Waking up is never really a problem for me. I guess I should consider myself lucky and blessed that I don’t wake up in an ocean of sweat from the ongoing battle my body wages against this foreign invader. Of course, on waking, I have to take my first of three daily pills, which isn’t bad, considering. I take it with my supplements and whatever herbs have been cleared by my doctors, as I sit down with a cup of coffee and the various HIV magazines piled on my table.

“SUPER VIRUS is on the loose and in N.Y.!!!” read the headlines; and of course the mainstream media snaps it up, and we’re back to square one and a new breed of killer is on the loose to scare us into – what? … Never mind the fact that in seven-inch print at the bottom of the column, the “super-infected” ex meth junkie referred to is actually doing quite fine and is responding well to his treatment… as am I.

The mainstream news about HIV is absolutely contradictory. They either promote fear or promise some new treatment. Then at the end of the article, all hopes are dashed. Ink has been wasted and I am still HIV positive.

Pharmaceutical companies continue to jack up prices of lifesaving meds; and just like the skyrocketing gas prices, President Bush is doing nothing – not surprising considering that unless it has to do with weapons of mass destruction or oil fields, the president barely has the vocabulary for it.

All of this and I haven’t even finished my coffee!

I am 29 years old and I was too young to be part of the radical activism of such groups as Queer Nation and ACT-UP in the ’80s. Shouldn’t we be getting off our asses and breathing new life into these organizations during the Reign of Terror? Obviously our homeland security doesn’t give a crap. Does Bush even know who Ryan White was? Millions ride on the fact that he doesn’t.

We need to act up. Our community is still disproportionately infected and abstinence is not the answer – thanks, Big G, for that clever solution.

We need to get past this conservative political agenda that continues to marginalize us as the problem child. If our government isn’t going to help resolve the “Super Virus on the Loose,” maybe we should.

All this and I’m only on the first pill of the day.