Just as atmosphere and presentation directly affect how our taste buds respond to food, the type of service we receive at restaurants can make or break a meal even quicker. That $20 puck of perfectly seared foie gras, if served with attitude, can be about as memorable as a slice of Spam. Or the sweet tooth you reserved for after dinner could vanish into thin air if a server waits too long to show you the dessert tray.

The Gay & Lesbian Times caught up with Jerome Astolfi, a young, experienced sommelier and restaurant expert from France, who takes the subject of wait service very seriously. Here in San Diego, he’ll be responsible for training nearly 100 service staff at Jack’s La Jolla, a three-level property with various dining venues and cocktail lounges, slated to open in August.

Astolfi earned a bachelor’s degree in international business and attended culinary school in France before moving to the U.S. six years ago. He obtained his sommelier degree in London and managed a French bistro in New York City. As manager of Jack’s, he shares his wisdom about the state of restaurant service in San Diego.

Gay & Lesbian Times: What makes for an outstanding server?

Jerome Astolfi: Attention to details. When I was a server in France, and had a table with a child, I would cut the child’s meat so that the parents could enjoy the dinner, too. A good waiter should be able to read the table and anticipate when the customer will need a water refill, condiment, napkin, etc.

GLT: How has the American model for wait service changed over the years?

JA: Overall the service isn’t any better or worse compared to Europe. The only difference is that in Europe, people actually go to school to become waiters. Here, many of them train on the job about the food and wine.

GLT: Where would you say San Diego ranks on the national score card for restaurant service?

JA: Average at best. In places like San Francisco, I have no problem spending $200 for dinners, [as] opposed to here, where the service is sometimes lacking and very inconsistent.

GLT: What are some of the biggest service problems you see occurring in our city’s moderately priced restaurants?

JA: The service is way too casual. I don’t want to be called “boy” or “guy” by my server. Also, there’s a general lack of knowledge about the food. Or about the wine, you’re simply told that it’s “good” or it’s “fruity.” These are the types of things I blame on the restaurant owners.

GLT: Do you find that many restaurant owners understaff their dining rooms?

JA: Yes, they really do, just to save on labor costs. Yet when you pay someone only $6 an hour, what are you really saving by understaffing? You’re basically ruining your service.

GLT: Should servers be expected to possess a thorough knowledge of wine?

JA: Yes – no question about it.

GLT: What are your feelings about servers who bring too much sunshine to the table with their profuse friendliness?

JA: It’s a no-no in my book. I think servers should be very discrete and make sure your experience is satisfactory. Most customers are looking for reliable service – not someone to socialize with and make a new friend.

GLT: Who should customers complain to when they receive horrible service? And is it appropriate to leave little or no tip in the end?

JA: They should complain to the manager and not be afraid to do it. I feel it’s wrong when a head server tries takes care of the issue. I’m generally a pretty big tipper, but have no problem leaving no tip if the server is arrogant and ruins my experience. But if my food comes out cold or takes too long, I’ll still tip because waiters really have no control over that.

GLT: Name three restaurants in town that you feel present extraordinary service.

JA: Pamplemousse Grille in Del Mar, Mille Fleurs in Rancho Santa Fe and Region in Hillcrest, which, even though it’s casual, has very efficient service.