“Madonna … I just think she’s a vile, hideous, horrible human being with no redeeming qualities. There’s nothing nice about her. I’ve never heard anyone say anything nice about her at all. And anyone that’s ever met her she’s been vile to. Vile, full of herself – so unspiritual. How has this woman got away with it for so long?”

“[S]ome gay teenagers, having seen one extremely flattering press photo of me (I wish I looked like the picture on my Wikipedia page), send offers, along with pictures or links to MySpace pages. And what do I do with these e-mails? I delete them. … I have to admit to having been tempted – some of these guys are hot and, like [former U.S. Rep. Mark] Foley’s pages, above the age of consent. But it would be professional and personal suicide for me to respond to these e-mails. Imagine the shitstorm if a parent found flirtatious e-mails from the middle-aged, openly gay author of America’s sleaziest sex-advice column on their kid’s computer. And I’m just paranoid enough to suspect that some of these e-mails – particularly the ones from very young boys who attach photos that look a little pornified – are setups. Ruining Rick Santorum’s good name hasn’t exactly endeared me to the knuckle draggers on the far right.”