“What the Republican elites really care about is making sure that as much money as possible flows into their bank accounts. To placate their base, they’re willing to make sympathetic noises about issues like abortion and gay marriage, but when push comes to shove they either don’t care very much about those issues, or, in many cases, they themselves hold liberal views on such matters. Conversely, what the Democratic elites really care about are cultural issues. They may cluck their tongues about the destruction of another labor union, but what they’re actually willing to fight for are things like liberal abortion laws and gay marriage. And, truth be told, they don’t find big tax cuts for the rich that distasteful, for reasons which are obvious when one considers that they come from the same economic class as their Republican counterparts. Hence we’ll soon be a nation in which the rich gay married couples will pay no estate taxes.”

“Newt Gingrich leaving his second wife for a House staffer 23 years younger (while at the same time railing about morals) should be forever commemorated with a diorama at the as-yet-unbuilt Smithsonian Museum of Family-Values Hypocrisy, as should the quadruply married misadventures of pill popper Rush Limbaugh.”

Assistance: Bill Kelley