Pope Benedict XVI refers to me, and most of you readers, as “intrinsic moral evil.” Do you think they’ll stop accepting donations from evil people like us? Here at home, gas prices are shooting through the roof, the deficit is at an all-time high, our economy is a mess, our national security remains a big concern and the budget for Iraq will soon surpass the $300 billion mark. If only this administration would earmark half of that to cancer, Alzheimer’s, AIDS and other health research. Many more lives would be saved, rather than lost. And with the real possibility that a Supreme Court seat will become available this summer, this is cause for concern. A lot can happen in three-and-a-half years. The defense team is expected to begin their case for Michael Jackson next week. Much has been said about the reputation of the mother of the accuser. I hope the jury keeps in mind that she is not the one on trial. If Michael did molest the child, do not punish the victim because of the sins of the mother. Mayor Dick Murphy resigned and Nicole assured me he’s not running. Whew! Britney Spears is having a baby. Who cares! Britney Spears is having a reality TV show. Who cares! Other than the fabulous outfits she wears by Marc Bouwer, Britney is probably the most famous pop star with no talent. There, I said it! For now, leave Martha alone

Some of you martini connoisseurs may frequent Martinis Above Fourth to enjoy their over 50 martini concoctions. I heard Ophelia is going on number 42. In fact, they just added a new mix, the Cristina Monet, which is their dirtiest martini of all and uses the cheapest brand of alcohol. But unlike Cristina, only the brand is cheap – the taste is real smooth.

I, for one, go for the ambiance (so cliché), the really cool crowd and the food. I starved myself for days and went in for a tasting of their new spring menu. The starters menu didn’t change much, but they have four new green salad selections. They did update their calamari and artichoke with a touch of balsamic and a red onion sour cream, which was really good. For entrées, they kept the blue cheese-stuffed filet mignon and brought out some entirely new fare. After debating between the Cajun mushroom beef rib chop and the roasted shallots beef tenderloin tips, I went for the bones. The expertly-grilled rib eye was a very generous portion and was topped with sautéed mushrooms and Cajun butter. This was served with horseradish-Gruyere scalloped potatoes and steamed asparagus. There are three fish dishes to choose from – peppercorn Gouda Pacific king salmon, grilled swordfish with harissa sauce and the halibut – and I settled on the last. The halibut was excellent – light, flaky, moist – with a delicate brandy-peach cream sauce accompanied by yellow lentils. Now, lentils rank right up there with polenta as a least favorite of mine. But this lentil was cooked with shitake and Chardonnay, and was quite flavorful, except that the chef got a little carried away with the salt that night. I also tried the chicken and shrimp with homemade lemon pepper späetzle in a garlic-wine sauce. The jumbo shrimp was done just right and the broth was divine. If you like späetzle, you’ll like this dish. This was all in one sitting, with a little doggie bag to go. Next time, I’m trying out the sake-marinated pork chops and the grilled Australian rack of lamb with tequila-cilantro demi-glace. If you prefer light dining, they also offer Entrée Jardiniere – grilled portabella mushrooms and chayote, golden beet tofu au gratin and sliced beefsteak tomatoes. I was so stuffed (I wouldn’t say that to a Brit) that I skipped desert, which is unusual. Go check out Martinis’ new spring menu!

The title alone got me curious enough to want to go see this play at the Adams Avenue Studio of the Arts. I’m sure half the men arrived that night hoping to see naked guys, and they were not disappointed. Starring adult video star Parker Williams, this show tossed in everything from sex, love and relationships to the requisite nudity. While this play will not win a Pulitzer, what it offers is an evening of lighthearted entertainment. And Parker Williams, as the stripper of course, was a delight. He was not only good to look at; he can even deliver lines. Who knew? When I last saw him on videos, I wasn’t paying attention to the dialogue. The ensemble cast all put in a good performance in this very intimate theater. The show now runs ’til May 8.

