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Sandra Bernhard, June 6, 1955
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Horoscope
Published Thursday, 02-Jun-2005 in issue 910
Jupiter quincunx Uranus goads the imagination toward wild innovations. Venus in Cancer, aspecting both, lends a creative direction, but work on focus and discipline! To make life more interesting, Mercury in Gemini squares Mars in Pisces, stimulating conversations and arguments that can veer to paranoia. Secrets slip out too easily.
aries
(March 20 - April 19): Your nonverbal skills can shine in any number of community-based charities. Write down your thoughts, desires, and especially your dreams – anything you like – but be careful what you actually say!
taurus
(April 20 - May 20): You have excellent ideas, especially regarding teamwork. Speak up! Still, those ideas could use some adjustment, so welcome input from colleagues. Friends and loans are a really bad match now. Don’t let the two mix!
gemini
(May 21 - June 20): Your creative flow is more flow than creative. You need a partner in discipline and discernment, preferably a Cancer or a Pisces. Try to get inspiration from authority. Talking back only invites trouble.
cancer
(June 21 - July 22): Inspiration and comfort come from traditions associated with distant ancestral lands. But the “old country” can also be a source of self-doubt and arguments. Mother’s advice isn’t comfy or reassuring, but it is very valuable!
leo
(July 23 - Aug. 22): Onstage, a whisper holds attention better than a shout. The world is your stage, so practice those whispers. Keeping quiet is contrary to your instincts but will help both your mental focus and, more dramatically, your sex appeal.
virgo
(Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Avoid litigation and arguments. You can’t win right now. With a bit of helpful advice and planning, you can ease financial pressures. Although a complete solution is unlikely, improvements – perhaps even major changes – are easy to achieve.
libra
(Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): Romance at work is usually a bad idea, but now you could get an opportunity to build something serious. Be careful there, and also at exercise. Long walks or bike rides are good, but don’t push for speed or endurance.
scorpio
(Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): New adventures lead to rude surprises – probably blessings in disguise, although it may be a while before you see the good in them. Sex play is especially frisky, but risky. Choose your playmates carefully, and keep your head clear and your prophylactics handy!
sagittarius
(Nov. 22 - Dec. 20): Everybody’s sexual behavior is influenced by upbringing and peer pressure. Talks with female relatives (not necessarily on the topic) can help you see those influences more clearly. Anything that sets off an argument is an important clue.
capricorn
(Dec. 21 - Jan. 19): What you say will surprise everyone, even yourself, and stir things up at work, probably for the better – although that could take some fancy maneuvering. But you can do that! Accidents are more likely now, especially in the streets. Look both ways….
aquarius
(Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Games? Investments? Forget it, hon. The only way you can keep from losing now is to go on a diet. You’re lucky elsewhere, though! Reviewing household finances or checking prices for a vacation could turn up some happy surprises.
pisces
(Feb. 19 - March 19): Don’t be shy, little fishy. The stars are cranking up your sex appeal. Be daring and bold, and trust the cliché about the culinary route to your intended’s heart. Bake some sweets for your sweetie – and save some whipped cream for later.
Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is a founding member of the Association for Astrological Networking.
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