It was a sunny, warm Los Angeles day, and I was lounging poolside in my orange swim trunks with Mary Melons and Talley Ho at Talley’s Beverly Hills mansion.

Both blonde, buxom supermodels and masters of wine were almost falling out of their bikini tops. Mary’s bikini was wedding-lace white and Talley’s was midnight noir. We were drinking Mary’s favorite champagne, Krug, and wondering where Mr. Vino was. He had been gone for over a week, and I speculated that he was doing one of his mountain retreats – meditating and, of course, drinking wine.

Talley and Mary were planning a small get-together for their Hollywood friends on Saturday night. We started to talk about the menu – and, of course, the wine – when Talley’s tall, bald and ancient English butler, Alfred, announced the arrival of Annie Amour, a wealthy international jet-setter.

I had seen the glamorous Annie on the cover of countless fashion magazines, but I was shocked when I saw her in the flesh. She had luscious, beautifully layered strawberry blonde hair, baby blue eyes and thousands of beautiful freckles kissing her perfectly tanned and shapely body. She was dressed casually in a crimson tank top and a pair of white shorts.

Annie was well known in wine circles for having one of the greatest collections of French wine this side of the Atlantic. She was a true Francophile: Her collection of French impressionist paintings, which included Monet and Renoir, rivaled most museums, and her collection of French literature included first editions of Dumas and Hugo.

Mary went over the invitation list with us, which included a few retired James Bonds, including Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan. Of course, Liz and Jacko were also invited. Of the Hollywood new guard, Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt were some of the actors who confirmed their attendance. Being a bit of a devil, Talley invited Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, both of whom RSVP’d yes. And U2 said they would play a set or two.

There was total agreement that the cuisine would be prepared by international superstar chef Kenny – heavy appetizers consisting of seafood, soft cheeses and light red meats.

However, there was disagreement when it came to the wine. I wanted burgundy, Mary wanted champagne and Talley wanted Oregon pinot noir and pinot gris.

Annie suggested wines from the Loire Valley, and her arguments were strong and clear. “No offense to you, sir, or to your beautiful ladies, but the wines you’ve suggested have been done to death at these fashionable bashes,” she said. “It is time for something different, and I think the wines from France’s Loire Valley would be an excellent choice, and would match Chef Kenny’s cuisine.

“I know I don’t have to give you folks a geography lesson,” she continued, “but the Loire is one of the most beautiful rivers, stretching over 600 miles, and the wines from there emphasize the tremendous diversity of the region, from delicate rosé and sparkling chenin blanc to sauvignon blanc. The very underrated muscadet and the aromatic cabernet franc are also wonderful, as is the smooth gamay.”

I put down my champagne, intrigued by the food and wine pairing she’d suggested. “Ladies, I have always been very fond of Vouvray. I love chenin blanc,” I said. “Vouvray is a chameleon wine. It can be fruity dry or semi-sweet and honey-like. It can be lightly sparkling or as bubbly as this wonderful Krug we’re drinking. What a great idea, Annie.” I smiled broadly, trying to win the beauty’s approval.

Mary got up and popped open another bottle of Krug. As she poured more champagne for all of us, she said in her lyrical manner: “I think that Sancerre and Pouilly-Fume are the finest sauvignon blanc produced in the world. Both wines have a crisp and generous mouth feel, a classic herbaceous texture with a light pepper flavor and distinct grapefruit with notes of minerality. Both also have great balance, and will pair perfectly with shellfish.” She smiled, looking at Annie and then at Talley in her impish manner. I knew what was coming next.

Talley got up, stretched and said: “I have always loved Chinon. The aromatics are wonderful and so fruity. I am very fond of cabernet franc – what a fun red wine. It will go great with everything Chef Kenny is serving.”

The next moment, Talley and Mary grabbed Annie, and all three girls started laughing. They threw Annie into the pool and screamed, “Supermodel in the pool!”

Then Mary and Talley jumped in. I jumped in right after – it’s not often you get to be in the pool with three supermodels. Needless to say, the party was a success.