This past weekend, about a dozen of us from San Diego took a trip to Las Vegas to catch Celine Dion’s “A New Day” concert at Caesar’s Palace. I’ve been to Vegas many times before, but never have I stayed in a room with a mirrored ceiling over the bed and a big round elevated tub right in the bedroom. With that, I knew I was going to have a great weekend.

The trip was organized by Steve Miller, the cute blonde bachelor (he asked me to say that), with a group of friends that helped celebrate his 40ish birthday. Steve even brought his own birthday cake all the way from San Diego, a chocolate bundt cake courtesy of KFC. I am not kidding.

After a lavish buffet of Alaskan crab claws and prime rib at the Bellagio, we decided to go where most butch men dared not venture before — the “Thunder from Down Under” all male revue from Australia. Because it is first come first served seating, we had to stand in line with almost 500 screaming women gone wild, most of whom were with one bachelorette or another. Amid this anticipation of the door opening, a lesbian usher (from New York) recognized me in the line and Steve went to work on her. Needless to say, we got the best table in the house, dead smack center in front of the stage.

The show was hot, the guys were huge, the energy was high, the guys were huge, the dance routine was exciting and the guys were huge. Pretty soon, the boys were reacting like the girls, hooting and hollering, and Steve even managed to cop a cheap thrill. The show was made even more fun when they let us take pictures with the hunks after the show (for a small fee, of course) and I laid myself across the laps of three of the huge boys. The show was sexually charged, sizzling with testosterone, the dancer’s moves were masculine, and the guys were all humpy and huge. I went back to my hotel room and fantasized about the huge Aussies while staring at myself in the mirror. Yes, the one above my bed. (If you were keeping track, I did say huge six times, not counting this one).

They spent $93 million building a show palace for her, and Miss Dion delivered! Sitting in the eighth row orchestra of this magnificent Coliseum with 4,000 other fans was an experience unlike any other.

If you are a Celine fan, you will not be disappointed, because she practically sang all of her hit songs from the last 10 years. If you are not a Celine fan, you will still be bowled over by the spectacle of it all. From her opening number, “Power of Love,” to her last encore, “What a Wonderful World,” Celine belted her heart out.

With that said, I walk away with mixed reactions. Dragone, associated with Cirque du Soleil, designed the show. That would typically be a good thing, except in this case. The overdose of surrealistic fantasies amounted to overkill. And the ever-present ambiguous character (as in every Cirque show) grew annoying after the first five minutes. This could easily have been another Cirque production set to the music of Celine Dion. I thought it was over-produced, over-staged, over-amplified, and over-stuffed with gimmicks. I realized this is Las Vegas, and one person could not possibly cover the biggest stage ever built for a concert, but the entire show seemed so out of control — as if the choreographer had gone mad, pulling every trick and special effect from all of the Cirque shows. In fact, there were two shows going on at the same time on stage, the Cirque themselves and Celine. And alas, your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn away from the DIVA herself.

In fact, they suspended and floated everything you could possibly think off, including a dancer playing a grand piano, chandeliers the size of a house and a woman in a bridal outfit whose train spanned from one end of the stage to the other. (If you’ve been to Vegas, think of the floating Mardi Gras parade at the Rio casino, where they suspend the parade of floats on ceiling tracks above the entire casino floor). They floated Celine herself on wires up to the ceiling, which has to be at least 12 stories high, as she sang “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” I shudder to think how much insurance they have to take for that feat.

The time when it all seemed to work together as one was when Celine did a series of old jazzy songs, including Etta James’ “At Last,” Peggy Lee’s “Fever” and Sinatra’s “Heart on a String,” as well as her own version of Cindy Lauper’s “Drive All Night.” But the all-time best moment came when Celine came out in her only good outfit for the show (she only had four changes) and sang “My Heart Will Go On” from the movie Titanic. Not that this is a particular favorite of mine, but it was the one song that was unencumbered by all the distractions of the entire show. This number was completely focused on one diva with a great voice singing a wonderful song. And it was Celine Dion at her best!

— Congratulations to Jay Hill and the Human Dignity Foundation on yet another successful Springtime in the Park event. What fun!

— What a beautiful AIDS candlelight vigil last Sunday. We should not only remember those we have lost, but honor those who are still living with AIDS/HIV.

— Congratulations to Kyle Horton for his production of “Dream Date” two weeks ago, which raised almost $3,000 for the Something Special Food Pantry and the Dillingham Community Grant. BTW, whoever took Bourbon Street bartender David Brockwell to dinner — I want him back, please!

— Congratulations to Emperor Rafael on winning the Best Ethnic Video (for Zoot Suit) at the recent Gay Video News awards in Los Angeles. Watch out for his new video Sins of the Father — available soon!

— Don’t miss the annual Miss Gay Hillcrest 2003 Contest this coming Sunday, June 1, at Numbers, to benefit C.A.P.E. Call (619) 692-1967 to join.

— PAWS San Diego’s 10th Anniversary Fiesta will also be held Sunday, June 1, from 4:00 to 8:00 p.m., at Nuestra Casa Adobe in Escondido. Liz Taylor, Greg Louganis and Bob Barker are among celebrities who have confirmed their attendance. For tickets or more information, call (760) 214-6243

— If you missed last Wednesday’s beer tasting of Belgian import “Stella Artois” at Flicks, don’t fret. Nigel told me that they would be carrying this “fab-brew” regularly. Can you believe they sell more “Stellas” than Pepsi in the UK? I don’t make these things up.

I will be hooching it up with all the hotties at the SOS Memorial Day Weekend at Numbers, featuring two nights of Hip Hop and HINRG. Then I will be laying out in the sun in my desert chateau at All Worlds Resort in Palm Springs to watch some porn shooting. Life is tough!