I’m always amazed at how quick people are to complain, and how slow they are to act. A perfect example of this pattern occurred this past Saturday, when Dyke March 2005 took place on the streets of downtown San Diego and culminated with a festival in Balboa Park. Despite hours of hard work by organizers, turnout was low (roughly 50 people marched from the Hall of Justice on Third and Broadway to Balboa Park at Laurel Street) and complaints were high. Questions that I hear were asked include: “Why is there no beer garden this year?” “Why aren’t there more people here?” And my personal favorite, “Why is this march called ‘Dyke March’ anyway? Doesn’t that set us back as women and as activists by referring to ourselves as ‘the D-word’?”

My response to those barking the criticism comes in the form of yet another question: Tell me, what did YOU do to help plan, publicize or create dialogue around the event? Did you even show up?

At the Dyke March festival, coordinator Willow Winters explained that throughout the planning process she received a lot of “hate mail” from other lesbians, which said things like, “We don’t need this type of diversity; we have Pride,” and, “You’re making it harder for gays and lesbians to get married.” Apparently, “the D-word” is still so hard for some women to swallow that they feel compelled to join the legions of conservative politicians who believe that there is no room in this world for any event entitled “Dyke March.”

Of course, last time I checked, there were just as many ways to express one’s beliefs and/or sexuality as there are shades in the rainbow; some people choose to ride a Pride float in drag to express themselves, while others choose to join a PFLAG group, or to register as domestic partners with their beloved. Others choose to embrace the word “dyke” and march through the streets, demanding equality. Each of these actions is a slice in the diverse cake that is our community, and I don’t see how bashing any one form of expression does anything but set our collective movement back as a whole.

To those women who criticize Dyke March, I ask, “Have you ever actually attended one?” Did you know that this year’s entertainment included everything from a speech by Pat Washington, political music and spoken word from Little Miss Roxy to smooth jazz classics from Femme Fusion? Did you know that there was a children’s garden, complete with activities, to encourage queer families to feel comfortable in attending? Did you know that signs demanding marriage equality are often included in the march, or that the festival includes a “kiss-in” in order to increase visibility of the queer community? Probably not, if you’ve never shown up.

It is very easy to sit at home and criticize events taking place within the community. It is a lot harder to saddle up and actually join the planning committees, to put in the hours of hard work it takes to make these events happen. As Dyke March coordinator Emily Foster so eloquently put it, “If all the people who complained that there was no beer garden would have just gotten together sooner and planned it, perhaps we would have had one!” Well said, Emily. Unfortunately, the masses seem to show up just in time to criticize and make an early exit.

I’d like to challenge everyone to do things differently next year. If you’d like to see something happen at Dyke March, why not attend a planning meeting and suggest it? If you have questions about why the word “dyke” is embraced by some, why not show up to the event and ask people how they feel about the issue? Start a dialogue! Don’t just sit on your couch watching re-runs of “The L-Word” and wishing things were different. If we all sit at home, we give those in opposition to the queer community exactly what they want. We give them silence.

Thanks should go out to those who made up the planning committee for Dyke March: Willow, Jen and Emily for general planning; Shawna and Roxie for entertainment; and Sara, Jen and Jesse for arts and crafts/children’s garden. Additional kudos goes out to those who volunteered on the day of the event, or attended planning meetings.

AIDS Walk San Diego takes place on Sunday, Oct. 2, in Balboa Park. It’s not too late to sign up to walk in this fun-filled event! Participating in the 5K walk or 10K run is a great way to get some exercise and support the local HIV/AIDS community. For more info on AIDS Walk and how you can get involved, e-mail info@aidswalksd.org or visit the AIDS Walk Web site at www.aidswalksd.org.

The Women’s Resource Center will host OUTspoken, a poetry slam in celebration of National Coming Out Day on Oct. 11 at 7:00 p.m. The slam will have three phases: Oct. 11, kick-off; Oct. 18, semi-finals; and Oct. 25, finals and awards night. The event takes place at Diversionary Theatre. Participants include lesbian, bisexual and trans artists/performers looking for a place to voice their thoughts and opinions. If you attend T.M.I., Siren, Fusion or Brujas y Bellas, then this slam is for you! Admission is $5 per night or $10 for the entire three-day event (reduced for performers). Sign up by contacting Claudia Lucero at clucero@thecentersd.org or (619) 692-2077 ext. 206. Space is limited, so sign-up ASAP!

The next Siren Open Mic show is set for Thursday, Oct. 6, at Korova Coffee Bar (4496 Park Blvd.), and will feature So Cal songstress Joanie Mendenhall. This is a rescheduled show because I was forced to cancel last month’s performance. The Siren mission is to provide a safe space in which female artists may inspire and support one another via the expression of the creative arts. Each show includes open mic portions, as well as a 30-minute featured performance. The mic is reserved for women. All are welcome to attend and support! Sign-up for the open mic begins at 7:30 p.m.; showtime is at 8:00 p.m.! For more info, e-mail sheslams@bust.com. Siren is also planning a Hurricane Katrina benefit show for Nov. 3. If you would like to be involved, send an e-mail!

Curve returns to The Flame on Saturday, Oct. 8! Kimberly S. and Lesley Beverly make it happen again, with a return performance by L.A.’s circuit diva himself, Flava! Plus, don’t miss these details: $5 before 10:30 p.m. and $10 after, and Curve’s Smokin’ Hot Vixen Go-Go Girls. San Diego’s DJ KiKi and L.A.’s DJ Jessica Vasconez heat up the dance floor in front, with a special appearance on the tables by DJ Kimberly S. Enjoy the all new “chill area” in the back room. All this takes place at The Flame, located at 3780 Park Blvd. For more information, call the Curve hotline at (310) 497-0826, or e-mail curvesandiego@aol.com.

Down at Six Degrees, the return of football season means the return of One Dollar Breakfast on Sundays, starting at 11:00 a.m. How can you beat that? Also, don’t miss Laura Jane’s open mic, Underground, on Mondays and Drag It Out on Wednesdays! Drag It Out is a combination open-drag forum and San Diego Kings Club revue, so don’t miss the gender-bending antics. The show starts at 10:30 p.m.

Lavender Lens magazine celebrates its fourth anniversary on Saturday, Sept. 24, at Six Degrees, beginning at 7:00 p.m. Don’t miss this opportunity to swing by and tell editor Bixi B. Craig how much you appreciate having a women’s magazine in San Diego. Congratulations go out to Bixi and the rest of the Lens’ hard-working staff.

That’s it on my end for this month, ladies. If you have questions or comments, or would like to see your event listed in “Queer Abby,” just e-mail queerabby@hotmail.com. See you next month, or at Siren!