It’s a real shame that Gov. Jeb Bush is on a crusade against Michael Schiavo. Instead of admitting his mistakes and his overbearing abuse of his office, he’s now on a witch hunt to try to pin Terri’s death on Michael. His unmoving attitude is as bad as Condoleezza’s hair. VH1 is the season’s new gay men’s network, with two shows featuring hot guys. Of course, one is more stupid than the other. Jerry Hall’s “Kept” has men learning how to be a worldly, kept man. The premise is as silly as its title. “Strip Search” is a little more fun, as hunky guys compete for seven positions in a Chippendale-type strip team that will perform in Las Vegas. Congratulations to City Commissioner Julia Legaspi, who will be honored at the GLBT Community Tribute Banquet this Sunday at the Westin Horton Plaza. So OK, Michael Jackson joins the elite group of celebrity defendants who beat the rap, including OJ and Robert Blake. But I’m a patient man; I’m just waiting for him to slip and give another interview. His ego is too big for his own good. Congratulations to Big Mike and all the other Pride grand marshals on their selection for this year’s parade. Are you as sick as I am of Tom Cruise jumping all over the place and screaming about his new love to everyone who has a mic and a camera? It’s overkill and rather boring. He reminds me of Howard Dean during the primaries. YEAH! So my Loser of the Week is a toss-up between Jeb and Tom. Happy anniversary, EQ – I miss you!

Bacchus House owner Robi Cox is turning the big 40 with a huge celebration on Tuesday, June 28, at 8:00 p.m. at Bacchus House. The three oldest performing drag queens, Nicole, Franceska and Coco, are planning a fun celebration for his mostess. And for once, this is not a benefit, just good time with friends. But what do you get a man who has everything, including a plastic surgeon boyfriend – Dr. Gregg Scott? I know he likes his Gianni, Dolce and Vuitton – and I don’t mean the knock-offs. Come and toast Robi on this milestone, ’cause life really does begin at 40.

Priority Pharmacy, Flicks and ROK are teaming up for The Green Party, a benefit for Ordinary Miracles, on Saturday, June 25, at 7:00 p.m. at Flicks. The suggested donation of $10 at the door gets you your first appletini and great food. Pop a balloon to win cash and prizes. And if you love your green drink, it’s only $3 all night long. Ordinary Miracles is staging a major comeback, and has had quite a few fun events this year. I hope nobody comes in a green outfit – once a year during St. Patty’s is plenty for me.

Korbett Kompany Productions will be holding auditions for its upcoming production of Mambo Italiano, a play by Steve Gallucio, at the Adams Avenue Studio of the Arts on Sunday, July 11, from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m., and on Monday, July 12, from 5:30 to 7:00 p.m. Mambo Italiano is the story of Gino and Maria Barbiere, who emigrated from Italy to Montreal in the ’50s. Their simple life is thrown into upheaval when their son, Angelo, decides to move out of his parents’ house and in with his new cop boyfriend, Nino. Mambo Italiano is hysterically funny and deeply moving, exploring the subtleties and complexities of this quintessential Italian family – a family straddling the cultures, traditions, and mores of the old and new worlds. It’s sort of the gay My Big Fat Greek Wedding – Italian style. To audition, call (619) 584-3593. Mambo Italiano will run at the Adams Avenue Studio of the Arts from Aug. 26 to Sept. 19.

This is the season for gay pageants, and the next biggie is the Miss Gay Stars & Stripes USA 2005. Contestants will be judged in state costume, talent and evening gown. I will be hosting this contest with Empress Lala Too on Saturday, July 9, at 6:00 p.m. at Bacchus House. A $10 donation goes to the Queen Eddie Youth Fund. There will also be good old American food, a 50/50 raffle, an auction and fun entertainment. The winner will receive a trophy, crown and sash. To enter, call Lala at (619) 794-2777. Oops! Watch out for that baton.

All Worlds Video is launching its brand new, in-house, hardcore video-on-demand on their Web site (visit this column at www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link). There are no memberships, no monthly fees and no commitment. Just clear, sharp picture quality and hundreds of exclusive new releases to choose from. And for my readers only, you can get $5 worth of free video by using coupon code CC0605. Pick a scene or watch the entire movie – the choice is yours. And it’s real easy; even computer dumbbells like me can figure it out. But you gotta hurry – this offer expires at midnight on Thursday, June 30.

Powerhouse Productions celebrates San Diego Pride with four major parties all weekend featuring the fiercest DJs from the party circuit, starting on Friday, July 29, with the Pride Ball with DJ Phil B aboard the Lord Hornblower – a dance cruise at 10:00 p.m. around the harbor. Circuit Daze takes place on Saturday, July 30, with DJ Tony Moran at the Sports Arena at 10:00 p.m. The Zoo Party on Sunday, July 31, with DJ Manny Lehman at the San Diego Zoo begins at 4:00 p.m., and caps off with Fete Accompli with DJ Abel at 4th & B from 11:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.

Limited VIP tix are available for all four parties, and a two-day festival pass is available for $175. Call (619) 220-2137 for tix, or pick them up at Rainbow Road.

Bacchus House is bringing in the big guns on Saturdays with world-renowned DJ Wayne G. (of Heaven in London) on Saturday, July 2, and DJ David Knapp from New York on July 16.

Rich’s has DJ Bryan Pruett this Saturday, and don’t forget Salvation with DJ Barry Harris is also on Saturday, July 2.

Over at The Flame on Fridays, DJ Niknotiq takes the front room, and DJ Taj takes the back room. I’ll be very happy in the middle. And on Friday, July 1, at The Flame, DJ Kimberly S. will be cranking out the sounds.

Saturdays at Numbers also has two dance floors and two DJs.

The Brass Rail is always jumping on Saturday nights with Noche Latino Americano. Me, I just sit quietly in the girl’s corner with my daddy, Keith, behind the bar. The new barback, David, is also quite humpy with a beautiful backside.

It’s Underwear Party at The Eagle this Saturday, with the contest at 10:00 p.m. and judging at 12:00 midnight. The winner gets $50.