Most writing about dinner-party etiquette seems directed at the host – the person who bears the blame when guests don’t mingle well, or meal courses run late or when the bottle of carefully chosen wine turns up corked.

But let’s face it. No matter how much of a pro the host may be at entertaining, it is the dinner guests who ultimately steer the party experience with their good or bad manners.

An invitation to someone’s house for food and drink doesn’t mean you should assume the role of pampered pet – at least not until you realize a few important responsibilities that will keep you on the invitation list for future gatherings.

A simple RSVP at least two days ahead of time is only part of the equation, but a very necessary and respectful step in the right direction. Below are a few do’s and don’ts that will spare you from earning the title of “guest from hell.”

DO arrive to your dinner party with something in hand – a box of candy or bottle of wine, champagne or liqueur. Flowers are fine too, provided the bouquet isn’t some mammoth, leafy arrangement that requires the busy host to trim it down before finding a suitable vase.

DON’T show up early, which equates to an assault on your host. The rule of thumb is to be on time for sit-down dinners; 15 minutes late for buffets; and 30 minutes behind for cocktail and hors d’oeuvre affairs.

DO stay out of the kitchen when your host is cooking and plating food, unless you are asked for some emergency assistance.

DON’T arrive drunk or distressed over personal issues, for nothing wears down the social dynamic of a dinner party faster.

DO go out of your way to converse with fellow guests who may not be part of the group’s inner circle. Often it’s the thumb twiddlers who turn out to be the life of the party once you connect with them.

DON’T venture into second bathrooms or rooms with closed doors, which the host may have deemed off limits to snoopy houseguests. Basically, stick to those areas where food and drinks are served, or be prepared to come face to face with the inhabitant’s unlaundered underwear.

DO make an attempt to sample foods that you think you don’t like. One person’s recipe for chicken livers could end up tasting much better than those you gagged over at someone else’s party.

DON’T bring a food dish unless it’s a potluck – or if your host never serves anything except Hamburger Helper.

DO send a thank you card or e-mail the following day and consider returning the favor by throwing a dinner party yourself afterwards.

DON’T overstay your welcome, or exit too early for that matter. If the host mentions that he or she must work early the next day, take it as a cue to leave at a reasonable time.