The holiday season is here again, conjuring up images of mistletoe, turkey dinners, Hanukah candles and colorfully wrapped gifts for most. But for members of the GLBT community who are not in strong contact with their biological families, the holiday season can trigger additional feelings of confusion, loneliness and guilt. Where do you go for Thanksgiving dinner if you’re a queer youth who has been kicked out of your home due to your sexual orientation or if you are a transgender individual who has been shunned by family and friends for beginning the transition process?

Here in San Diego, members of the GLBT community are extremely fortunate to have organizations working year round to provide effective, personalized and compassionate support for those in need. And in keeping with the spirit of the season, the Gay & Lesbian Times has checked in with a few of these unique organizations to see what makes them tick, why they do what they do and what they are most thankful for during this season of giving.

This Thanksgiving will be the first of its kind for The Center’s Youth Housing Project, which opened its doors to youth at the beginning of February.

This innovative program is one of the first of its kind in the United States, and provides 23 units of affordable, supportive housing for youth between the ages of 18 and 24, with a special focus on lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning and HIV-positive youth. Housed in the Sunburst Apartments, this groundbreaking project targets high-risk youth who are transitioning out of foster care and/or group homes, or living on the streets or in public places after having been ejected from their homes due to their sexual orientation. The program provides its residents with case management, employment services, mental health services and, most importantly, a place to call home that is not focused on serving them and getting them out the door as quickly as possible.

“At most places, youth can stay for an average of 18 months, but our average stay is closer to two and a half or three years, and we can be flexible,” said Dana Toppel, MSW, ASW, coordinator of the Youth Housing Project. “And due to the nature of our program, we have residents graduating college this year and achieving goals that would never be possible were they still homeless.”

This year, residents will also have the opportunity to experience the holidays without the stresses of living on the street. Toppel explained that for many homeless youth who are busy simply surviving, the holiday season is a luxury that often “doesn’t register.”

This year, residents living at Sunburst Apartments will have the opportunity to cook donated food with volunteers on Thanksgiving morning and share a festive afternoon meal together. For Christmas, Metropolitan Community Church of San Diego is collecting gifts and stocking stuffers for Sunburst residents, and will also provide a holiday meal the week before Christmas.

“One thing that is really amazing is that all of our residents were formerly homeless, and last Thanksgiving most were living in the canyons of San Diego,” Toppel added. “But this year, they will be having dinner together in their home, and that is really meaningful for them. Of course, I think every day they are thankful that they have their own apartment that they can turn the keys to.”

None of this would be possible if it weren’t for the vision and support of the Rev. Tony Freeman, Dr. Heather Berberet, San Diego City Councilmember Toni Atkins, Jennifer LeSar, The Center and its project collaborators: YMCA Youth and Family Services, Metropolitan Community Church, Walden Family Services and the Chadwick Center at Children’s Hospital.

The project is also extremely thankful for its community donors: 10,000 RV Sales, Inc., Blachford-Cooper Foundation, Home Depot Supply, the Imperial Court de San Diego, Keystone Communities, Inc., the McCarthy Family Foundation, the Parker Foundation, Progressive Computing, Qualcomm, Inc., San Diego LGBT Pride, Sempra Energy, U.S. Bank, Union Bank of California, Weingart-Price Fund of the San Diego Foundation and the Wells Fargo Foundation.

But despite avid community enthusiasm for the project, additional support is still needed, and the project’s wish list is a sturdy one. Of course, what else would you expect from a house full of teenagers and young adults?

Daily needs include items such as toilet paper, paper towels, hand soap, light bulbs and cleaning supplies, but other items are requested to support group activities and classes.

Questions about donations, eligibility and services may be directed to Dana Toppel at (619) 255-7854 ext. 103.

Please support the Youth Housing Project in celebrating their first holiday season in the Sunburst Apartments, as they continue to provide cutting edge and much-needed programming for LGBTQ+ youth.

Nestled in the hills of North County rest two very special homes dedicated to serving men and women disabled by HIV/AIDS – Fraternity House in Escondido and Michaelle House in Vista.

