Assume you are watching NBC’s “Prime Time,” where its “Operation Predator” staff has received a sexually suggestive e-mail from Congressmember Mark Foley.

Foley, believing he’s corresponding with a House page, 16, arrives at the Page Dormitory in D.C. Instead of being greeted by a boy in boxers, it’s Stone Phillips. He’s wearing a suit.

Phillips: Congressmember Foley, what are you doing here?

Foley: I came here to discuss a pending federal law with congressional staff.

Phillips: Are you referring to the 16-year-old page you were planning on meeting here tonight?

Foley: Yes. He’s helping me draft a bill to make it illegal for people to use the Internet to meet for a sexual encounter. I’m sick of all the predators and porn on the Internet.

Phillips: But, according to the instant messages you sent the page, you were really planning on coming here so you two could masturbate together.

Foley: I must have mistyped it. It was supposed to say “debate” together.

Phillips: Do you know federal law makes it punishable up to 10 years to use the Internet to solicit sex from someone under 18?

Foley: Really? Who wrote that bill?

Phillips: You did, sir. The page you corresponded with tonight was not a page.

Foley: How deceitful. Who was it?

Phillips: It was actually former House Speaker Denny Hastert pretending to be 16.

Foley: But he sent me a photo of himself wearing a high school wrestling outfit.

Phillips: That was Denny Hastert wearing a singlet when he was 16.

Foley: Oh, this is sickening.

Phillips: Because we caught you soliciting sex from someone under 18.

Foley: No, because I was masturbating to a photo of Denny Hastert. I need rehab.

The segment concludes shortly thereafter with Foley breaking down and running out the door, only to be arrested by House and D.C. police. He’s charged with violating federal law, and eventually a judge sentences him to six years in federal prison.

Well, that’s what normally happens, unless you’re a member of Congress.

The House Ethics Committee has exonerated House members from any wrongdoing with regard to Mark Foley. The report notes that Foley’s e-mail messages turned to “sexually graphic topics, including messages that could be read as sexual solicitation.”

Several House members knew of Foley’s conduct, and while one said he repeatedly told Foley to stop, apparently none did what federal and D.C. law require them to do: notify law enforcement of child abuse. There was nothing even remotely consensual about Foley’s interactions. It was harassment and abuse. Any other gay man would have been arrested, jailed and facing 10 years in prison. Getting to go to rehab for 60 days would not have been an option.

Social conservatives now claim that Republicans didn’t do anything to Foley because they knew Foley was gay and they didn’t want to be perceived as “picking on gays.” And now they’re saying the same thing about the House Ethics Committee. The Democrats don’t want to punish Foley because he’s gay.

My guess is that there are some Democrats who knew what was going on with Foley, too. They didn’t report it because they knew it would make good fodder before the election.

Some of us are rightfully pissed when people like Foley, the Rev. Ted Haggard and even former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey apologize for their illegal actions because they are gay. It’s pathetic. The GLBT community should advocate prosecuting Foley and Haggard to the fullest extent of the law.

The effort to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” may have an ally with new Defense Secretary Robert Gates. Though it was not reported in any of the media, while president at Texas A&M University, Gates signed a nondiscrimination policy prohibiting anti-gay bias. Federal and Texas law do not require such a policy.

Anti-bias policies generally prevent students attending Texas A&M from objecting to a roommate because of his or her sexual orientation. One of the military’s main objections to gays, lesbians and bisexuals serving openly in the military is the “close living quarters” men and women often share. Well, you live pretty closely in a college dorm room. Given Gates’ views on anti-gay bias at Texas A&M, he could be helpful in rescinding “DADT.” I’m not holding my breath.

In other news, baby Cheney has two mommies. I’ve often opined here that Dick and Lynn Cheney would publicly support same-sex marriage because it’s the only way all their grandchildren can be treated equally under the law. The Cheneys will have six grandchildren when Mary’s baby arrives. No grandparent can argue that the law should treat one grandchild differently than another because of the marital status or sexual orientation of the parents. Perhaps that’s why Mary planned her pregnancy so that Baby Cheney is born during her father’s term of office.