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Lily Tomlin, Sept. 1, 1939
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Horoscope
Published Thursday, 28-Aug-2003 in issue 818
aries
March 21 – April 20
You should get in touch with your latent ambition, darling, and move forward with your plans to take over the world. You have every reason to believe in yourself. And this week you may receive some encouraging news from a mentor or authority figure. When it comes to sex in particular, you should listen to a higher authority — perhaps someone leather-clad who was born under the sign of Virgo.
taurus
April 21 – May 20
You’ve got so much going for you right now, dear one — do you even realize it? Well, listen to others when they tell you how in demand you are. Make some assertive moves in your career. Don’t let life ”just happen” to you. Butch up! That same energy serves you well in your love life, sweetie. A Pisces is floored by your roughness.
gemini
May 21 – June 21
Mars conjunct Uranus at the top of your chart puts you in a real power position career-wise. You need to decide what career to pursue, though. Think about how you can make a difference in this world. An Aquarius tunes in to the altruist and the eroticist in you.
cancer
June 22 – July 22
The moon in your house of love on Sept. 4 and 5 makes you extra-delicious to all. You don’t have to pick and choose just yet. Make this month a low-level flirtathon. See who’s still standing (and still calling) by the time autumn arrives. A Leo has staying power. Do you?
leo
July 23 – Aug.22
You are able to see life as it really is this week, Leo. How unusual! You have a certain objectivity that allows you to make good decisions for yourself and for your loved ones. A Scorpio could slip into your life and change it for the better. Accept all forms of support and affection. A friendship could turn into a sleazy sexcapade. Just don’t let your life become fodder for the tabloids, honey.
virgo
Aug. 23 – Sept. 22
The Sun, Venus, Jupiter, and your ruler, Mercury, will all be transiting your sign in September. You are in a position to make your life into exactly what you want it to be. The key is precision. Don’t be vague about your goals. Write ‘em down and prod yourself to help make ’em come true. A Cancer will help.
libra
Sept. 23 – Oct. 22
Past loves could come back into your life as several planets (including your ruler, Venus) transit your house of endings and new beginnings. Say your official goodbyes and then close those doors for good. Open up to the sincere overtures of a Taurus, who’s different from anyone you’ve ever been with.
scorpio
Oct. 23 – Nov. 21
Mars and Uranus are both retrograde and traveling together in your house of creativity. Dig up an old project that once meant a lot to you. Do some revamping. You could find gold. And do some vamping with a Pisces while you’re at it. That routine never gets old!
sagittarius
Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
Don’t even try to be objective about your relationships this week. You may want to make a permanent decision, but you’re too emotional and, well, crazy to do so. Instead, let the object of your desire make the first move. Be receptive to love and to hot sex. A Cancer understands your body’s needs better than you do. Start howling for this moon-child.
capricorn
Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
This is an intensely fun time for you, Capricorn, if you can let go and think about your love life as much as you obsess about your career. Let your sweetheart wine and dine you. Stop resisting adulation. Give up the chase and let a Virgo chase you.
aquarius
Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
It’s a wonderful time for you to strike out on your own and pursue a dream. It’s also a wonderful time for you to lure in a Leo with your charm, your sexiness, and your cute butt (so wear some something hot!). Later in the week you could get an opportunity to make a lot of money. First, you must come up with a plan. Take a chance, but make sure there’s a method to your madness.
pisces
Feb. 19 – March 20
Uranus is still stirring you up. You may want to take a trip or just a vacation from your tedious routines. Experimenting is favored now, both in your career and your love life. Don’t think; just say and do. An Aquarius may want to do you, but you may worry about the complications. It will never be easy, so take your chances and make some marvelous memories.
— Jill Dearman is the author of the best-selling Queer Astrology for Men and Queer Astrology for Women.
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