NEW YORK (AP) – Calling Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton “a complete disappointment” because of her opposition to same-sex marriage, the director of an influential gay rights organization told associates he will not participate in a fund-raiser hosted by several of her GLBT supporters.

The controversy came as Clinton embarked on a multi-state fund-raising swing for her re-election campaign.

The refusal by the director of Empire State Pride Agenda to lend his name or raise money for the March 10 fund-raiser set marriage equality as a new benchmark for candidates seeking political support from the GLBT community.

Other gay rights advocates said Clinton has been a leader on other issues of concern to GLBT voters, and her position on marriage should not disqualify her from their support.

In an e-mail to board members last month, ESPA’s Alan Van Capelle said he still supports Clinton’s re-election, “despite her regrettable statements” on same-sex marriage and her support of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act.

But he said supporting the March 10 fund-raiser, organized by prominent GLBT Clinton supporters including New York City Council President Christine Quinn, “will actually hurt our community.”

“It will send a message to other elected officials that you can be working against us during this critical time and not suffer a negative pushback from the gay community,” Van Capelle wrote.

ESPA spokesperson Joe Tarver said the organization would have no further comment on Van Capelle’s e-mail, which was sent Feb. 10 and marked “confidential.”

But, Tarver added: “We are being overwhelmed by positive e-mails and phone calls around the country about Alan’s views on this. We think we’ve touched a nerve on something.”

Clinton opposes same-sex marriage but supports civil unions, which confer many of the same benefits to same-sex couples.

Her position mirrors that of her colleague, Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y, but puts her at odds with other prominent Democrats running statewide in New York this year. Among them is Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, a candidate for governor, who said he would support legislation legalizing same-sex marriage if elected.

Clinton also supports the Defense of Marriage Act, a 1996 federal law signed by her husband that defines marriage as “a legal union of one man and one woman as husband and wife.” She opposes a federal constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, which many gay rights advocates cite as their most pressing political concern.

“If there’s one line in the sand, it’s the federal marriage amendment, and Hillary is strongly and inalterably opposed,” said Fred Hochberg, a Clinton supporter and dean at Milano, the New School for Management and Urban Policy. “I’m trying to be very pragmatic, and when I talk to gay and lesbian people around the country, that’s the key issue.”

State Sen. Tom Duane, who is co-hosting the March 10 fund-raiser, said Clinton was a “great friend” to the GLBT community despite her opposition to same-sex marriage.

He cited her efforts to boost funding to fight crystal methamphetamine addiction in the GLBT community, and her recent votes against confirming Justices John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Duane added that he hoped Clinton would eventually shift her views on same-sex marriage.

“I would like her to support our right to get married, and I’m not giving up on the possibility of convincing her. But I’m not going out of my way to alienate her, either,” Duane said.