When Michael Jason Tiner went on the BRAVO reality program “Boy Meets Boy” he was looking to meet a nice guy, but he ended up getting a whole lot more than he bargained for. In the first episode of the gay dating show it was revealed that Tiner was not only gay, but also in the military.

Tiner said that casting directors for the show didn’t realize that he was in the military when they invited him to come to a videotaped interview to audition for the show. During his interview, though, Tiner spent ten minutes talking with the casting directors about his career in the military and the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

“They kept asking me if I was sure that this was something that I wanted to do and I said yes,” Tiner said in an interview with the Gay and Lesbian Times this week. “I was comfortable enough with who I was, and for a long time I have despised the ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ policy, [so] for me it seemed like a way to get some word out.”

He knew that his appearance on the show would most likely result in a discharge.

“We were surprised at first,” said casting director Larry Grimaldi, who also served as an associate producer on the reality series. “We weren’t actually looking to find someone in the military. It just didn’t even cross our minds. Our first reaction was of concern.… He actually not only knew the consequences but he informed us and educated us on it because it’s a very confusing policy and we didn’t really know what it meant.”

Despite what many believe, the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which was signed into law by President Clinton, did not make it okay for gays to be in the military. It only forced the military to stop asking potential servicemembers if they are gay during the application process. It does not allow for gays to be in the military, and in effect silences them.

“In fact I even think that James, the leading man, didn’t think I was going to get discharged,” Tiner explained. “People are blinded because they think that we can be gay and in the military, and that’s not the case. You can be gay and be in the military, but you have to hide who you are.”

In casting the show, Grimaldi said that the show’s producers were completely aware of the fact that Tiner was in the military, but their reasons for casting him had little to do with the publicity that the show is getting from his story.

“It wasn’t like the pink elephant in the room or anything,” Grimaldi said. “We knew that he was in the military and how good would that be for our show, because he is this average guy who’s in the military who can show America that gay people are very capable of doing a fantastic job in the military.… He was a very good looking, charismatic, interesting guy who not only represented a different part of gay life in the military, but he was southern, he had this great southern charm about him and he was just a perfect fit for the show. He’s got a TV personality. He’s good looking and he’s reflective of America and gay America.”

A week before the show premiered, promotional spots began airing on the BRAVO network explaining the twist of the gay dating show — that some of the potential mates were, in fact, straight. In one of those commercials Tiner is shown saying “don’t ask, don’t tell” to one of the other cast members. Members of the local chapter of the American Veterans for Equal Rights who were watching the show quickly took notice of his military status.

“In the premiere episode it said he was in the military and I thought that was pretty risky. being gay or straight in a gay-themed show,” said Ben Gomez, the vice president of the San Diego chapter of AVER. “I wondered what kind of contingency plan he had or if he had some sort of deal with the military. That night I was getting phone calls at my house from people saying, ‘Did you know about this guy.’”

A co-worker of Tiner’s saw the commercial that he appeared in and the rumor about his participation in the show quickly spread. Soon, Tiner’s senior chief told him that he was being called in to meet with the command master chief.

“I knew exactly what it was about,” Tiner said. “I went up and he asked me if I was on the show and I told him yes and he said, ‘At this point there is still a straight twist to the show so there is still a chance that you’re straight, and I am not asking you if you’re gay because that’s a violation.’”

Tiner responded, “You’re going to find out in a week anyway. I am gay and I did come out on the show so you guys can go and do whatever damage control you need to.”

Lt Commander Gary Kirchner with the Navy’s Public Affairs Office in Virginia spoke with the Times about the issue saying, “Once they found out and [Tiner] explained to them that he was homosexual that just automatically started the administrative discharge process. It’s just a matter of fact kind of thing.”

When asked if there would have been any way for Tiner to participate in the show Kirchner simply stated, “If he had been straight.”

Knowing that he would be facing a discharge from the Navy and that he was in violation of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, Tiner contacted the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network for guidance.

“They said don’t do anything that looks like it might be sexually gratifying from, like, holding someone’s hand to kissing to heavy petting, which was fine with me. I didn’t want to lower my discharge and I wanted to be a good ambassador for the Navy. I didn’t want to give them any ammunition to say that I brought discredit to the Navy.”

The SLDN even put Tiner in contact with a lawyer to guide him through the discharge process. In the discharge process Tiner waived his right to appear before a review board and he was given an honorable discharge, effective August 19, 2003, less than one month later.

Tiner has already been interviewed nationally on CNN and on “Inside Edition” and is quickly becoming a spokesperson for gays in the military.

“It’s a little exciting because I get to put the word out there from a soldier’s point of view that was affected by the ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ policy,” Tiner said. “I am getting to put mine, and hopefully the opinion of a lot of other gay servicemembers, out there. I am sure there are a lot of them that are thinking we deserve equal rights because that is what we are fighting for.

“We didn’t join the military to meet straight men,” Tiner concluded. “We didn’t join the military to take mass showers and check each other out. We joined the military to serve our country and that’s what we are doing.”