Both homes are run by Fraternity House, Inc., a nonprofit organization that has been providing loving, specialized and professional care to people with AIDS for more than18 years.

This year, Fraternity House, Inc. will be celebrating the holidays with a new executive director on board – Marie Jones-Kirk. Excited about the holiday festivities to come, Jones-Kirk took a few moments to tell the Gay & Lesbian Times exactly why she’s thankful to be part of such a unique organization.

“I am truly honored to be part of an organization that honors a person’s life and not just their illness,” Jones-Kirk said. “For all of us that are part of the Fraternity House, Inc. family – the residents, the staff, the board members, the volunteers and our donors – we are thankful that after 18 years we are still providing a place where men and women disabled by HIV/AIDS can call home.

“Our two houses become much more than a place to go to live for our residents,” she added. “And as one caregiver recently told me, she thinks of coming to work every day as going home versus having to go to work.”

This feeling of “home” can be felt immediately upon entering Fraternity House or Michaelle House. Although both homes provide round-the-clock medical care for residents (Fraternity House houses eight men and Michaelle House houses 12 women and men), they lack the lifeless, clinical energy of the average hospital. Instead, residents gather around the kitchen table for meals, take part in outings and coexist as any ordinary family would. And at holiday time, both houses are transformed into winter wonderlands, complete with Christmas trees, holiday lights, decorations and, of course, gifts for residents.

“We are really looking forward to getting our Christmas tree and getting it up,” said Brooks Ponto, house manager at Michaelle House. “To us, the tree is a really big deal, and we go all out because you never know if it could be someone’s last Christmas.”

Michaelle House will be celebrating Thanksgiving this year with a formal dinner, donated and cooked by a volunteer and her family and friends.

“The beautiful part of being part of such a unique family is that each year the traditions change depending on who is living in either of our homes at the holidays,” Jones-Kirk said. “In addition, many of our wonderful volunteers have special projects they like to do with our residents: assisting our residents with their holiday cards to their family and friends, cookie baking and decorating, ornament decorating, to name a few.”

Each year, Fraternity House, Inc. celebrates the season with a holiday open house, scheduled this year for Tuesday, Dec. 12, from 4:00 to 8:00 p.m. At this time, members of the community are encouraged to visit the house, learn about the organization and visit with residents, staff and volunteers. An elaborate spread of holiday fare is shared, the tree is lit, and everyone gives thanks for another year of serving the HIV/AIDS community.

“One thing I like to stress around the holidays is that we are here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year caring for our residents,” Jones-Kirk said. “Although we are extremely grateful for those who donate and come out to support us at holiday time, we also like to remind people that we are here doing our job every day, providing caring homes for people with AIDS. And we will continue to provide these services as long as there is a need.”

Providing these services is not an easy task, especially as funding for housing and HIV/AIDS services continues to decline. “Dream items” on Fraternity House, Inc.’s wish list include 20 new twin-sized mattresses for the homes, as well as a stereo for the Fraternity House van. Daily wish list items include: gift cards to Albertsons, Costco, Wal-Mart and Target, as well as toilet paper, paper towels, baby wipes, paper plates and napkins. And for those who cannot afford to donate items, Fraternity House, Inc. encourages community members to get involved in the organization by becoming a “buddy” to a resident or simply by volunteering to cook a meal or visit one of the homes.

“Fraternity House, Inc. residents and staff would like to thank those that help us to meet our commitment to care for those disabled by HIV/AIDS year round,” Jones-Kirk added. “We rely on their generous support to continue what we have been doing for over 18 years.”

To get more involved in Fraternity House, Inc., contact Marie Jones-Kirk at (760) 736-0292 ext. 101.

Being a transgender individual during the holiday season comes with its own set of challenges and issues.

“I think for many in our greater LGBT community, the loss of family and friends stands paramount during the holiday season,” transgender activist Connor Maddocks told the Gay & Lesbian Times via email. “So many of us have lost our spouses, children, parents and siblings along the road to becoming our true selves. Additionally, there is so much misunderstanding about transgender people that the isolation that can follow [transitioning] is very difficult.”

