I didn’t realize it, but I’ve missed Jane Fonda. On Golden Pond, Nine to Five, The China Syndrome, Jane Fonda’s Complete Workout – I’ve missed it all. I’m too young to remember the outrage of Fonda’s trip to Vietnam and too old to not remember her at all, so I have the unique perspective of loving Jane Fonda, circa 1983.

Between the Oscar nominations and workout videos, the ’80s were the last decade of solid work for Jane. I remember renting Barbarella (not one of her ’80s projects, but again, I was an ’80s child), at age 7 or 8, on videotape and it left me a little tingly inside. I haven’t seen Barbarella since then, but I can still remember furry outfits and a wonderful sex machine used to torture Barbarella. You’d have to see the movie to know what I mean, but girls, it was hot.

But the real reason I love J. Fo is because she comes off as a little bitchy and uptight. I know bitchy and uptight probably wasn’t the image she wanted to project, and I am sure many would disagree with my opinion, but my impression of her fit her so well. As it turns out, I can really identify with bitchy and uptight. The two-time Oscar-winning actress, last seen on the big screen in 1990’s Stanley and Iris, has finally come back to film and, to put it simply, the bitch is back.

Monster-in-Law is the story of Charlotte (Jennifer Lopez), a down-on-her luck singleton that finally meets the man of her dreams, Kevin (Michael Vartan, who isn’t the man of my dreams, but I digress).

Kevin brings Charlotte home to meet his mother, Viola (Fonda), a former Barbara Walters-type journalist, and proposes to Charlotte right in front of his mother. Viola, already fragile from a complete breakdown three months earlier when she was fired from her job due to her old age, makes it her mission to stop the wedding at all costs. Along with her trusty, hilarious personal assistant, Ruby (Wanda Sykes), Viola goes on the warpath to derail the impending wedding, all without her son’s knowledge.

The scenes with Fonda and Sykes are laugh-out-loud funny. Fonda, who really hasn’t been in a comedy since 1980’s Nine to Five, works every scene to a frothy mess. In one scene, Viola begs for booze (haven’t we all!) only to be blocked by her assistant Ruby. The response and look of disgust on Viola’s face is as ugly as any scene you’ll see in a movie this year.

Just like the television show “Will & Grace,” where I wish the show was entirely about Jack and Karen, I found myself wishing Monster-in-Law was only about Viola and Ruby (Jennifer who?). That’s how good Fonda and Sykes are together.

Jennifer “Gigli” Lopez remains stuck in the romantic lead role, when I think she should probably focus her energy on a good drama (check out Out of Sight to see what I mean). She makes the best of it, but my heart belongs to Fonda. A great scene at the end between Fonda and the legendary Elaine Stritch might be the highlight of the whole film (and a film of its own if they ever want to do a sequel).

The script, while decent and good-natured, could have gone an 10 extra minutes into the dark comedy theme it establishes so well in the second act. Regardless, Monster-in-Law is all Fonda, and we can only hope she’s back for good.

You’ve just arrived at the club. You look fabulous, you have your third cocktail in hand, and you are ready to check out the scene in your new Kenneth Coles. The possibility of a great night swims around in your head. You swish over to the dance floor, ready to get your freak on. Much to your chagrin, you find a single soul dancing on the edge of the dance floor, surrounded by 100 others guys looking bitter, bored and motionless. If only the DJ would play their song, giving them that ever-so-slight push onto the dance floor.

Then it happens. As if the dance gods had heard your prayer during that last swig of your Cape Cod, you hear “your” song. The dance floor grabs you and the rest of the crowd, and with a single track from the DJ, the night and your buzz have been rescued from a bitter demise. The power of a single song, at the right moment, can turn a bad night into a night to remember.

Will Ferrell has accomplished a similar feat in his latest flick, Kicking and Screaming, turning a horrible movie into something watchable.

Phil Weston (Ferrell) has been living his whole life trying to deal with his overly competitive father, Buck (Robert Duval). When Buck trades his own grandson from the winning soccer team, Phil fights back, becoming the coach of his son’s new, impossibly terrible soccer team. Comedy ensues all the way to the sugary-sweet final outcome, with the appropriate “aww, shucks” moment. Should I say more?

