The last two weeks have been full of news. The Center’s Board of Directors voted to require board members’ to undergo background checks or sign an affidavit, three city council members offices were raided by the FBI, queer soldiers returned from the war, fatboy Ruben beat out queerboy Clay as the new “American Idol,” and more shocking revelations were released in the Laci Peterson investigation. No, you are not reading the Enquirer — this is just everyday life in San Diego!

The Leather community turned out last Saturday night at the Eagle for the return of the 2003 Mr. SD Leather, Sam, and Mr. SD Deaf Leather, Juan, from the International Mr. Leather contest in Chicago. And I beg to differ from my esteemed colleague, Michael Alvear, but the leather “community” is not a fashion statement (see his “Slouching Through Gomorrah” column in last week’s issue). It is a mindset, a culture, a brotherhood, a way of living. In fact, the leather community is often the most cohesive and well-organized group within the GLBT community. But I’ll let my more butch brothers and sisters whip you silly.

My hats off to Bob Lehman, whose unwavering conviction in defense of all GLBT servicemen is without question. AVER, together with the Imperial Court de San Diego, waved rainbow flags and signs to welcome back the USS Constellation as the ship pulled into the harbor — in a strong show of support for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters in the military.

With all the leather daddies and sailorboys back in town, life is sweet again in San Diego.

Why are we a society that judges people by their weight? Just look at the recent “American Idol.” Why is it that a fat boy like Ruben can win a contest, while at the same time Vanessa got the boot? OK, OK, before you all start calling me stupid, of course talent counts, too. But women tend to get the shorter measuring tape when it comes to what is perceived as ideal weight. So let’s not blame Simon for pointing out the obvious to us. The fact is that most of our famous actors, musicians and entertainers are skinny, unless you are a man. Then in many cases for men, weight is overlooked. In this case, it was over when the fat boy sang.

I am bothered by some recent ads appearing in local gay publications, put out by The Center and Stepping Stone. I am referring to the “Crystal & Sex” and the “If Ur Tweakin” ads. Now I am no prude, nor am I oblivious to the fact that “tina” is a big problem within our community, but I feel that these ads send mixed signals. I fully understand that these are “harm reduction” ads and I also understand the message intended (my college degree is in adverting and marketing, and I have been in this business for over 15 years, which is why these ads distressed me).

In the case of “Crystal & Sex,” the copy reads, “Tina can turn the most tight-assed top into an insatiable bottom.…” This message may be misconstrued as saying that sex and drugs are a good combination. So if I am normally tight and have difficulty bottoming, maybe I should try “crystal” to loosen me up, or if I have the hots for this top, maybe if I slip him some “crystal,” he might loosen up for me. Hey, this is a good thing. NOT!

In the case of “Tweakin,” the copy reads, “If ur tweakin, b sure 2 drink fluids, eat healthy foods + get some rest.” While I understand that we cannot stop someone from taking drugs, the message could be read as saying, “It’s okay to take drugs, so long as you follow some simple rules. So keep on “tweakin” (?)

Am I a minority in being disturbed by these ads? I truly believe in the good intentions of these ads and support the work of both The Center and Stepping Stone, so I respectfully ask you to re-examine the impact and mixed messages these ads might send to less informed youth, those that are already involved with “tina,” and those that might be tempted to, but otherwise afraid. I believe that harm reduction works better on a one-to-one basis, rather than a subtle sweep in print.

In a recent GLT editorial, this paper challenged all of us to be vocal about the unacceptability of drug use. I urge all of you to speak up. “Tina” is not fashionable (it never was); in fact “tina” is a killer!

Sashay! Shante! And they did at the Miss Gay Hillcrest 2003 contest held last Sunday night at Numbers. Seven lovely contestants appeared first in casual wear, then in evening gowns and answered questions. The evening gowns were generally stunning, but the casual wear portions ranged from faux fur and a black velvet pants ensemble with a matching ankle length duster coat to a miss-matched sporting outfit. The casual wear category must have confused the hell out of the judges. In the end Ms. Justice Page reigned triumphant and won the audience over with her fun runway attitude. Empress Sybil and Imperial Crown Princess Satin, and the Imperial Court de San Diego produced the contest. Congratulations to all!

Former U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Joycelyn Elders, visited San Diego last Sunday and spoke at The Center, kicking off the second annual GLBT Health Fair, co-produced by Priority Pharmacy and The Center. Dr. Elders was both insightful and entertaining, and very gracious as she chatted personally with attendees after her talk. Stepher Potter of Priority Pharmacy estimated at least 700 guests visited over 40 exhibitors’ booths that included pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies, community health organizations, nutritional groups and even a children’s play area. Too bad, we should have had 7,000 people in attendance. This Health Fair should be as important to all of us as the Pride festival. Thanks to all for putting it on.

Surely you must have heard that cable channel Bravo will be producing a “gay” version of the TV reality show, “The Bachelor.” And rumors are that some of the eligible bachelors are straight actors/men. Eowwww! Sure some gay men may have a fixation with seducing straight boys (myself included), but come on. A straight man competing just for the money? What are the odds? Surely Bravo could do better.

For a better time, go out and get the gay PORN version of “The Bachelor.” I guarantee you’ll have a better time. Did I mention that this is my porn directorial debut? Shameless self-promotions are frowned upon by this publication!

June is commonly celebrated as Pride month in many other cities, so let me be among the first to wish you all “Happy Pride.” This is the time for all sorts of pride dances, featuring yesterday’s chart busters, parades, street fairs, film festivals and even more fundraising events. Let us dig deep once again to thank and support all our hardworking community organizations for what they do all year. This is also the time when media will be focusing on us. The Sundance Channel is showing gay programs the entire month of June, TV sitcoms will no doubt have some gay storylines, and the mainstream news media will suddenly be queer curious. Jerry Springer will no doubt put on a donkey show, featuring some tranny hooker/teacher ditching her cousin/lover for the lover’s daddy, who used to be a woman. So listen to mommy on this. As we celebrate, let us all act responsibly and wisely, because this is the time that the media will highlight the worst of us — not the best. It is up to each of us to wear our pride smartly.

Tonight and every Thursday night, strip down to your Calvins and be splashed at the ever popular “Splash Wet Underwear Contest” at Bacchus House, a great way to start your weekend this Gloomy June. Buy everyone a drink with the $125 cash prize, sponsored by All American Male Studios, and shake your booty some more as DJ Reuben spins after the show. If you can’t sing, this is your ticket to fame!

This Friday, June 6, Bourbon Street will be celebrating the Sundance Channel’s “Out Loud Gay and Lesbian Film Festival” at 8:00 p.m. There will be giveaways all night long, including $500 in Nancy Boy products, 200 Out Loud CDs and 150 Kenneth Cole discount cards.

I will be jetting off to NYC next week to celebrate part of NYC Pride. So I will be reporting from the East Coast. By the way, congratulations to Robert Gleason, elected new chair of The Center’s board, and a big hello to Big Mike — we miss you!