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Quote UnQuote

Compiled by Rex Wockner

Published Thursday, 14-Apr-2005 in issue 903

“Well now that I think about it, I imagine gay people would love that. Why? I’m not quite sure. Maybe it’s the long wooden stick.”

— “Desperate Housewives” actress Nicollette Sheridan (Edie Britt) in reference to an episode of “Knots Landing” in which her character (Paige Matheson) played strip croquet.

“Living in shame ... seems to be OK with the Cheneys, that fun couple who have more to do with the way our country is run than people care to admit. Whenever mention is made of their lesbian daughter, they rush to hide behind a wall of shame. Polite people don’t mention such things in public – do you hear us, John Kerry? If their daughter’s sexuality didn’t truly bother and shame them, they wouldn’t care how many people called her a lesbian on TV. It would be a statement of fact, like that Joe Lieberman is a Jew or Prince Harry is a jerk – something unassailable and true since birth. For all the Cheneys’ talk of how proud they are, they’re deeply ashamed. They cry like wounded banshees when Mary’s sexuality comes up in any conversation.”

— Columnist Bruce Vilanch, The Advocate, March 15.

“Joan Rivers and I both absolutely insist that we never would have got started without our gay audience. They were the first to actually accept us as funny women.”

— Comedian Phyllis Diller to freelance journalist Jay Blotcher, as published in the St. Louis gay magazine EXP, March 4.

“It’s [my life] considerably more domesticated than it used to be. I found the perfect Jewish husband – actually, he found me – and he’s about to make me buy a dog. He climbs on ladders to fix things while I wring my hands below and beg him to be careful. The truth is I was never very good at the hedonistic, partygoing lifestyle even when I was trying to be. It was always quite loud, which rarely gave me an opportunity to talk endlessly about myself. Today, Brian has to work hard to get me to leave the house.”

— Gay author Christopher Rice to the Portland, Ore., gay newspaper Just Out, March 4.

“Report to the police any crystal dealer you can identify. People in the clubs and elsewhere know who these people are. If one is arrested, another takes his or her place. Then we report that one, as well. One phone call, even an anonymous one, brings that person to the attention of the police who can then target them for an investigation. These are people who see every day what they are doing to people, yet because of the money involved or their own crystal use, they cannot or will not stop ruining the lives of those around them. We can’t stop all of them, but we might be able to make a dent that will save at least some individuals from a life of despair. Draconian? Perhaps. But desperate times require desperate measures.”

— Jeff Epperly, former longtime editor of the Boston gay newspaper Bay Windows and a recovered crystal user, writing in the Feb. 24 issue.