Ferrell single-handedly saves this soccer comedy from complete and utter failure, injecting real human quality into a stiff, cardboard character. Ferrell’s character, who could not have possibly been as developed as Ferrell’s performance suggests, is a great dad who doesn’t realize it.

Phil’s son becomes the final pawn in a tug-of-war between Phil and Buck over who really is the better man and father. Phil is a tortured soul, just crying out for love from his father, who can’t get past his own competitive nature. This is cheesy stuff, folks, right up there with Hallmark TV movies, but just like Ferrell’s past projects (the superior Elf and Anchorman, to name a few), it works because Ferrell plays his characters with such conviction.

Which isn’t to say the movie is great. It isn’t. Predictable to a fault and only mildly funny, the film balances on trivial plot points that wrap up way too nicely in the final 10 minutes. The jokes are at times mediocre (the obligatory soccer-ball-to-the-crotch is there in all its glory), but you’ll also see a surprisingly endearing character (and actor, for that matter) stuck in a sub-par film. This one may not be a winner, but Ferrell scores nonetheless.

(TLA Video)

$24.99

Men or boys? What a choice! It’s a decision a promiscuous gay dentist must make in the sexy Spanish import Bear Cub: to reconcile and balance his noncommittal ways and endless parade of hirsute lovers when a 9-year-old nephew ends up in his care.

Out director Miguel Albaladejo’s Bear Cub, translated from the original title, Cachorro (a term Spanish parents use kindly towards their children), mixes comedy, drama, complex characters and a cast of hunky bears and chasers.

Frisky dentist Pedro (José Luis García-Pérez) is put-upon when his irresponsible sister, Violeta (Elvira Lindo), leaves nephew Bernardo (David Castillo) in his care. Following a shocking turn of events, this disruptive temporary visit becomes a full-time living situation. Frustrated but determined to do the right thing, Pedro adjusts his life accordingly… and grows to love the kid, as do his circle of friends and neighbors.

Things are looking up for this new family until Bernardo’s estranged grandmother, Dona Teresa (Empar Ferrer), arrives. She wants to take the boy away for a more “moral” upbringing, and she’ll play dirty to get what she wants….

One of the best gay films in recent memory, Bear Cub is also one of the few titles to feature the gay “bear” set. However, the lack of shirtless, hairless twinks shouldn’t steer non-bears away from renting or buying the film; it’s accessible and entertaining for all audiences. The unrated version is also quite provocative, with several erections and graphic sexual play (“Woof!” as the bears say).

Out director Albaladejo previously won accolades in his native Spain for the hysterical children’s film Manolito Four-Eyes. Kids still play a part, but this follow-up is an assured, deliciously adult work.

Heterosexual actor José Luis García-Pérez – whose star is quickly rising – was unfamiliar with the bear set when Albaladejo first cast him. To get familiar with the scene, he was introduced to and “adopted” by a clan of bears and cubs. They took him out to Madrid’s Hot bar, which also served as a shooting location. His performance, for which he gained 30 pounds (by eating mostly cheesecake – “Now I hate cheesecake!” he admits in the commentary), is excellent. Pedro is a complex character – a bit of a jerk, but an honest one. He’s determined and stands fast behind his convictions, but is also fallible and vulnerable.

Castillo is also quite a find, naturalistic and adorable.

The DVD includes two juicy deleted scenes. One, a sequence running almost 15 minutes, features more lovin’ action between Pedro and his on-off French pilot boyfriend, Manuel (Arno Chevrier), and a gut-bustingly funny Blake Edwards-esque set piece. The other, far shorter scene expands the film’s epilogue.

The feature commentary features García-Pérez and the producer’s assistant, Pascalle Dilleman. Dishing behind-the-scenes info, Dilleman repeatedly ribs García-Pérez about his hairy-man love scenes, which the very cool straight actor keeps assuring were just dandy. Bear Cub is a true delight and an absolute must for bears and their fans.