and irresponsible partying. We owe it to ourselves to live life to the fullest, only temper that abandon with moderation and awareness.

It is important to remember that John was also human. Like John, we all have demons we’re reluctant to discuss. I can’t explain John’s reasons for his use of drugs, I can only find comfort in his decency and hope that others will learn from our loss. I view the death of my dear friend as a catalyst for addressing the horrors of addiction and the stigma associated with substance abuse in the gay community. We must embrace this tragedy with compassion and humanity and move forward in a positive and constructive way. John’s leadership can continue even through the tragedy of his death.

Dance like no one’s watching. I love you, John.