Description: Boxed macaroni and cheese contains “certified” organic durum wheat pasta and “real” white cheddar. Front label distinguished by terminally cute bunny rabbit. Packaging made from 100 percent-recycled paper. Product is manufactured and distributed by Annie’s Homegrown in Massachusetts.

Preparation summary: Boil macaroni in six quarts of water for 8-10 minutes, then while draining in colander, heat milk, butter and powdered cheese in same pot before reintroducing the cooked pasta.

Highpoints: Artificial, bright-orange cheese color joyfully missing. Text on box promotes organic eating and green living to keep the planet healthy. And the white cheddar is supposedly derived from cows that are treated nicely.

Lowpoints: Stubborn ear-shaped pasta shells take longer to cook than expected. White cheese sauce tastes dainty, but perks up with a few gratings of Parmesan. Company’s advocacy for becoming one with Mother Earth too preachy if you’re a forester or fan of Kraft.

Retail Price: $1.79

Availability: Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, Henry’s, Vons

Description: Pre-cooked, wood-smoked bacon produced by Hormel Foods LLC for Kirkland Signature. Ziplock package contains 48-50 thick-cut slices arranged in four flat layers.

Preparation summary: Heat several slices on plate or paper towel in microwave for 45 to 60 seconds. Package also provides heating instructions for griddle, broiler and conventional ovens, which require an additional 1 to 2 minutes.

Highpoints: A bacon lover’s dream when heated in the microwave. Non-messy strips come out wrinkle-free and taste freshly fried. Unused portions keep for a few weeks when bag is properly resealed. Friends and family easily dazzled by lightening-speed BLTs. Super-size package gives rise to the claim; “I’m bringing home the bacon.”

Lowpoints: Easy preparation may result in lawless consumption. Product puts Southern California waistlines under serious attack.

Retail Price: $9.99

Availability: Costco

Description: Boxed brownie mix made with Dutch cocoa and chocolate chips. Distributed and sold exclusively by Trader Joe’s.

Preparation summary: Different from most brownie recipes that require vegetable oil. Instead, a four-ounce stick of melted butter and two eggs are whisked together before adding in the dry mix to create the batter. Brownies cook in about 25 minutes in a 350-degree oven.

Highpoints: Rivals most other commercial brownie products in terms of flavor and texture. Gourmet quality keeps critics of lesbian potlucks at bay; prompts gay twinks to overeat.

Lowpoints: Unflattering brown stains on upper lip hard to remove after mauling the mixing spoon.

Retail Price: $2.29

Availability: All Trader Joe’s locations

Description: From the recently introduced line of frozen “Spa Cuisine” by Stouffer’s, the single-serving meal contains about five small tenderloins (breast meat) in a lemongrass-coconut sauce, along with brown rice and veggies.

Preparation summary: Cut slit in plastic cover and place tray in microwave oven for 3 to 4 1/2 minutes on high. Let stand 1-2 minutes before consuming.

Highpoints: Temporarily staves off cravings for authentic Thai food. Flavorful sweet-and-spicy brown sauce adds palatable quality to the accompanying medley of anesthetized vegetables.

Lowpoints: What’s the harm in tossing in two more globules of chicken? Scant portion serves as a warning to pack luggage with chips and donuts before checking into day spas.

Retail Price: $4.19

Availability: Most major grocery stores