Academy Award-winning filmmaker Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) is now the chosen one to shepherd Twilight teens Edward and Bella and Jacob as they enter their final on-screen chapter, Breaking Dawn. And, not missing a single lesson learned by the people who directed the three earlier films, he’s courting fans in a way that most franchise helmers don’t really have to. Of course, those other franchises tend not to have the sort of maniacal, demanding followings that the Twilight series “enjoys.” The director posted an open letter to those fans online, acknowledging his newcomer status and asking for comments and questions; and they responded in droves (Two movies please? No 3D please?). The verdict? The majority of the Twihards seem supportive. The rest are angry about Jar Jar Binks. Look for the movie sometime in 2011.

A quarter of a century ago, the novel Less Than Zero established Bret Easton Ellis as the young hipster prince of contemporary literature. Soon afterward, the disturbing, disaffected tale of amoral, drugged-up youth was turned into a strangely undisturbing movie with a strong Nancy Reagan-like anti-drug message. And any day now Ellis’s follow-up novel Imperial Bedrooms will revisit both its cast of characters – all grown up but no less spiritually empty – and the practice of sampling Elvis Costello for a title. Speaking recently at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books, Ellis alluded to Fox Searchlight as possible producers for the film version, a project he’d like to see feature the reunited actors of the 1987 film: Robert Downey Jr., Jami Gertz, Andrew McCarthy and James Spader. Great idea, but only if LL Cool J promises to re-record “Goin’ Back to Cali,” the Bangles score the rest of the film and Brad Pitt shows up as an uncredited extra like he did in the original.

The little dragon that could has given birth to another chapter, thanks to every filmmaker’s dream come true: great reviews and crazy box office. Dreamworks’ How To Train Your Dragon, from gay director Dean DeBlois and un-gay director Chris Sanders (the guys behind the sweet-natured Lilo & Stitch), has grossed nearly $400 million worldwide so far and earned the kind of nearly unanimous glowing reviews that classics (and 2011 Oscar noms) are made of. So it’s a bit of a no-brainer and not at all surprising that a sequel has just been announced. Obviously without caring hands to guide it (a plea to the powers that be: bring back DeBlois and Sanders, they know how to do this kind of thing just right) it could all turn to dull, cashing-in-focused merchandising, but until that goes down this remains great news. There’s now at least one sequel probably worth seeing on your 2013 calendar. That is, if you plan your movie-going that far in advance. Romeo does.

It was 22 years ago that seminal hip-hop group N.W.A. burst onto the music scene with their album Straight Outta Compton introducing gangsta rap to the world and shocking conservative critics with their song “F*** Tha Police.” That means a new generation doesn’t know who they are (their members included Dr. Dre, Ice Cube and Eazy-E) or what they did (they were frequently accused of inciting violence, misogyny and homophobia) and that it’s time for a biopic. Enter Straight Outta Compton, from screenwriter Andrea Berloff (World Trade Center), that will chronicle the rise and dissolution of the band thanks to money squabbles and egos, as well as the reconciliation that occurred following the death of Eazy-E to AIDS. No stars are attached yet, but Romeo will keep it real with updates.

It’s reunion time for Antonio Banderas and Lindsay Lohan. No, they’re not reuniting with each other. They were never united in the first place. But Banderas is set to re-team, after 20 years, with Pedro Almodovar, the director who helped make him a star with the international arthouse hit Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down. He’ll star in La Piel que Habito (translation: “The Skin I Live In”), a “terror film without screams” about a plastic surgeon exacting revenge on his daughter’s rapist. The film shoots this summer in Spain and will not feature Almodovar muse Penelope Cruz. Almodovar promises that it will be harsher than anything he’s ever presented his audience, though he stops short of calling it a horror film. Meanwhile Lohan is merely reuniting with the idea of actual acting work – and prepping for a different kind of skin-themed role – by starring in Inferno, an indie drama about the life of the late, legendary 1970s porn star Linda Lovelace and her rise to fame in the notorious Deep Throat. Romeo is always rooting for Lindsay, but don’t call it a comeback until every last frame is in the can.

Devoted fans of writer David Sedaris saw their movie adaptation hopes dashed when the planned 2002 film based on stories from his book Me Talk Pretty One Day fell apart in the development stage. And then they waited as nothing else came down the pipeline. But now a second project is moving forward based on the story “C.O.G” from Sedaris’s story collection Naked. The story involves a young Sedaris getting involved with a stonecutter who calls himself a “Child of God,” with the men teaming up to sell stone clocks cut into the shape of Oregon at craft fairs. Yes, odd. But that’s how you know it’s from David Sedaris. Filmmaker Kyle Patrick Alvarez, who won the Someone To Watch award at the 2010 Independent Spirit Awards for his film Easier With Practice, is at work right now adapting the story into a screenplay. Now everybody cross your fingers.

Talk about biting off more than you can chew. Cable channel Comedy Central recently announced 22 upcoming projects in its development schedule, including a show about Jesus. The most controversial before it even comes to life is, of course, JC, which will depict a disgruntled, rebellious Christ who just wants to live a normal life in New York, outside of his father’s influence (and if he moves to Brooklyn he’ll have a lot of gay hipster neighbors, which should provide plenty of laughs). Live Sex Chat seeks to update the Dr. Ruth format of the ’80s, but with more intentional comedy not involving a sweet little old lady saying “penis” every few moments; and Brian Posehn, who plays one of half of the gay stoner bear couple on The Sarah Silverman Program, will get to indulge his metalhead side with Steel Panther, a mock reality show about a vintage hair-metal band named, of course, Steel Panther. And what’s gay about that? Only everything.

The gay couple on Modern Family are finally going to kiss each other! OK, that might be a premature announcement. But it’ll probably happen. Because if it can work for Betty White’s SNL hosting prospects, it can work on a hit sitcom. By “it” we mean the public pressure put on creative decision makers at major television programs to bend to the public’s will. And it’s all thanks to some rabble rousers with a Facebook page. This time it involves the hip ABC sitcom’s gay couple who, as usual, don’t smooch. Every other romantically paired couple on the show is allowed the quick, affectionate, everyday thoughtless kiss, the kind for “Hello,” “Goodbye,” “Have a good day at work” or “I’m sorry let’s make up.” The gay characters, however, get to hug it out because, as every queer TV viewer is taught from birth, their mere existence is controversial. So why not go join the growing throng of annoyed couch potatoes and show ABC that all this Will & Grace-style foot-dragging is a relic of the 1990s? It’ll require the lifting of a very few fingers.