Producer Caryn Horowitz and director/playwright Ronnie Larsen have made an art, and created an empire, out of this genre. With the fail-proof combination of catchy titles that have key words like “Porn,” “Naked” and “Strippers,” some kind of storyline and throwing a porn star into the mix (like Jeff Stryker, Matthew Rush and other “crossover actors”), plays like My Boyfriend the Stripper, Making Porn and 10 Naked Men will be around long after you and I are gone.

Another show to look forward to at the Adams Avenue Studio of the Arts starting on May 14, without the nudity, is Mack & Mabel, directed by Bob Korbett. Broadway musical aficionados will remember Robert Preston and a very young Bernadette Peters, and tunes like “Time Heals Everything,” “Wherever He Ain’t” and my favorite, “Hundreds and Hundreds of Girls.” This is the 30th anniversary of Mack & Mabel, which premiered in San Diego and comes from a long list of great musicals by composer Jerry Herman, such as Hello Dolly, Mame and La Cage aux Folles. Call (619) 584-3593 for tickets or visit www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link to Adams Avenue Studio of the Arts’ website.

“Broadway” – a benefit show for Special Delivery – is coming to the Sherwood Auditorium at the Museum of Contemporary Arts in La Jolla. The show will feature musical showstoppers, including “One” (A Chorus Line), “All That Jazz” (Chicago) and “I Am What I Am” (La Cage), all performed by local talents. A group of us “girls,” including Lala Too, Regina Styles, Ophelia, Cristina and others, will lend our beauty to one of the numbers. Every penny raised from the show goes directly to Special Delivery, where Ruth and her crew do an amazing job of delivering meals to people living with AIDS. Call (619) 297-7373 for tickets.

While on the subject of music, the San Diego Men’s Chorus presents “Life is a Cabaret,” an evening of jazz, pop and Broadway standards, taking place at The Center on Saturday and Sunday, May 7-8, beginning at 7:30 p.m., as a kickoff to their 20th year. Tickets are available online – visit this column at www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link. They will also be available at the door, if space permits.

After 35 years the owner is retiring, and House of Stapleton is having a HUGE closing sale! There are hundreds of pieces of Louis XVI, Empire and Regency, style antiques and fine furniture all priced to clear. So don’t wait! Visit the House of Stapleton located on the top floor of the Horton Plaza Mall, or call them at (619) 239-1707.

The Center’s Positive Action program is hosting their second annual POZ Seminar Weekend May 13-14 at The Center. This year’s theme “Living with HIV: Making It Work” will focus on the work environment, addressing topics such as returning to work, adjusting work with diagnosis and retiring with HIV. The seminar will be geared toward the newly diagnosed, as well as those already living with HIV. It will include workshops on finding HIV information online, a multimedia “telling our stories” presentation, updates on the latest HIV medications and drug assistance programs, and will provide a central place to access HIV resources in San Diego County. Call Carolyn Hunt at The Center at (619) 692-2077 ext. 133, or visit this column online at www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link to the Positive Action website.

With so many new developments in San Diego, here’s one good deal to definitely check out. CityScape, a new residential project located on 22nd Street between A and B streets (1233 22nd St.) in Golden Hill, is a collection of two-bedroom/two-bath homes, most of which have incredible downtown and bay views. It is a gated community with all the custom upgrades you can imagine. Contact CityScape for more information, at (858) 692-7587.

The Brass Rail: Tuesday nights are Laundry Night. Strip down to you underwear and enjoy all sorts of drink specials all night long. There is no cover and a free clothes check. But don’t expect them to come back to you starched and pressed. Also at The Rail, Big Mike now rules on Wednesday nights at Big Mike’s Joint, with all sorts of drink specials all night long. No cover.

Rich’s: Saturday, April 30, is Reach, a mix of soulful house music! Look for Club Papi’s return on May 7.

Bacchus House – Spectrum, an OHM event, takes place every Saturday and features DJ Kiki and guests for a night of funk, flavor and a little something for everyone. And coming soon – afterhours!