Maddocks is president of the San Diego chapter of Female-to-Male International (FTMI) and sits on the Steering Committee for the Transgender Advocacy and Services Center (TASC), an organization in the making designed to give referrals for health care, mental health treatment, trans-friendly businesses, legal help and more.

“Our mission is to educate the wider society about transgender issues, as well as advocate in any area we can for the trans community,” Maddocks explained.

This holiday season, the members of TASC are extremely thankful for the vote of confidence they have received from the greater San Diego community as they continue to grow as an organization.

“We are truly thankful for all the support we are receiving from the wonderful community of San Diego, from places such as The Center, Family Health Services of San Diego, California Endowment, Imperial Court and so many others,” Maddocks said. “We are additionally grateful for the wonderful support of so many individuals in our community who are always there to lend us a hand.”

This year, TASC will celebrate the season with a holiday get-together where transgender individuals, their friends and loved ones can mingle and give back to the community.

“Often we give a tree and gifts to our LGBT youth,” Maddocks added.

The organization has no fancy wish list of items they are requesting from the community. Instead: “Our wish list is to have a place where we can work with the community on any and all levels for transgender education, outreach, support and information,” Maddocks said. “Volunteers can help through donations to our projects, teaching others about who we are, and by standing up to the hate and misunderstanding against the transgender community.”

For more information about the holiday get-together or to learn more about getting involved with TASC, contact Connor Maddocks at The Center at (619) 692-2077 ext. 109.

Still not sure where you fit in this holiday season? Look no further than Hillcrest because The Center is providing everyone with a warm, inviting place to celebrate this special time of year by hosting their annual holiday party, “Come Home for the Holidays.”

Taking place on Sunday, Dec. 3, from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m., this festive affair will feature delicious food, a no-host bar and a candle-lighting ceremony.

“This event showcases the wonderful spirit of collaboration between the diverse organizations that make up our San Diego LGBT community,” said Jennifer Jones, The Center’s director of development. “We’re proud to host a celebration that welcomes everyone, and encourage all LGBT San Diegans to join us for this fun and inclusive holiday tradition.”

Each year, numerous community organizations participate in “Come Home for the Holidays.” And this year more than 30 will be in attendance.

In keeping with the holiday spirit, The Center’s event is free to all who attend. However party goers are encouraged to bring a new, unwrapped toy for the Imperial Court’s annual toy drive.

If you aren’t sure where you fit in for the holidays, The Center is a great place to start. Call (619) 692-2077 for more information.

If you’re looking for a way to give back to the community during this season of giving, why not donate your time to one of the organizations mentioned in this article, or to one of the numerous GLBT organizations working tirelessly for GLBT causes? Why not donate one or two wish list items with a friend? The holiday season is a time to be grateful for what we have and to give back to those who may still be in need. As Maya Angelou once said, “I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.”

Happy holidays!

Supplies for cooking class

Pots and pans

Cookie sheets

Gift certificates to Smart & Final and Target

A barbecue grill

Supplies for hygiene kits and cleaning kits

Toothbrushes and toothpaste

Deodorant

Shampoo and conditioner

Lotion

Laundry detergent

Dish soap

Body wash and soap

Supplies to support community dinner and group activities

$10 gift cards to Target, Ralphs, Starbucks, Old Navy and other stores to provide incentives for client’s goal achievements

Gift certificates to Subway and Papa John’s to support group activities

Gift cards to arts and crafts stores for Expressive Arts Group supplies

Supplies to support Youth Housing Project’s daily needs

Toilet paper

Paper towels

Hand soap

Reams of paper (white and color) for printing of monthly calendar and newsletter

Light bulbs

Cleaning supplies (air fresheners, Windex, Handi Wipes, toilet bowl cleaner)

Dream items

20 new twin-sized mattresses

One car stereo for the Fraternity House van

Daily needs

Grocery store gift cards

Gift cards for local stores (e.g. Wal-Mart, Target, Ross, etc.)

Coupons/gift cards to local attractions (e.g. movies, restaurants, whale watching, etc.)

Nonperishable food items

Paper goods (e.g. paper towels, toilet paper, plates, bowls and napkins)