Well I’m off to Texas for another national board meeting, so I’m sorry to be missing many events in town this weekend — especially one for my best friends’ birthday, Rick Kerman.…

The GLBT Democratic Club has rated three candidates “acceptable” for the office of city attorney, but I feel all four are. I have not yet made an endorsement, but will soon.… First of all, our community should not judge former Assemblymember Howard Wayne on one bad public comment that he has now apologized for. Howard Wayne should be judged on his complete record, which is over a decade of strong support and votes. Of all the candidates, Consumer Attorney Mike Aguirre has the longest record of support for GLBT rights — which spans over two decades — including standing by the city council and speaking in support of our community during the Boy Scout Balboa Park debate and vote.… Deputy City Attorney Deborah Berger is a favorite of many local Democratic party activists and has 17 years’ experience in the city attorney’s office. Big Mike and I met with Deputy City Attorney Leslie Devaney and, unlike the false rumors, she is not a “clone” of Casey Gwinn and does not wear her religious values on her sleeve. In fact, her campaign manager is a well-known and respected liberal Democratic activist! This race will be a hard one to decide.… By the way, Chris Kehoe has endorsed Howard Wayne.

State Assemblymember Chris Kehoe will be celebrating her 10th anniversary as an elected official with a dinner and fun “roast” on Thursday, Sept. 18 at the Holiday Inn downtown by the pier (I will reserve my comments on this location).… So mark your calendar and reserve your tickets/tables today, as it will be a sold out event in honor of this popular and respected public servant. For more information, call Ron Ferrero at (619) 294-2555.

Respected gay attorney and City Commissioner Rick Kerman has been appointed to serve on a citizens’ panel to help pick our city’s next police chief.… Kerman was on the panel that helped pick our last police chief, the popular David Bejarano. Kerman was then chair of the powerful San Diego Civil Service Commission. Our community, like the people of color community, has a great and serious interest in who will be our next police chief. Word has it Kerman is under consideration as a future judge … if Davis stays in office. By the way, Happy Birthday to Rick Kerman!

First of all, I would like to apologize to Mr. Grienenberger if he or anyone thought that by calling him “Herr” (which means Mr. in German) I was implying he is a fascist. This was not my intention. When people call me “Señor” Ramirez I do not think they are calling me a “wetback.” … As for Mr. Kelly’s recent letter, he is a moron too. If you don’t like my column just turn the page. Don’t read it. Use it to wipe your butt. This is America, you know. And yes, I’ve had plastic surgery … lots of it. My life is an open book. I have been writing a column now for over 30 years (starting with the San Diego Sun in the 1970s) and will continue to write a column for years to come. So just turn the page, you moron.

As you all know, there are about half a dozen male dance/strip/wet contests in town, but one of the most popular and fun is the one at Numbers every Tuesday night, which draws a huge crowd.… What makes this weekly contest stand out is they have quite a different format. First of all, their outstanding emcee is one of our state’s foremost entertainers — and that, of course, is the one and only Chad Michaels, who has won many awards for his talents. Chad makes for a witty, funny, sexy and entertaining emcee.… But it’s the judging that’s really different and fun, very “American Idol.” Three judges comment live on why each contestant was given their score.… The contestants are usually good looking and built, but sometimes the judges comment like Simon of “American Idol”.… So if it’s Tuesday night, just follow the crowd to Numbers for a great time, and if you’re looking to make some money, any guy can enter this contest.…

There will be a lot of fun things happening at Bourbon Street during Pride week, but first, stop in this Saturday night, July 19, for a chance to win tickets to the Dixie Chicks. These are not just any tickets, but 8th-row seats! Even an old queen like me would be able to see these talented young performers clearly without the use of Coke-bottle glasses – ho, ho, ho! Who knows, they might even sacrifice an effigy of George Bush! The drawing will be at 9:30 p.m., after Fabulous Bingo (7:00 p.m.). You must be present to win. See you there!

QSR magazine recently did a study on the fast food industry on which had the best and fastest service.… This is important to the industry, because the research has shown that drive-through customers who see a long line will go to a different chain.… So the following are the chains with the fastest service (no Roberto Alberto’s, Abierto’s, Fredberto’s, etc. were tested).

1) Wendy’s: 2 minutes, 7.21 seconds

2) Chick-fil-a: 2 minutes, 30.57 seconds

3) McDonald’s: 2 minutes, 42.72 seconds

4) Taco Bell: 2 minutes, 47.15 seconds

5) Krystal: 2 minutes, 50.78 seconds

(What in the hell is a Krystal?)