‘Most people would rather be shot than enlightened.’

- Grandma Ruth

Irma (Terri Park) and Roy (John Rosen), somewhere in the Midwest, arrive at the minister’s office for marriage counseling. Their 25-year relationship “needs a little tune-up,” or so Irma thinks. But Roy is clearly unhappy about something he is reticent to tell Irma about.

With her out of the room, Roy spills the beans to the Reverend Muncie (William Tanner): he feels like a woman trapped in a man’s body, and wants to have a sex-change operation.

Looking for Normal, Jane Anderson’s exploration of normalcy, acceptance and the effects of dropping a sex-change bomb on a nice Midwestern family, is at Diversionary Theatre through June 11, directed by Lisa Berger.

Gender reassignment is not exactly unheard of these days – remember Hedwig and the Angry Inch? But neither is it common, nor widely accepted, and certainly not considered “normal” by accepted standards. But Roy puts it this way: “Nature made a mistake and I need to correct it.”

If it’s a mistake, it’s a big one: Roy, this chunky factory worker, a mountain of a man, so big, so strong, so … guy-like. Can even the idea of him in a skirt be taken seriously in this straight-arrow Midwestern town?

Roy’s daughter, 13-year-old Patty Anne (Natasha Feldman), takes it with aplomb, dealing with things she doesn’t understand by doing research. She has her own problems with gender and the onset of womanhood, to which end she gives the audience show-stopping anatomy lessons complete with frank talk and anatomically-correct models. She approaches Roy’s news the same way, and her matter-of-fact description of Roy’s upcoming sex-reassignment surgery provoked both giggles and leg-crossing by some members of the opening-night audience.

On the other hand, 22-year-old son Wayne (Lance Rogers), the long-haired handyman for a rock band, is disgusted and unwilling to accept it, concluding, “His body will know this is wrong… very wrong.”

But this is really Irma’s challenge. She carries the weight of the show: It is her life that will change forever, she who must make the journey from shock to anger to sadness to eventual acceptance.

Anderson defuses the explosiveness of the topic with comic touches and occasional sitcom situations, some of which are dramatically questionable. In addition to Patty Anne’s “lessons,” Roy’s Grandma Ruth (Jeanne Horn) adds levity, popping in occasionally from the other side to lend historical perspective.

She doesn’t serve much dramatic purpose, but Ruth’s first entrance sure is spectacular, dressed in a snow-white man’s suit and asking the question: “Why is it more acceptable for women to wear pants than men to wear a dress?” She goes on to admit that she left her husband and 3-year-old son (Roy’s father) to become a war nurse and somehow never returned, learning somewhere along the line that she was bisexual. Fascinating but unpopular information (engendering the quote at the top of this review), and something might have been made of that; instead it is mentioned and dropped.

There are other characters of debatable dramatic importance: Roy’s parents (Duane Leake, Kate Hewitt), for example, show up from time to time in their rocking chairs to fill in some of the background exposition, but otherwise don’t seem to be much a part of this family. Likewise, Roy’s boss, Frank (Gerard Maxwell), needed only to give Irma a sex object with whom to make an unsatisfying (and unconvincing) stab at infidelity.

Still, the drama is here, and quite effective: Park’s Irma is terrific as she traverses those painful passages from shock to acceptance, finally concluding that “he is my heart.”

Rosen manages to communicate both Roy’s sadness at the hurt he causes and the longing and excitement at the prospect of correcting the mistake, even with some of the silliness he is asked to engage in.

But Feldman and Horn are by far the most fun to watch.

Looking for Normal is an odd bird – uneven but often compelling – and worth seeing, particularly for Park, Rosen, Feldman and Horn.

Looking for Normal plays through June 11 at Diversionary Theatre. Shows Thurs.-Sat. at 8:00 p.m.; Sun., June 5 at 7:00 p.m. For tickets call (619) 220-0097.

- Verne

Women and men, men and women – the eternal question, the eternal problem: Can we really get along? Should we want to? Common bromides tell the tale: “Men: can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em,” and the feminist flipside, “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”

Which, if either, is true?

Aging spinster Verne (“with an ‘e’ at the end, that makes what seems like a man’s name softer) looks back on her loveless childhood and man-free life while preparing for a rare date in Viburnum, a Fritz Theatre production presented at 6th @ Penn Theatre through June 12.

If it’s true that we “can’t live without ’em,” has Verne’s life been in vain, pointless, or tragic? And if the other quote is true, why all the agonizing women go through about dates?

Verne tells her story with the help of three earlier versions of herself, whom I will number for the sake of convenience: Verne #1 (Rachael Van Wormer) is about 12 and a budding playwright. She’s too young to know about men, or even boys, so she listens to #2 (Sharla Boggs), in her early 20s, whose encyclopedic knowledge of men and how to get a date comes strictly from books. The third alter ego is the middle-aged Verne (D. Candis Paule), cynical, frayed around the edges, and a bit of an alcoholic.

The date Verne is getting ready for brings interesting responses from the others: (1) disbelief; (2) all sorts of book-learning advice; and (3) a weary prediction that this will be just another in a long line of disappointments.

“Talk about him,” says #2. “Men like to talk about themselves.”

“What if he asks about me?” asks Verne.

“I’ll write you a script,” offers #1.

Wonderfully directed by Katie Rodda, Viburnum is bittersweet, sad, funny and touching in turns, and will seem all too familiar to women d’un certain âge.

Gold is heartbreaking as the elderly Verne – excited, frightened and wanting all at once, both hoping and afraid to hope.

Equally strong is the supporting cast. Your heart will go out to Paule’s Verne despite the unattractiveness of her dissolute state, just because it is so terribly sad, though made somewhat easier to take by a droll sense of humor. You won’t even mind that Paule’s character doesn’t seem to belong with the others.

Sharla Boggs’ youthful hopefulness and Van Wormer’s blank-slate optimism complete the portrait of this woman who may not be “Everywoman” but who does represent that segment of society for whom finding that “someone” remains a dream.

Viburnum was part of the 2004 FritzBlitz, where it picked up multiple awards for Gold, Paule, director Rodda and playwright Field.

See it, especially if you’re female.

Viburnum plays through June 11 at 6th @ Penn Theatre. Shows Thurs., Fri. and Sat. at 8:00 p.m. and Sun. at 3:00 p.m. For tickets call (619) 233-7505).

Also on the 6th @ Penn stage (on Sunday nights) is another Fritz production, the two-man Dane & Duane: The Only Thing Missing is U, billed as “80 minutes of stand-up duo-logue and a cappella song.”

Starring Dane Stauffer and Duane Daniels (both still involved in a years-long run of Triple Espresso at the Hahn downtown), Dane & Duane is really a two-part harmony fest with some lame jokes tossed in. The voices are great and they do everything from “Only You” to “Born to Be Wild” to “Mustang Sally” to “Lean on Me.” If you’re looking for comedy, don’t come here, but the music’s pretty good.

Dane & Duane: The Only Thing Missing is U plays Sundays June 5 and 12 at 7:00 p.m. at 6th @ Penn Theatre. For tickets call (619) 122-7505.