If there’s one resolution I think I can tackle this year, it’s to touch people more.

OK, get your mind out of the gutter! What I mean is hugging and touching friends on the shoulder or arm. Sounds easy, right?

Not for me. For whatever reason, I didn’t get the gay touchy-feely gene. You know: the gene that makes gay guys and girls immediately hug or kiss each time they meet. The gene that makes some of your gay friends put their hand on your shoulder or forearm when they’re teasing or sharing juicy gossip. The one that makes some of them put their arm around you when talking about you. And, of course, the gene that directs their hand to your ass – and possibly other parts.

Thankfully, other gay people lack this gene too. In fact, some guys I know would rather hug and kiss their dog than their friends. But, like it or not, being gay means it’s a rite of passage to have to return your friends’ hugs and kisses at some point.

Around the holidays, the pressure to hug and kiss is at its most intense. Even if you skip town and escape your friends’ best wishes, you face a virtual smooch-fest from family and relatives. You can hide the mistletoe, pretend you’re suffering from a highly contagious disease and claim that New Year’s Eve is “no big deal.” But whatever you do, trying to avoid certain hugs and kisses is like avoiding the guy you tricked with whose name escapes you: The re-encounter is inevitable.

Don’t think that I’m a coldhearted Grinch. When friends hug or kiss me, I dutifully reciprocate; I just rarely initiate. And kisses are hot. But potentially spreading germs is not! If someone goes for my lips, I often turn my face so they hit my cheek instead… unless I’m hot for him, of course!

I do love my friends and truly want to hug them sometimes. So what makes guys like me shy from platonic physical contact? If I had a shrink, I suppose she’d ask all sorts of questions about my childhood in order to discover the startling, deep-hidden cause. Did my parents hug me a lot as a child? “Mom did,” I’d say. And Dad? “Well, you know dads. They pretty much stop hugging you once you hit puberty.” What about my sister? “I hugged her at Christmas,” I’d recall, “especially the year she bought me a Donna Summer record.” Did I have a dog? “No, only cats, and they usually ran away when I tried to hug them.” Did I play any sports where I could hug teammates after winning a game? “Sports?” I’d laugh, waving a limp wrist for added effect. “Girrl, hell no! But I probably hugged my bowling buddies once.”

So thanks, at least, to Mom, I had no shortage of hugs growing up. Once I left the nest, however, I had to fend for myself in a macho-centric Reagan-Bush America, where the only guy-on-guy contact I saw was in sports, brawls or war movies.

After college, I lived and traveled in Asia for a few years and was surprised to see schoolgirls holding hands and teenage boys walking the streets with their arms around each other’s shoulders. To them, this was perfectly normal. Even a few adult men did these things, especially when they got drunk.

I’m not sure if Asians grow up happier than the rest of us because of their acceptance of same-sex touching, but scientists have proven that hugging and other forms of touching deliver physical benefits. My mother, who happens to be a “healing touch” teacher, tells me that it’s all about channeling energy fields called chakras.

I’m not going to vouch for chakras, but I will vouch that I feel just a little warm and fuzzy anytime I’m touched, hugged or giving a hug. For me, that’s a good enough reason to want to make others feel warm and fuzzy too.

But for people like me who are cursed with that missing gay-free-love gene, doing it is another matter. How do you touch people without making them think you’re flirting? I asked one of my touchy-feely friends for some advice. “Honey, just keep it out of the workplace and above the waistline,” he told me. “If they pull away, remove your hand and don’t go there again. If people see that you’re an equal opportunity toucher, they’ll be less likely to get the wrong impression.”

Equal opportunity touching? Hmm, sounds fun, though maybe not so easy. I can think of a few guys to whom I’d like to offer more “opportunity” than others! But all my other resolutions be damned, I’m going to make a good effort to touch, hug and receive. I hope you will too.

Happy New Year, everyone, and a big hug for each of you!