Hooray for Steve Fosett, who circled the globe in 67 hours in a nonstop 23,000-mile solo flight, for his inspiring pioneering spirit and sense of adventure. My all-time favorite, The Rock, plays a gay man in Be Cool. I can’t wait to see his bubble butt in tight spandex pants. I feel so bad for Martin Scorsese – he’s a nice and talented director. I met him when I did a walk-on role in Waking Up the Dead. He’s the new Susan Lucci of the Oscars! Rooster Gear and Scrubs have closed in Hillcrest. Let’s keep our neighborhood vibrant by supporting the businesses. “NYPD Blues” and “Everybody Loves Raymond” are on their final seasons, yet “Law and Order” is spinning off its umpteenth show, “Trial by Jury”. Dan Rather is forced out of CBS, what a loss! While I understand that the letter was not authentic, it totally eclipses the fact that there may be a real story behind it. Lawyers for Michael Jackson are so smart; they submitted a long list of possible celebrity witnesses, no doubt to try to impress the jury. It was also a clever way to put the gag order on Jay Leno from making jokes about Mr. Jackson. Jay’s allowed to write the jokes, but not tell them. So he got Brad Garrett to tell the jokes instead. Now, that’s smart! Good night and thank you to playwright Arthur Miller and architect Phillip Johnson. Happy birthday to my dear friend Edith Yates.

Thank God Martha is free at last. You’ve got to hand it to the domestic diva. She bit the bullet and she smells like a rose now. She has two new TV shows, her stocks are up and she’s on her way back to the top – with her designer ankle bracelet, of course. I bet Martha is happy to sleep in her own bed, with 800-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets, I’m sure. You can’t help but be amazed that her 150-plus-acre estate in Bedford, N.Y., is larger than the entire Camp Cupcake. I’m sure there is a book and TV movie in the works. And how many felons do you know that get ferried out of prison in their own private jet? Her new TV reality show, “The Apprentice – Martha Stewart”, will surely be an instant hit. Instead of saying “You’re fired,” maybe she’ll say, “Let’s do lunch sometime, and here’s a bag of my homemade French lavender potpourri as a parting gift!”

It seems more and more celebrities are finding themselves in front of the judge. There was Martha, Wynona, Courtney and countless DUI celebs with the bad-hair-day mug shots. Michael Jackson is in a pickle, and soon we’ll know the fate of Robert Blake. Kobe just made an out-of-court settlement, while Bill Cosby is being sued for sexual harassment. It seems we Americans live in a litigation society today. Too many times, people sue each other for the flimsiest reasons, while others take this as a get-rich-quick scheme. But I think Tom Sizemore takes home the bacon for his tangle with the law. Not only is he on probation for some drug-related charges, he was also in trouble for physically abusing Heidi Fleiss. The piece de resistance has to be his alleged use of a Whizinator at a recent drug test he was required to take as part of his probation. What’s a Whizinator you ask? Not that I would know such things, but my personal research reveals that it’s a latex penis that squirts. Report has it that he filled it with someone else’s urine. What was he thinking?

The San Diego leather community is celebrating Leather Pride with five full days of events now through March 13. It is great to see many local bars participating and coming together to help raise money for Being Alive. Kicking off with the “All Club Night” on Wednesday at The Eagle, there will then be a tribute to Adam Latham, Mr. San Diego Leather 2004 on Thursday at ReBar and a slave auction on Friday at The Hole. The fest culminates with the Mr. San Diego Leather 2005 competition beginning at 6:00 p.m. sharp at The Center on Saturday. After the contest, there will be the “ResErection Dance” at Shooterz and a victory brunch the next day, Sunday, at Pecs.

Now, if you’ve never been to a leather event and this is your first time, make sure you rough up your leather gear a bit. You don’t want people to know that you just bought them the day before. And cut back a bit on the cologne – you’re not going to a Tupperware party. One more thing – don’t be late. These leather men are notoriously prompt. So stop by and smell the scent of leather. Visit this column online at www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link to the event website.

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March is shaping up to be chalk-full of events every week. I hope you made it to Family Matters’ 10th anniversary parenting conference at The Center last week. Kelli (of Rosie) O’Donnell was the special guest, and I’m so in love with her.

Other than Leather Pride week, check out the following fun events:

Jackie O is hosting the sixth annual Mark Huntley Easter Bunny Show on Sunday, March 13, at Five Star Hall, located at 4201 El Cajon Blvd. There will be an all-star drag show, dessert, auction and a raffle. Bring a stuffed bunny, Easter basket or $6 donation to the door.

This leads up to the third annual GLBT Community Children’s Easter Egg Hunt, produced by the Imperial Court, at 2:00 p.m. on Easter Sunday, March 27, at Trolley Barn Park. Over 300 children between the ages of 2 and 14 participated in last year’s hunt, so donations are being accepted. Contact Linda Childers at (619) 303-2384 or drop off your new stuffed bunny or filled Easter baskets to The Center.

March 17 is St. Patty’s Day and every bar in town will be celebrating. Over at Martinis Above Fourth, they’re serving corned beef and cabbage and “green” drinks. Sue Palmer and her jazz band will entertain.

I’m hosting my weekly “It’s Raining Men” wet underwear contest at Bacchus House at 11:00 p.m., so if you’re Irish, I’d especially like for you to get wet with me. Well, not literally, because a wet drag queen is not a pretty sight. But I promise to wear my green thong.

Jeffrey Sanker’s 15th annual White Party comes to the Palm Springs Convention Center, with DJs Manny Lehman and Kimberly S. There are many pre and after parties scheduled, and if you haven’t made your hotel reservations yet, start scrambling or you’ll be staying at a Motel 6 in Hemet. Me, I’m shacking up at the All Worlds Resort and lusting after all the hot guys. While there, make sure you go by Wang’s in the Desert for great pan-Asian food and the hottest clientele in the desert. Visit this column online at www.gaylesbiantimes.com for more info about the White Party.

Rich’s Go-Go Fridays is one hot spot. There’s no cover with a military ID or local gym card and $2.75 wells drinks all night long. I wonder if they will accept the label from my SlimFast shakes. Also at Rich’s, the highly popular L.L. Bear presents “Spring Thaw” on Saturday, March 19. L.L. stands for Levi and Leather, not “lovely in lace” in case you’re wondering.

It’s “Game Day” at Bourbon Street every Sunday with my butch sister Ophelia hosting, and a barbecue at 4:00 p.m. Meet the ball chasers from the San Diego American Flag Football League and America’s Finest Cities Softball League. I don’t usually do daylight appearances, but for these guys, I will put on my cheerleader outfit. But I draw the line on flat tennis shoes.

Email your thoughts or comments to coco@cocolachine.com.