During the past holiday weekend, I was in L.A. visiting my ex, who had just moved there and was itching to go out. So on Saturday we went bar hopping, but since I was getting over a cold, I stuck to orange juice.

If you’ve ever been sober in a bar watching everyone else in various levels of intoxication, you might feel like a scientist observing exotic monkeys. It can be fun to watch, but you can’t help overanalyze. The guys around me all seemed to be chirping away, bouncing around, waving their arms and occasionally grabbing each other: all primitive primate animal-attraction behaviors, maybe. I observed silently, sucking on a cough drop and wishing for a lemon drop, which could quickly transform me from wallflower into hot-and-horny monkey.

It’s dry weekends like these that make me sympathize with friends who refuse to go out on a given night because they don’t want to drink. “Come on,” I try to coax them with my peppiest cheerleader voice. “You don’t have to drink to have fun! Just have a Coke or a juice or something … nobody will know the difference!” But my cheers earn no touchdowns because friends who use drinking as a social crutch feel that if they don’t drink, they know the difference.

Everywhere we gay people go, bars and clubs try to lure us in with parties, porn stars or contests. Like me, you probably know of people who go to bars several times a week and spend 20 to 40 bucks each time. You probably have friends who become annoying or rude when they drink, and friends who’ve been hurt by such behavior. You probably know someone who ended a promising relationship because the other person drinks too much.

Since I don’t have the extra income, liver or brain cells for such drinking debauchery, I’ve recently made an effort to set limits. Sunday beer busts fit nicely in my plan. Ironically, the whole “beer bust” concept had repulsed me until now. Only alcoholics would spend beautiful late afternoons getting drunk on cheap beer, I thought!

I’d be surprised if there were no alcoholics at a beer bust. But in my experience, most of the guys who frequent these events drink responsibly. They’re often older and have a higher alcohol tolerance because of their age or weight. Many have learned lessons from hangovers they’ve had when they were younger. So if these guys get buzzed, they’re usually not falling over like some of the 20-somethings who close the clubs on Friday and Saturday. Plus, they have to work the next day.

At my favorite beer bust in San Diego, mini-pitchers that equal two regular beers are only five or six bucks, and mini margarita pitchers are only eight. At those prices, I don’t have to empty my pockets to get buzzed. Bars might not make a killing from beer busts or happy hours, but they can make more than if the place sits empty. And at the beer bust I go to, guys also line up to buy burgers and hot dogs.

Perhaps the best thing about beer busts or happy hours is that they’re early. So if you get sloshed, there’s plenty of time to eat, drink water and avoid a hangover. And if you hook up, there’s time to play and still get a good night’s sleep.

Now that I’m a Sunday beer bust regular, I don’t always need to go out on Friday or Saturday. If I do, I limit myself to two drinks and a midnight curfew. My friends tease me about this. “Aww, princess has to go home by midnight or she’ll turn into a pumpkin!” they’ll joke. “C’mon dude, go to Numbers or Rich’s with us! It’ll be fun!”

But I stand my ground. “Sorry, but I’m not like you lucky biatches who can sleep in all day and not feel like crap!”

But friends who tease and then still call you the next weekend are true friends. These friends will still hang with you at a bar or party if you’re drinking water or Coke. They don’t need to see you buzzed, constantly grinning and laughing at their every word to make them seem witty and popular because they know you like them anyway. And they know you don’t always need alcohol to be witty and charming as well.

If you’ve cut back on drinking too, you may have lost a few friends along the way. Maybe they stopped calling because they know you won’t always go out or maybe they think you’re dull when not buzzed. Maybe you are dull by comparison but still sharp enough to realize you’ve had enough.

Happy Holidays everyone, and drink responsibly.