Approximately 10 percent of the population is gay and that leaves the other 90 percent on the other side (or sitting on the fence).

For some gay men, the ratio of straight to gay men is a goldmine, but for others, like myself, it seems more like a gravel pit.

I can understand the goldmine potential: after we’ve slept with every other gay or openly bi guy in town, we can always venture downtown or to Pacific Beach to try to lasso up a straight guy whose curiosity (coupled with a few too many drinks) has gotten the better of him.

Or we can get our rocks off on one of the hundreds of supposedly straight play-for-pay Web sites.

But that isn’t my gold. Aside from a few hotties at the gym or the beach, I’ve never found most straight guys appealing. My problem with them is easy to summarize, but hard to solve: they just look and act too, well, straight.

With lots of flesh and wall mirrors, the gym is my favorite place to surreptitiously check out the other team. Unfortunately, most straight guys choose gym shorts that are long and baggy, making it really hard to inspect the goods. Our only hope is that shorter, tighter shorts become the next hot metrosexual trend.

The few hot, straight backsides I see at the gym barely outweigh the straight downsides. One downside is that most straight guys don’t use towels to keep their sweat off the bench pads, and they don’t put weights back in their proper places – an annoyance that I seldom deal with at the mostly gay Hillcrest gym. And in the gym restroom and public restrooms across the country, most straight guys seem incapable of not peeing on the floor or the toilet seat. I once heard that urinals weren’t invented by designers concerned about saving water, but by exasperated restroom janitors concerned about saving their collective sanity.

Straight guys do little better at home. During my many years of living with straight roommates, I got into the habit of flushing the toilet before using it, after finding surprises too often upon lifting the lid. If that wasn’t disgusting enough, I was also constantly vacuuming up my roommates’ spilled Cheetos and clearing the sink of their dishes while dodging the omnipresent roaches. I was elated when my roommates would get new girlfriends because this motivated them to clean, or risk a verbal thrashing from the ladies.

When it comes to courtesy and subtlety, I’ve noticed that most younger straight men in particular wouldn’t know those words if you spelled them out. How often have you heard them swear in public or trash-talk women, even when women are present? Straight men also take pride in belching or farting, especially around their friends. On the other hand, most women and gay men will take elaborate measures to cover up a fart or any other body smell. As such, we’re solely responsible for sustaining the potpourri and aromatherapy candle markets.

Thanks to “Queer Eye” and the metrosexual trend, some straight guys are at least looking a little better these days. But thanks to the brainwashed mass-market designers, the fashion police won’t be retiring anytime soon. I’m no Carson Kressley, but each time I hit Macy’s or Nordstrom Rack, I spot more awful clothes than at an MTV music awards ceremony. When our legislators aren’t thinking about healthcare and taxes, they need to sponsor a bill that permanently bans baggy jeans, pleated slacks, bright plaid shorts, shirts with skulls, and graffiti-decorated hoodies.

As for decorating, gay guys for the most part hold the upper hand over our straight brethren: whether it’s a yard, a room, a party tray or a hairdo, we can make it look fabulous. If it weren’t for gay men, TV viewers could be faced with the grim prospect of no HGTV, “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” “Queer Eye,” or “Project Runway.” Even Oprah’s on-air designer is gay.

I suppose in some ways it’s unfair to criticize straight men for hanging loose and letting loose, because they’ve got their fair share of stress. After all, they’ve got girlfriends or wives who constantly nag them to carry things, assemble things, fix things, and buy them clothes and jewelry.

By comparison, we gay men would seem to have relatively less stress and more money to spend on ourselves. Oh, right, some of us have significant others too… but at least we don’t pee the toilet seat.