I was sitting outside the regal office of culinary superstar Chef Kenny. Answering the phone was the beautiful redheaded Kandi Cain, a former Miss Universe, who is engaged to Chef Kenny.

Chef Kenny is big in the culinary world. He is to food what Mozart is to music – a true legend.

But let us separate fact from fiction. There is no truth to the rumor that Chef Kenny was born with a chef’s hat on his head and a ladle in his hand. It is true, however, that at 2 years old, Chef Kenny began preparing his own gourmet baby food and started changing his own diapers. At 11 years old, he graduated from the Culinary Institute of America in New York City, the youngest person to graduate from the prestigious academy. At 16, he started Chez Suave, a very successful chain of fine-dining restaurants. After that came television shows, endorsements and his own food line. It doesn’t hurt that he’s a handsome triathlete who has modeled for the covers of at least a dozen romance novels (shirtless, of course).

I followed the wiggle of Kandi Cain into Chef Kenny’s giant office. There, behind a monstrous desk, was the master chef himself. Behind him hung a huge poster of a can of tomato soup with his handsome face on it.

Chef Kenny had an engaging smile, and he spoke softly. “Great to see you,” he greeted me. “I am so glad you made it.”

I nodded.

“I am going to incorporate wine pairing into my line of frozen and canned foods,” Chef Kenny began. “And I know you’re one of the best at matching food and wine.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“It would be great if everyone could go to Chez Suave to enjoy the fine cuisine, but I am realistic – folks like to nuke food and sit in front of the TV to eat,” he said. “So I have a full line of soups. What would you suggest for my split pea soup?” He handed me a product list.

“A couple of suggestions,” I said. “Riesling, like J. Lohr or Columbia Crest, or a good sauvignon blanc like Morgan or Mason. If you feel like going red, any Beaujolais-Village will work.”

I looked down the product list. “For your garlic chicken noodle soup, I would go with a chardonnay like Hahn or Stags Leap,” I said. “For your hearty steak and potato soup, I would suggest Eos cabernet or merlot. Or you could go zinfandel, with a Napa or Sonoma zin from Ravenswood.

“I love your tomato soup, and a fun pinot noir would work with it, like Mark West or McMurray Ranch,” I continued. “I dig your frozen pizza, too. For pepperoni and mushrooms, chianti or a Rhone red would work well. I would avoid all the white wines. Even with a four-cheese pizza, a light red will rule the day.”

Kandi took notes as I spoke. “The bistro pasta with sausage and red peppers would pair perfectly with Avalon cabernet sauvignon,” I said.

Chef Kenny stood up from his chair and moved toward me. He brought with him a plate of chicken and stuffed mushrooms.

“This is one of my favorite dishes,” he said. “It is Tuscan chicken and mushrooms stuffed with onions and parmesan cheese over vermicelli. Now match this dish without using chianti.”

I took a forkful and smiled. “I think a nice Rosso di Montalcino would be great,” I said.

Kandi got into the act and brought over a beautiful dish of paella, full of clams, shrimp, chorizo, garlic and rice. “Match this, wine guy,” she said.

“A Spanish tinto, a red wine like a crianza from Rioja – like Muga,” I responded.

Chef Kenny then brought over mussels and pasta tossed with anchovies, capers and garlic. “I think this is a good challenge for you!” he said.

I smiled and said, “I think a nice rosé or viognier would fit the bill.”

Next came Szechuan kung pao chicken. I took a bite and my mouth instantly started burning from the dried chili peppers. “I would go with something cold, tart and slightly sweet, like a German Auslese,” I choked.

“How about dessert, like Chef Kenny’s New York-style cheesecake?” Kandi asked as she brought me a slice.

“California sparkling wine would be wonderful,” I said, feeling slightly better after the kung pao chicken burn had died down, “like Gloria Ferrer brut.”

I think Chef Kenny’s idea to match his foods with wine is a great idea, even if his food is mass produced. We’re all in a hurry.