With the holiday season upon us, we’ll see and hear a lot about the concept of family. This year, the intersection of families and the holidays provides all of us with a valuable opportunity to talk to the people we love about how important marriage equality is to LGBT families.

At The Center, we believe that when our family and friends understand the reasons ending marriage discrimination is so critical to our lives, they, too, find their way to support our need for equality.

Right now, our Marriage Equality and Education Project is working every day to educate San Diegans about the harm California families face because of marriage discrimination. Talking to our family and friends is an essential component of this effort, but we also know that these conversations can be personally difficult. While you certainly know the best ways to talk to your loved ones about this issue, we have compiled some ideas for how to start the conversation.

1. For some of us, it may be that talking about this in person is not possible or simply too difficult. So, consider sending an e-mail message that goes something like this:

Dear Friends and Family,

At the holidays, one of things I am most grateful for is that I have people I love and admire – like you – in my life. With your support, I have become someone who knows how important it is to stand up for the things I believe in. This year, one issue that is very important to me is the effort to end marriage discrimination.

In the next year, California is likely to vote on ballot measures that would not only repeal existing domestic partnership protections, but also permanently deny LGBT people the chance to marry by amending the California Constitution. I want the people I care about to know about this issue and know this type of discrimination affects me and my friends.

More importantly, I would like to continue to talk to you about this issue. If we are to have any chance at ending marriage discrimination in California, we will need help. If it is OK with you, I would like to send you information and updates regarding this struggle for equality.

If you can’t receive this information from me, please let me know. If you would like more information, let me know and we can talk. If you would like to just read more information online, here is a great place to start: www.thecentersd.org/marriageproject.asp.

Thank you, and have a wonderful holiday season!

Love,

Eddie

2. If you can talk about the issue in person, the Task Force has some great tips for how to prepare to have this conversation:

A. Don’t try to wing it! Practice will help you feel better as you speak to your family and friends.

B. Buddy up with someone else who plans to talk to their friends and/or family about this over the holiday. Call each other for moral support. You can always call Eddie Valtierra, the Marriage Equality and Education Project coordinator, at (619) 692-2077 ext. 111 for words of encouragement!

3. Before speaking about this issue, do your homework and know some of the facts. Here are some great Web sites to visit to learn more about the issue: http://equalityforall.com; www.thecentersd.org/marriageproject.asp or www.freedomtomarry.org.

Remember: Too much information can be overwhelming. It may be easiest to talk about one example of a way marriage discrimination impacts you or someone you care about directly. Something like, “Because we cannot marry, I’m unable to put my partner and our kids on my insurance plan.”

Whether or not you decide to talk to your friends and family about marriage equality this holiday season, please know that we are extremely grateful for your ongoing support of The Center’s Marriage Equality and Education Project.

The holidays are a wonderful time to get engaged!