With my BlackBerry in hand, I clicked on a message from Kevin. A cartoon popped up showing an aisle, a couple almost out of sight at one end and a minister saying, “one step forward, three steps back, two steps sideways …,” and a seated couple on one side watching as one says to the other, “these gay weddings take so long!” Very clever, I thought.

I’ve been traveling with my spouse in the mountains of Virginia these last several weeks. And as we drive the back roads and mountains of the beautiful Blue Ridge Parkway, my BlackBerry has meandered in and out of cell phone and internet coverage areas. Mostly, it seems that I lose coverage at those riveting moments when we await the news of the hour from one court or the other. As a staunch supporter of marriage equality, I just need to know our position at every critical point in this legal process.

When I’m able to get the news, the messages come one after the other at each important juncture: the outcome of the federal case, the status of the stay, the discussion by legal experts on the issue of standing and the arguments back and forth. Messages from the Human Rights Campaign, the Victory Fund, the Courage Campaign, Equality California, and our own San Diego LGBT Center come one right after the other in an effort to update us and provide explanation on the status of our collective fates on our right to marry.

I gathered from one message that excited gay couples had started to plan their weddings for August 18th. And I learned from the all-knowing BlackBerry that some city halls and county clerks were taking appointments and their offices were preparing to stay open late to perform the weddings. Then the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals stopped the planning (two steps back, I guess). The Mercury News in San Jose provided my BlackBerry and me the news that we might again prevail due to a “lack of standing” by the anti-marriage folks in the legal fight, but that might take some months according to a George Washington University law professor. A few pro-Prop 8 supporters and attorneys also weighed in, but it seemed like our side has brought better and stronger legal points to the courtroom.

So now, what do we do?

I got the BlackBerry message and the call to action to contact the Governor and our Attorney General in California. The BlackBerry even provided the phone numbers. Somewhere along Interstate 81 at a Loves Truck Stop, I called both. It seemed fitting.

We all stay busy and continue doing everything we can as a community until we can start planning those weddings again! We make the calls to thank the courageous individuals who made the difficult decisions in the face of Prop 8. We give money to the organizations (such as the ones mentioned above) who continue to lead in this fight for our right to marry — they give us the news and provide the analysis. And most importantly, they stand watch for us while we work, vacation, and carry on with our daily lives. So we must contribute what we can.

We attend meetings to learn the legal process and get the updates, so we can explain it to our families and our non-gay friends and supporters. We show up when called to be VISIBLE and demand equality and equal protection. We fly our gay flags alongside our American flags. We stay engaged!

According to my BlackBerry, at 12:18 a.m. this morning, my friend Jason responded to Kevin’s email about the gay wedding cartoon. “There will be more forward steps than backward ones, starting now,” he noted. And then he left this postscript: “I’m extremely pleased to report that I have been retained by the Southern Poverty Law Center to co-author its amicus brief to the 9th Circuit Court.” This will be Jason’s second amicus brief to yet another court on the marriage issue.

Recently, I saw him waving a copy in the air of the first brief during our celebration at The Center on August 4th, while standing next to his spouse, Jeff. They celebrate the second anniversary this month of their legally recognized marriage in 2008. It was a joyous sight to see them standing side-by-side in celebration at our community center with hundreds of others. I was filled with pride.

As I thought of that cartoon and of Jason again this morning, I knew with confidence that we in San Diego will continue our efforts and stay engaged until we have the full rights to marry. We have been down this path on other fights. We will stay the course, so to speak, and I know in my heart that we do have standing!