Dear Mr. Wayne, Jr.,

For anxiety and depression, medication is only one way to work with intense emotions and uncomfortable feelings. After talking with my colleague Paula Buckley, I came up with the concept of “the anti-depressant lifestyle,” for people battling depression who prefer to work with it “on their own,” e.g., no meds.

Anti-depressants are very helpful for lots of people, but they are not the end-all for depression. For some people, they don’t work so well or there are possible side effects (weight gain, nausea, dry mouth, headaches, sexual dysfunction) that make them not worth the trouble. If this is you, “the anti-depressant lifestyle” may be helpful. You may have to work harder than someone taking medication, but you won’t have to depend on medication or suffer its side effects. Here’s how it goes:

Exercise every day. Yes, every day. It needn’t be the gym, but it needs to be something strenuous enough to get an endorphin lift (20 minutes minimum). If you’re really a couch potato, start with an easy walk around the neighborhood and gradually start jogging for half the distance, then work it up into jogging for most of the distance (walking at the beginning and end). You want those endorphins to kick in, and a leisurely stroll won’t do it.

Do not isolate. This is important. See a friend every day, even if for only a few minutes. Even if you say you don’t enjoy it, force yourself to be around people. Slowly increase your social contacts and you’ll be less self-obsessed. Being around other people also shows you that other people are struggling, too, and you won’t feel so alone in your sadness, anger, etc.

Force yourself to say hello to at least three people a day. This is another facet of combating isolation. Fight depression by making social connections with new people.

Gloomy, depressed-looking people scare other people away. Consciously make yourself smile, just a little. When you smile, there is literally a biofeedback loop to your body that tells it you are feeling better. I’m not saying to be fake, but try a gentle “Mona Lisa” smile instead of a scowl and notice what happens.

No alcohol or recreational drugs. Alcohol is a depressant and you know where that takes you, and often the aftermath of recreational drugs is intense sadness and loneliness. Don’t yo-yo your emotional state, at least until your depression lifts.

No anonymous sex. This is not the time to put yourself out there and risk rejection or have sex that leaves you feeling empty and lonely.

Get out in nature – be around trees, flowers and plants, or the ocean, or the desert. It can be Balboa Park or a hike in Torrey Pines State Park.

Be around animals, if you like them (and if you don’t, I feel sorry for you). If you have animals, this is the time to let them comfort you. Even goldfish are good listeners – you can imagine what they’d say! Animals are proven depression lifters; try it and see.

Watch what you eat and drink. If you’re tempted to eat junk food, get out of the house and eat out at a healthy place, or buy some healthy food and make a nice, simple meal for yourself. A junk food diet contributes to depression (especially the highs and lows of large amounts of sugar and caffeine), so feed yourself healthy stuff and you’ll feel less depressed.

Make yourself get dressed and leave the house, even on non-work days. Stay in bed if you’re tired, but not if you’re just sad. And if you’re depressed, let yourself have a good cry at least once a day. It’s cathartic, and you’re likely to feel better after. Keeping strong emotions inside is not good for your mind or body.

Sometimes, depression or anxiety is too much for us. If you have suicidal feelings, pay attention to them. Do not ignore them. This is a sign that you need professional help. Call your doctor, therapist or the suicide prevention line, at (800) 479-3339.

Check out the San Diego Pride parade and events this weekend. It’s hard to feel depressed if you’re feeling proud of who you are and who we are as a community.