Yes, San Diego, look out for the upcoming new biweekly gay men’s slick, glossy entertainment and action-packed magazine premiering soon…

Those who know me know that I have a very spiritual side of me…. Brought up in a strict, traditional Mexican Catholic family, I was an altar boy, dreamed of becoming a priest and came very close to entering the seminary. I have stood by the Catholic Church all my life and, in fact, I was such a traditionalist that I did not favor the Vatican council of the 1960s and was against changing the Mass from Latin…. My favorite was Pope Pius XII, and in history I loved Queen Mary of Scotland.

As I soon realized I was a homosexual, it tore me up inside and led to a great and difficult conflict and journey to self-acceptance…. Yes, Catholic guilt consumed me at times. But I continued in my faith and in going to church, and continue to this day to privately pray almost every day for friends, guidance, and peace of mind and soul.

But after decades of turmoil, I have come to the final crossroad in my life concerning leaving the church of my birth. It has become too much for me…. The Catholic Church states that homosexuals are “evil” and “morally distorted”… it considers my love for another man as “a menace to the planet’s social fabric”…. Our local bishop’s refusal to bury John McCusker shook my faith to its foundation, and the other day when Mayor Newsom of San Francisco told me that his Catholic parish priest now refuses him to attend church, this too saddened me.

The recent death of Pope John Paul II was sad for me, but this is the pope who was the most anti-gay. And as for telling Africa and the world not to use condoms against AIDS was unbelievable.

I patiently awaited the announcement of our new pope. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger from Germany is our new pope and he is more conservative and anti-gay than John Paul II… he helped draft the infamous 1986 letter from Rome against homosexuality. A recent poll of Germans had a majority hoping that he would not be the next pope! Joseph Ratzinger was known as “Cardinal No.”

My heart weighs heavily in this upcoming decision… many of my GLBT Catholics have left the church already…. As I face difficult health at times and the reality that I am getting older, do I want to be buried by a church that thinks my community is evil?

I was a lifelong Republican until the 1980s, AIDS, another Reagan administration… I registered as a Democrat and voted for Jesse Jackson…. This decision will be much harder as it may break my mother’s heart…. I will pray and hope to make the right decision… thanks for listening.

Councilmember Scott Peters will be San Diego’s first president of the city council when our strong-mayor form of government begins next year.

While many like kicking a man when he’s down, I don’t… the Time magazine ranking of Mayor Murphy certainly must hurt him and his family. Now there seems to be no way that there will not be a recall effort beginning next month against our mayor…. Yes, there are a lot of major problems and mistakes, but if you know Dick Murphy, you know he is a decent man who maybe is just in over his head, but then who will be able to change things around? Word is if a recall is successful, it could be a Donna Frye vs. Ron Roberts race at the end of it all.

While I agree that District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis made a mistake in her city council presentation recently, I do not agree with all the ugly, vicious attacks, articles and cartoons outside and within some of our community. Bonnie did not let a killer or rapist go loose… she deserves to be judged on her two-and-a-half years in office, on that solid record, not on this one misstep.

Congressmember Bob Filner has far out-fundraised his rival, Assemblymember Juan Vargas, in campaign contributions in recent reporting.

I believe Art Torres has long overstayed his chairmanship of our state Democratic Party… it’s time for a new face and new blood, and a person who does not make an ass out of himself with the national media.

The recent filing of a complaint against City Attorney Mike Aguirre to the state bar by Hud Collins is laughable… this is the same nut who has called for the resignation of Deputy Mayor Michael Zucchet and Councilmember Ralph Inzunza (he’s never heard that you’re presumed innocent until proven guilty).

Last week, after a well-publicized community town hall meeting put on by San Diego LGBT Pride, hardly anyone showed up! So I’m tired of people bitching and complaining about some things, then never showing up. Pride is doing a great job, and is open to all to get involved and give input…. Did you know that just in the last 10 years Pride has given over $840,000 back to our community?

Thank you to the Pride board and staff for a most productive and enlightening meeting, which I will be discussing in my next column.

This past Monday, I went to another Padres baseball game with my good pal, attorney Bruce Abrams, who, believe it or not, had never been to a baseball game in his entire life! I just love Petco Park, as it is the most beautiful park in the country…. Though it rained, we were guests in the mayor/city council box, and San Diego beat San Francisco…. If you have not been, I urge you to check out Petco Park – truly the pride of downtown.

This coming Monday night, April 25, will be the evening that the 2005 Nicky Awards nominees will be officially announced, and their individual categories…. It all takes place at Numbers at 7:00 p.m., and our annual gay Academy Awards excitement is already in the air… you’d better get your tickets and tables today, as they’re going like hotcakes already (first come, first serve for VIP and general tickets). The 29th annual Nicky Awards will be held at the beautiful Westin Horton Plaza Hotel on Sunday, May 15.

The prestigious Board of Governors honorees this year will be St. Paul’s Cathedral, Mayor Ron Oden of Palm Springs and veteran activist Ms. Vertez Burke, who will be receiving a lifetime achievement award…. It will be a night of outstanding entertainment, pride, fun, and the coming together of a community honoring its own. For more information, phone Jess San Roque at (619) 757-0197.

Every Saturday night at Flicks is a “Treasure Chest” cash giveaway, with everyone getting a key…. Now it’s up to $900! There is no cover, and every Saturday night is also Flicks’ “Wet Booty Call”…. Follow the crowds to Flicks this Saturday.

Numbers will be featuring DJ Brett Henrichsen of Masterbeat on Saturday, April 23. Over at The Flame on Friday, April 22, there will be a free DJ Niknotiq CD giveaway. So get down, hustle and/or shake your tail feather at these happening hot spots.

Popular Ashlee Simpson had her Lasik performed at Custom Laser Center. So could you! Laser eye surgery is affordable for just about anyone – as low as $50 per month. Talk about freedom. Get rid of those glasses or contacts. Call them today! (888) 215-2020.