Dear Michael:

My doctor told me I have to exercise. She’s pushing me to do yoga (for flexibility) and weight training (for strength). She also said some kind of meditation would be good to help lower my anxiety (I’m a chronic worrier). I know she’s right, but I just can’t get myself to start any of these things. I’ve never done yoga before and meditation sounds too weird. I used to go to a gym but I just hated it and couldn’t make myself do it so I stopped going. Can you help?

Overweight, Anxious and Stuck

Dear OA&S:

I admire a doctor like yours who suggests activities you can do to feel better rather than just writes you a prescription. Congratulations for choosing her! However, it sounds like you’re finding it hard to take her advice.

Yoga is great for flexibility of the body, and meditation helps calm the mind. If you have anxiety or tend to worry a lot (as you said you do), if you find it hard to stop thinking or overanalyzing or if you find it hard to fall asleep at night because you have racing thoughts, yoga and meditation can be very helpful. There are lots of great yoga studios all over San Diego County, and most gyms offer free yoga classes to their members.

There are many different kinds of yoga, and each has its devotees. Check them out and pick the one(s) that make you feel the best. Be picky about teachers. Some teachers are supportive and gentle; others are strict and bossy. Find one that’s a good fit for you. If you don’t really like the teacher, you probably won’t go to the class. Set yourself up to succeed.

Meditation – like yoga – comes in many varieties. There is no one type that works for everybody. As a first step, why not Google “meditation – San Diego” and see what you get. Unlike yoga, meditation in San Diego has a much lower profile. You have to work a little harder to find it. The Unitarian Universalist Church in Hillcrest (619-298-9978) has two (free) drop-in meditation groups, one on Monday nights at 7:00 p.m. and one on Wednesday mornings at 10:00 a.m. You can ask questions about different types of meditation and get “instruction” if you like. Another good place to learn meditation is through an organization that specializes in it. One such organization is the Shambhala Meditation Group of San Diego, located at 3139 University Ave. (behind Café Forte). On Friday, Sept. 29, from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. and on Saturday, Sept. 30, from 8:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. they will provide a two-day meditation instruction course for beginners. For more information, call them at (619) 437-7231.

Now, what about the good old gym? Many of my clients have stories of their “failures” at the gym. You said, “I used to go to a gym but I just hated it and couldn’t make myself do it so I stopped going.” If you were my client, I’d help you figure out what about it didn’t work for you when you went, so you can do it differently. Typical reasons for “gym failure” include: (1) you tried to do too much/too fast and were overwhelmed; (2) you tried to go after work but once you got home you were too tired to leave the house; (3) you went alone and you really needed a gym buddy for support and/or (4) you had no idea what you were doing but didn’t have a trainer to help you learn the basics.

Whatever didn’t work for you before, it’s important to get clear on it so you can do it differently this time. That is, if you really want to go. If not, then all these suggestions may be futile. Your motivation is the most important thing. Your doctor may want you to work out, meditate and do yoga, but if you don’t want to do those things then there’s a problem. Take some time to figure out what you want and how much time and effort you’re willing to invest to get it.

There’s nothing wrong with not being ready, so be honest with yourself. If it’s time to pursue this stuff because you really want to, then carry on. But, if you’re just not ready to commit to improving your health, flexibility and peace of mind, then don’t kid yourself. Tell yourself the truth and go from there. If you still feel “stuck,” consider a session or two with a psychotherapist or counselor to determine what mental stumbling blocks stand in your way.