Those were the words of Paul Bremer III, head of the occupation authority in Iraq, upon the capture of Saddam Hussein in an underground hole near the town of Tikrit. The first images released on television showed a very disheveled, full-bearded Saddam who looked disoriented.

With Saddam’s glamour shot, the race is on who will win the best mug shot of the year. Poor Saddam, not even the “queer eye” can do any extreme makeover on him. Front-runners for this dubious honor include Michael Jackson (who must be so relieved Saddam has taken the limelight away from him), Glen Campbell and Winona Judd. But who can forget the classic mug shots of Nick Nolte and Robert Downey Jr.?

Over 1,200 beefy men descended on Palm Springs last weekend for the annual BeefyBoyz on the Road weekend. All Worlds Resort was the host hotel and site of many of the festivities, which included social gatherings at the local bars, the “Sweat” dance on Saturday at Heaven, Sunday Beer Bust at Sidewinders and a Brunch buffet at the Rock Garden Café. Harry Lit of BeefyBoyz hosted the Santa’s Helper Saturday at the main pool area of the resort, which was a benefit for the Desert AIDS Project. And if you were a BeefyBoys tag holder or a guest at the resort, you would have been part of the exclusive all night “networking” — clothing optional!

So if you are into beefy hunks and bearish men, mark your calendar. BeefyBoys will be back in Palm Springs, usually the first weekend in December. But for now, they go into hibernation.

Rich’s San Diego was packed to the rafters as close to 500 holiday revelers flocked to the club for the annual “A Very Babette Christmas” show. And what a show it was! The biggest names in drag San Diego highlighted this two-hour non-stop extravaganza featuring all holiday songs, including those by Liza M, Bette D, and Cher. Babette was in her best element with her selections of hilarious and bawdy versions of holiday classics, matched only by her equally outrageous outfit. Chad Michaels was her usual best as Cher and Bette Davis singing “Feliz Navidad.” The fabulous Onyx flew in from Texas and Tara Dion made her debut with the show. The three anorexic LIPS girls – Tootie, Gina and Kiki — added lots of skin, high energy and pizzazz! This was my first “Babette Christmas” show and I was completely bowled over. Not only can you tell that all the performers were having so much fun, the audience was hollering and screaming their cheers, and greeting the girls with thunderous applause. The show definitely added a touch of holiday spirit in the air. If you only go to see one drag show a year, this is the one to go to. I’m still trying to get over a pregnant Babette giving birth while belting out an aria — and she gives new meaning to passing gas on stage!

Fashion took a step forward at the annual Fashion Fabulous show, held at the Diversionary Theatre as a benefit for the 10-year-old theatre. Fashion Fabulous was produced by fashionista Leonard G. Simpson, and featured local designers and boutiques. I especially liked the fur segment (Furs by Garf) and those from Studio 12/20. Models sashayed around the small stage and up the aisles, showing off the latest trends from Rooster Gear, Le Bel Age and Rare Earth Boutiques, and others. Flashbacks also presented a fun vintage segment, and Diana Caverlaro served up some whimsical, chic hats. “Does anybody still wear a hat?” Hats this pretty, I certainly would! And, being the sensible drag queen that I am, I made sure my hair was not so high as to obstruct the views of those behind me at the theatre. The male models got special attention from the audience, especially when they each came out with a greyhound on rhinestone-studded leashes. Yes, my dears, real dogs on stage. And they all behaved perfectly. The dogs, I mean. All in all, it was a fun fashion experience, and helped ensure that the lights remain bright at the Diversionary. Kudos to Producer Leonard Simpson, Director Peter Filorio, and the Diversionary Executive Director Chuck Zito.

Okay, admit it! How many of you saw the wedding of the century when ABC TV bachelorette Trista married Colorado fire hunk Ryan? Yes, I sat through three weeks of wedding specials, from the planning and the bachelor/rette parties to the actual wedding. The wedding cost ABC $3.78 million dollars, with a million dollars for the couple. I drove by The Lodge at Rancho Mirage this past weekend, site of the outdoor wedding, which was decorated with over 30,000 pink and ivory roses flown in from South America at a cost of $500,000. Trista’s Badgley Mischka gowns (one for the wedding, another for the reception) and those of her entourage apparently cost $250,000, and her Stuart Weitzman diamond encrusted (4 carat total weight) sandals were estimated to cost around $150,000. Ryan wore a Kenneth Cole black tuxedo, but he drew the line at a pink shirt. They were so sappy as they read Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s How Do I Love Thee? to each other. The reception was catered by The Lodge and featured food flown in from 14 different countries, 180 bottles of Domaine Chandon champagne, 600 bottles of wine, 1,500 pounds of chocolate and 200 pounds of seafood. The wedding cake was half chocolate (Ryan’s side) and half vanilla (Trista’s side) with pink sugar roses cascading down its multiple layers.

Surely, many a wedding after this will have pink accents, colored sand ceremonies, two gowns for the bride, and sappy personalized wedding vows. This was one event when ABC was not thinking about the poor starving people in India and Ethiopia. After all, 17 million homes tuned in to watch the wedding.

In case you didn’t know, Ryan — the fireman hunk from Colorado — is currently seen in the International Male catalog.

Recently, three high ranking retired military men came out of the closet and denounced the military’s “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Brig. Generals Keith Kerr and Virgil Richards and Rear Admiral Alan Steinman “blasted” the military ban on gays as damaging to military readiness and the recruitment and retention of service members. According to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN), nearly 10,000 have been discharged under the policy. Some of our staunchest allies, including Great Britain, Israel and Germany, allow gays to serve in the military. It is too bad that our armed forces are way behind the times and their prejudice clouds their better judgment of equality and the benefit of the country.

Jose Sarria, the first openly gay candidate for public office, celebrated his 81st birthday with friends in Palm Springs. Sarria ran for the seat of Supervisor of San Francisco in 1965 and garnered approximately seven percent of the vote, paving the way for future gays and lesbians to run for public office. Sarria, founder of the International Court System, has made numerous visits to San Diego over the past years. Asked about her secret of longevity, Sarria replied, “I started counting my age backwards many years ago.”

The good folks at Numbers are throwing a Holiday Party on Monday, Dec. 22, benefiting Something Special Food Pantry. There is a private reception from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m., but the party will be open to the public from 10:00 p.m. on, with special performances and dancing. A $5 donation is suggested at the door, so come enjoy the festivities while helping a good cause this holiday season. There will be delicious food provided by Café W.

It is not too late to chip in and bring a smile to a young child this Christmas. Alternative Strategies and FloraStyle are hosting a Toy Drive for the Polinsky Center. You are invited to drop off your unwrapped toy through Dec. 22 at FloraStyle, located at 3807 Fifth Ave. in Hillcrest.

If you think that Grinch is the only show at the Old Globe, you haven’t heard about Striking 12, featuring the talented musical group GrooveLily. Striking 12 is a retelling of the Little Match Girl and reflects on the passage into the New Year. The show is part concert, part play and storytelling, and is performed cabaret style at the Cassius Carter Theatre. The show runs till New Year’s Eve only, so call the box office at (619) 239-2255. It’s a fun show not to be missed!