The Supreme Court has no regard for my needs whatsoever. A few days after I completed an obviously superior column on the biggest gay news around, Canada’s decision to allow gays to wed, the Supreme Court struck down the Texas sodomy law.

For gay Americans, this was a watershed moment. For me, this was a stinker.

Naturally when I awoke to the news that Thursday morning (June 26) that the court had thrown out the anti-gay law, I was ecstatic. Until I realized that this news would eclipse all other news, and my brand new column on Canada would either die like a beached whale, or be buried between ads for vacation rentals and nude massage.

Would it have killed the berobed justices to wait another week? To consult with me first? Where are their priorities?

In his dissent, Justice Antonin Scalia declared that the court had “largely signed on to the so-called homosexual agenda.” Though I continue to miss out on those clandestine conferences where the gay agenda is established — I suspect Tinky Winky and the ghost of Paul Lynde run the meetings — I do have my own GLBT plan.

It consists of running early and often in gay newspapers. To that end, I tried to encourage editors not to forget about my marriage column. I sent them e-mails with the subject line, “I know sodomy is taking all your time.” I never heard back from a soul.

Shortly after the Supremes handed down their decision I attended the Pride festivities here in Seattle. Though Washington isn’t one of the 13 states with a law against sodomy, same-sex or otherwise, the fact that the highest court in the land had emphatically stated that no, gay sex is not criminal, made for an extra impetus to celebrate.

“Everyone that had legal sex today, clap your hands!” cried the parade emcee. I strongly suspect that many more clapped than actually had sex of any sort, just because the official lifting of the sanction against us makes a person want to clap and yell. The emcee also noted straight sodomites are off the hook now too. I could be wrong, but I don’t think that evoked the same kind of glee in them.

When the float of the Legal Marriage Alliance of Washington drove by, the emcee yelled, “Let’s hear it for Canada!” and the crowd responded with a big round of applause. I’m sure those around me were mystified as I whined, “Oh sure, let’s give Canada a biiiiig hand. Like it hasn’t just been obscured by Texas. Like it hasn’t been kicked right out of the limelight, along with my column, by a huge cowboy boot.”

I suppose, if forced, I can put aside my own needs for a nanosecond, and acknowledge that June was a doozy of a month. The events in Canada and the decision in Washington, D.C. were joyous landmarks in the battle for gay civil rights.

But in the future I request that all milestones be spaced apart. In fact, they should occur in sync with my deadlines — and lend themselves to my column length. Then and only then will I feel properly compensated for the wrong the court has done me.