A very Merry ChristmaHanuKwanzakah! That’s the wish from Virgin Mobile phones in the advertising. It’s almost as hard as “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” from Mary Poppins, but more controversial. I do not believe this will ever catch on, but they certainly got our attention. So whatever holiday you may be celebrating this time of year, may it be filled with much happiness, and lots of bubbly and lots of Prada. After all, it’s ChristmaHanuKwanzakah!

Last week, my friend Robert Stadge took Rick Ford, Rafael Holguin and I to see The Glory of Christmas at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove. Now, I’m not deeply religious, nor am I a fan of Dr. Robert Schuller, the TV evangelist. But I have to admit that I was quite impressed with the architecture of the cathedral. The Phillip Johnson structure is striking with its angles and glass, and the tower is equally majestic. There are many religious sculptures on the cathedral grounds, including Moses and the burning bush. Rick’s favorite wax Jesus walking on water! We came, primarily, to see the Christmas pageant – The Glory of Christmas – that began in 1981, and what a pageant it was! Now, I’ve been to Radio City Music Hall and seen the holiday show, but that pales in comparison to this. From the expansive sets to the superb costumes, the live animals – sheep, donkeys – and Roman soldiers on horseback. But the most impressive has to be the Three Kings on camels, richly garbed in gold, red and royal blue. The pageant was set to music and dance, and tied in very well with Christmas carols. Sort of like a Christmas Mama Mia, but 10 times better. The majestic sounds from the pipe organ sent chills up my spine, but it is the flying angels that took the show to monumental heights, literally. First there was one angel flying down (on wires) from the 20-some-story-high sky, making an appearance to the Virgin Mary. Later came another angel, and then there were three. By the time the pageant reaches it’s climax with “Hark The Herald, Angels Sing”, there were eight pristine white angels flying over the entire audience. By this time I was wet with joy. If you truly enjoy theatre, this is one holiday pageant you should not miss!

Defense Secretary Rumsfeld did not deem it important enough to sign condolence letters personally. Now, he’s all over TV shaking hands in Iraq for PR. They just don’t get it in Washington! The Donald selected a San Diego apprentice – Kelly – over Jen. I do not think I could ever stand working with the argumentative and confrontational Jennifer. Eva is America’s next top model, and DeLisa Stiles, a military reservist, is “The Swan”. Jonathan should be kicked out of “The Amazing Race” for bad behavior. Am I the only one in San Diego with such a sad life? I don’t think Scott Peterson deserves the death penalty considering the circumstantial evidence. Camp Cupcake T-shirts with Martha’s inmate number are available for $12 online (visit this column at www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link). Will Phantom of the Opera follow the success of Moulin Rouge and Chicago? The governor’s race in Washington State is still undecided, and I’m still rooting for Donna Frye. It’s the will of the people. Former “Friends” writer’s assistant claims harassment at creative meetings. Get real, girl. Better yet, get a life!

Bourbon Street: DJ Taj spins at Deja. The first 500 people in the door will receive the DJ Taj/Bourbon St. 2004 CD mix. Champagne toast at midnight, hats, noisemakers and $2 Pink Drinks. The party continues the next day with Vu with DJ Brian Pfeiffer spinning.

Brass Rail: Hip-hop in the new year with DJ mxylplyx. Two-for-one entry or $4 per person before 10:00 p.m. Domestic bottled beer and drafts are $1.50, pitchers are $3, well drinks are $2. Free champagne toast and balloon drop at midnight. Party favors, munchies and more!

Numbers: Party down with Bad Kitties on New Year’s Eve!

Rich’s: Super recording artist Alyson performs LIVE, singing her hits “Feel You”, “What’re You Gonna Do?” and many more. Party favors, free champagne toast at midnight. Cash balloon drop at midnight and a late-night buffet. Doors open at 9:00 p.m.

San Diego Eagle: Blackjack Party, a New Year’s event you don’t want to miss. Play Blackjack for specials and giveaways. Toast every hour across the U.S.A. Featuring top hits of the last five decades and a champagne toast at midnight.

Club Montage: $5,000 cash drop at midnight! Need I say more? Presale tix are $10 online – visit www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link to Club Montage’s website. Doors open at 8:00 p.m., with afterhours ’til dawn.

Debbie Holiday performs LIVE in Los Angeles’ Mayan Theatre on New Year’s Eve, via Jeffrey Sanker, Brett Henricksen and Resolution. Get tix online (visit this column at www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link).

The Flame: SPIN New Year’s Eve, with DJ Jason G. Free buffet at 9:00 p.m., cash and prize giveaways, free champagne at midnight.

Bacchus House: Champagne toast, party favors, $500 balloon drop, special guest DJ. If only one could be in many places at midnight, you could make a lot of mullah!

Bacchus House has been the premiere bar in North Park for three years now! Come join the festivities as Robi and his wonderful staff celebrate this milestone on Saturday, Jan. 1. Also on hand will be special guest porn star/go-go boy Travis Lee. Bring your singles, sweeties, and have yourself a gay old time. Congratulations, you guys, and many more!

For all of you people who didn’t get enough partying on New Year’s Eve, went home alone, or don’t remember your last 12 hours in 2004, don’t forget the very popular Saturday New Year’s Day Brunch at Hamburger Mary’s, for all of those who need a Bloody Mary or mimosa to start off the new year happy. You can also party some more at Club Montage on Saturday night for their Recovery Party with DJ Bryan Pruett.

As you read this, I will be home in New York City, freezing my skinny butt off. But I do not mind; the holidays are very festive in Manhattan – the lights, the decorations, and the snow – and I will be pigging out. 2004 has been good to me. I am thankful for my friend Edith Yates, who keeps me amused and busy; Elias – the boyfriend – for bringing me hope for happiness; Gov. Kevin Newson for his guts and sense of fairness; all the GLBT military service members for their bravery on my behalf; I will remember Gwen Araujo, who was not afforded justice in life and in death; my party sisters, Toni Rose and Cristina, who always make sure I have a social life; Empress Lala Too for her elegance, hard work and friendship; my friend Sean Strub, a 20-year AIDS survivor, for his courage and inspiration; and many other people in San Diego, including my much older sister Nicole, whose picture sits right on my face in every issue of the Gay & Lesbian Times, who makes life so rich and full of meaning. I, for one, never make any New Year’s resolutions. But as I look towards 2005, I will make every effort to be a better person, more tolerant and not let small things upset me as much. As I get older, I think that I am mellower, but I intend to appreciate life every day to the fullest. Thanks for a very memorable year! Email me at coco@cocolachine.com.