I’m a huge germophobe, because until recently I’ve been one of those people who attracts cold germs like Paris Hilton attracts paparazzi and bad press. But unlike Paris, I’m very selective about who I kiss. When friends try to kiss me hello, I sideswipe them with a peck on the cheek. And kissing on dates can be fun, but getting laid in bed can easily turn into being laid up in bed if the other guy passes on his cold or flu.

When touching door handles, I use my shirt or jacket. At parties I never eat finger foods, because lord only knows how many other people mauled those nuts or stroked that celery stick before my fingers got there. And at the gym I wipe my face with a towel instead of my hands, plus I wash my hands right after the workout and as soon as I get home. Go ahead and call me a paranoid, but just don’t call me up whining when you’ve come down with mononucleosis after you’ve flirted with some guy in the gym by deep-throating the end of a barbell.

I’ve taken my germophobia home too. Every day I eat half a grapefruit for vitamin C, I nibble on a little raw garlic if I don’t plan on kissing anyone, and I’ve recently started oil pulling and neti pot cleansing, which both apparently started in ancient India. Oil pulling involves slowly swishing sesame oil in the mouth for at least twenty minutes before eating breakfast or drinking water in the morning. The tricky part is not talking to anyone for twenty minutes. The other week I’d made it to minute sixteen, when my roommate bounded into the room already caffeinated. “Oh my God, guess what?” he practically shouted.

I shrugged, the only thing I could do with oil in my mouth. “Another big snowstorm hit New York and Washington, and the only plane allowed to land was the President’s.”

“Mmm,” I said.

“Obama flew in from Copenhagen just as the storm hit,” my roommate went on. “You know, if there’s any plane that can successfully land in a storm, it’s Air Force One.” He paused. “Hey, are you eating peanut butter? Smells like peanut butter in here.”

“Mm-mm,” I shook my head. He waited for me to explain, so I gave up and spit. “It’s sesame oil,” I said. “It’s supposed to rid your mouth of bacteria and toxins, and it freshens your breath without mouthwash.”

“Whatever,” my roommate laughed. “Fresh if you like smelling like peanuts.”

As far as being health-conscious and a germaphobe, my roommate is the total opposite of me, and yet he almost never gets sick. The guy doesn’t dust his room, he smokes daily, he doesn’t go to the gym, and he’s the type to count ketchup as a vegetable and orange juice as a fruit. I asked him once what his secret was. “Beer and smoking,” he answered with conviction. “I think they must kill viruses.” If that’s true, but I’m not sure the risk of getting liver damage or lung cancer outweighs the occasional cold or flu, so I’ll stick to garlic and grapefruits.

My other new healthy habit this winter is sinus cleansing with a neti pot. Neti pots have been used in India for centuries, but were pretty much unknown here in the States until two years ago, when Dr. Oz showed one on Oprah. Now you can buy them in drugstores. A neti pot looks like a small teapot, except that instead of making tea with it, you fill it with lukewarm saltwater, stick the spout in your nostril, tilt your head sideways over the sink, let the saltwater slowly run out the other nostril. It can be a little messy, but it’s way less disgusting than an enema. I feel like a million bucks after I do it (the neti pot, not an enema), and so far it seems to work wonders for preventing colds and allergy attacks.

Sticking a spout up my nose, sucking on sesame oil, and eating raw garlic are not things that I ever plan to mention in my online profiles or on a first date, but so long as they keep kicking cooties to the curb, I’m going to stick with them. Because in my book, staying healthy is a lot more fun than kissing a beautiful stranger. Sorry, Paris.