In his documentary Meth (Babalu Pictures), filmmaker Todd Ahlberg offers us an unflinching look at the truth and consequences of crystal meth use in the gay male community. Through a series of interviews with more than 10 men, some of whom have stopped using and others who still do, Ahlberg creates a chilling portrait of the cost exacted by this highly addictive, readily available central nervous system stimulant. Meth has played at numerous gay and lesbian film festivals, including OUTFEST in Los Angeles, and will be shown in San Diego on July 21 at Kung Food. Meth is an eye-opening documentary and recommended viewing. I recently spoke with Ahlberg about his film and about crystal meth.

Gay & Lesbian Times: What can you tell me about your interest in the subject matter of your documentary Meth?

Todd Ahlberg: Well, as a gay man, it’s pretty difficult not to notice how the phenomenon is impacting our community. I think we’ve all been touched by it to various degrees. How many of us have had friends vanish on us in favor of this drug? How many have seroconverted because of it? How many just can’t seem to get their lives together? So, as a gay filmmaker, it was an issue to explore.

GLT: What was your intention in making the film?

TA: Basically, I wanted to get people talking about the issue. It’s a tough issue to face to begin with – we are talking about drugs and sex, gay sex no less – so I believe the community needs all the help we can get in terms of opening the issue up for discussion to eventually, hopefully, begin to heal. I honestly believe that we, as a community, need to get honest about the issue; it’s the only way we’re going to stop the wave. Trying to police it is a joke. In the meantime, our collective voice as a community gets weaker and weaker as we turn to Tina. As an already-marginalized community, we can’t afford to let that happen any longer.

GLT: Would it be fair to say that one of the film’s functions is as a PSA (public service announcement)?

TA: Well, yes and no. Yes in terms of the fact that the film will probably cast a poor light on crystal meth for audiences. But the film was not funded with any sort of “anti-drug” money, such as PSAs are. There was also no script – it was all on the fly.

GLT: What was the process like of lining up interview subjects?

TA: I recruited gay men through a variety of means. I was astounded how many men contacted me in such a short amount of time – over 500! Through a series of progressively more probing surveys, I got the group down to around 50 men who I then interviewed via telephone. From that bunch came the ultimate cast of around a dozen guys. I was continually impressed with how much these guys were willing to open up to me. Really [an] amazing group of men.

GLT: On the subject of interviews, Judy, the mother of Andrew, one of the men featured in the documentary, is interviewed in the film. What did the inclusion of another voice mean to you for this project?

TA: I included Judy for a few reasons, but the main reason revolves around the issue of denial. I don’t want to give it all away here, but I think it’s safe to say that in just about every addict’s life there is a degree of denial brewing, and often this osmotically extends to those around him. Pretty soon, no one’s facing what’s going on, and so we just go deeper and deeper down.

GLT: Was it intentional that some of the interview subjects, such as Andrew and Ed, who were still using on a consistent basis at the time the film was being made, are made to look somewhat less sympathetic than some of the other men?

TA: Well, I certainly didn’t ask these guys to look “less sympathetic” for the camera! [laughs]. But come on, you’ve got a guy high on crystal meth talking to a camera and, subsequently, an audience who is not high on crystal meth; chances are he’s going to come off a little sketchy and disconnected from reality. After all, that’s why we do it, isn’t it? Beyond that, chances are that if someone keeps doing meth and can’t or won’t quit, life is going to become complicated, tragic even. Did we catch some of that descent in the film? Yes, we did.

GLT: Some of the men spoke of the roles played by the Internet, the gym and the circuit party scene in terms of meth usage. Would you agree that they all play a part and, if so, how would you rank them in order?

TA: This is such a mega-question [laughs] … we could go on for days. It strikes to the very heart of what we as a community prioritize. Gay men like to look good to other gay men, even women, so we pump up at the gym, inject steroids and then go to the circuit party and show it all off. We love the attention, we want to be adored. When we’re not dancing with our shirts off we’re more and more at home in front of the screen looking at perfect pics of other hot guys who want the same things we do. Meanwhile, we’re all, to some degree, ashamed of our sexuality, whether consciously or not. So there’s always a darkness to the scene of being desiring and desirable. Sex clubs are the perfect example of embracing that darkness. Anyway, into all of this we sprinkle some crystal meth and boom, we’re all about sex sex sex, and damn we’re good and life is great and we can fuck for days and who the hell cares about anything right now because I finally feel free and I’m hot and I’m adored... finally! Basically it’s a perfect storm [laughs].

GLT: The men are also very forthcoming in terms of the connection between crystal meth use and HIV transmission. Can you please comment on that?

TA: Most of us have learned by now that a good number of new HIV cases in gay men are directly related to crystal meth use. Simply, it erases inhibition, and your guard goes down. That’s the simple answer. Hopefully the guys in the film dig into it a little deeper than that. For the young guys who discover the drug, all they know is that it makes them want to have a lot of sex. They don’t have the memories us guys in [our] 40s do. They haven’t lost friends or received the messages we did when HIV was still new. As one of the young guys in the film says, “It just makes everything OK.” This said in the context of knowing he was being exposed to HIV by having unprotected sex. Then you’ve got the older set who, after years of fearing sex and living through the holocaust, are suddenly able to let all that go and have the kind of sex they’ve always wanted. Kinda hard to argue with, no? Of course, with all of this comes HIV being passed around all over again. Frankly, I think this is terrifying.

GLT: The film also makes excellent use of visual effects. I’m thinking specifically of the circuit party scenes and the sex scenes, to mention a couple.

TA: My partner, Jayson Whitmore, is also an accomplished motion graphics designer. He acted as art director on the film and did an amazing job. We referenced visuals from a few of the obvious suspects, like [the movies] Requiem for a Dream and Spun, with a little Koyaanisqatsi thrown in for good measure. Basically, we were trying to capture the “sketch” of the drug – trying to give a hint of the ride that is crystal meth. Some have told me we captured it a little too well and it brought them back. So there are potentially triggering moments there which any would-be audience member should be alerted to before any screening they go to.

GLT: Have you maintained contact with any of the interview subjects?

TA: All of them. I consider them all friends.

For more information on the San Diego screening of Meth at Kung Food on July 21, contact Tom Wall at (619) 708-7126.