The Canadian Supreme Court OKs same-sex marriage. Even the Polish Senate passed a bill granting some marriage rights to same-sex couples. But here in the good ol’ U.S. of A., violence against gay people is on the rise. What’s wrong with this picture? Former N.Y.C. police chief Bernard Kerrick withdrew his name as homeland security chief, because of his alleged “colorful” past. Will we ever find someone qualified without a scandal? There is definitely something wrong with this picture. Did you all notice that Nicole has a new picture on her column? Finally after 30 years, we get an undated, non-AOL photo. The silicon has been replaced by Botox. That picture just ain’t right!

This sure has been a busy drag out week for me. Starting with last Thursday at my wet underwear show at Bacchus House. The Canadian television crew came in to film the show and interview patrons. It was a lot of fun, and if you weren’t there, you missed a real eyeful. Ehem! Friday was my first time performing at Babette’s holiday show and let me tell you, it was a hoot! The audience was great and Martinis Above Fourth was the perfect spot for the show. Of course, they probably hate me for throwing confetti during my number. But the amazing thing was how neat our dressing room was, with five drag queens and over 25 costume changes. Saturday was Robi Cox and Dr. Greg Scott’s annual holiday party at their home, with State Senator Christine Kehoe as the guest of honor. There was lots of food, drinks were flowing, and the house was decorated with about 10,000 lights, like a giant lighted piñata. If you haven’t been introduced yet, Robi and Greg just got two new Yorkshire terriers named Gianni (after Versace) and Coco (after me), and they travel in individual Louis Vuitton bags. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be flattered or amused? Later that night, Cristina Monet and I trekked over to Rich’s for N.Y.C.’s Lady Bunny’s “Homo Holiday” show. True to Bunny’s form, she was crude and nasty – all in fun, of course! With her signature giant “Barbie on Quaaludes” look, she really went to town picking on Michael Jackson. And somewhere along the way, she brought out her toy dildo, since this was an art piece of theatre. Also in the show were Trixie, Babette and Chad Michaels. Thanks to Bart for bringing us such fab entertainers. Sunday was the Imperial Court “Toys for Kids” show at Numbers. Empress Lala was resplendent in her holiday gown. Also seen were Ben Dillingham, Todd Gloria, Kevin Tilden, Mike and Scooby (owners of Bourbon Street) and Russell Roybal, who bid on all 16 auction items. There were over 400 toys collected and brought to the show. The court has already distributed 150 toys to North County Medical Center in Encinitas, and more will be delivered to Barrio Logan, Interphase Shelter Network and ACOSIDA, Las Memorias AIDS Hospice in Tijuana. The evening also raised $1,800. Thanks to Richard, Butch and Nick (Numbers) for opening their doors. Finally, Monday night was the first annual Wreath Auction, produced by Chaz, Dale and Johnny at their new Martinis Above Fourth. There were 26 holiday wreaths donated by various businesses and individuals, including Hairspray, Z-Gallery, Green Tomato, San Diego Hoops, Karl Strauss Brewery and many others. Some wreaths include goodies like gift certificates, dinners and “educational” DVDs from All Worlds Video. There were lovely hors d’ oeuvres and tasty martinis and many great silent auction items. Center board member John Laird was chief auctioneer and the evening raised over $3,200 for The Center’s Queen Eddie Conlon Fund. And for the next two days, I’m taking a rest.

Western Christmas – The SD Chapter of the Golden State Gay Rodeo Association, in conjunction with the Imperial Court presents a night of line dancing and two-steppin’ on Friday, Dec. 17, at Kickers. Hosted by Ken Wells, Mr. S.D. Gay Rodeo, and Angel Cordero, first runner-up, the festivities include entertainment, a $5 beer bust, and raffle prizes start at 8:30 p.m. and benefit the Toys for Kids Drive.

Holiday Highball – Babette Schwartz’s last holiday show at Martinis Above Fourth is also on Friday, Dec. 17, at 9:00 p.m. The last two shows were complete sellout successes, so this is your last chance for the season. Featured guests this week are Fifi, Kiki, Cristina Monet and Chad Michaels. I had such a good time performing last week and thank you to those that came out to see me.

Santa’s Little Helpers – Join the elves as they come out to celebrate Emperor Chris Horton’s birthday on Saturday, Dec. 18, at Bacchus House. A $10 donation at the door gets you a buffet at 7:00 p.m. and a show at 8:00 p.m., and benefits the NMR Student Scholarship Fund and the Metropolitan Community Church. If there’s one thing you can be sure of at a court show, you know they’ll feed you well, and of course – the auction items!

For those of you that are in town on Thursday, Dec. 23, join me at Bacchus House for my holiday “Raining Men – Wet Underwear Contest”. My special guest will be All World’s Video porn star, Anthony Shaw, and he’s a real hottie. There’s always a $125 cash prize to the winner of the contest and we always have video giveaways, including Anthony’s videos. The best part is the $1 well drinks to help get you in a festive mood. Later, dance the night away with DJ Ruben Casas.

With all the holiday parties to go to and no one to look after “Gianni” and “Coco” poo, just call Mark Liebling at (619) 295-6792. Mark has been giving pets loving care for many years. Whether it’s walking, pet sitting or pampering, give your pet the best to offset your guilt for leaving them home.

Rich’s – L.L. Bear presents a Beary Christmas, on Saturday, Dec 18; a holiday foodraiser benefiting the Grocery Hearts food bank at Mama’s Kitchen. Rich’s will donate $1 for every person who brings two non-perishable food items. Smoked salmon and caviar goes to me. DJ Finbarr Massi, Rich’s newest resident DJ, will be spinning. $3 Buds, Bud Lights and Michelob Ultra’s all night. Over at Bourbon Street, look for the Dreamgirls Christmas Revue hosted by the outrageous Nicole, in her holiday muumuu, on Dec 23. There will also be a silent auction, also benefiting Grocery Hearts. Flicks’ New Year’s Eve is also Men’s Magazine’s 20th Anniversary Tour Across America. Special gift packages from Titan Men and chances to win fabulous prizes. L.A. DJ Kimberly S spins this Saturday at Club Montage for the Winter Party! Live performance by Gioia Bruno.

Nowhere to go on Tuesday nights? How about Pecs’ popular patio and their bear chest/leather night. You might freeze your butt off, but you’ll be in warm company! Bye for now. Email me at coco@cocolachine.com.