Mustard is good for digestion. Bananas before bedtime aren’t. McDonald’s hamburgers contain worm meat and spoil quickly. But Hostess Twinkies carry an indefinite shelf life.

Wives’ tales and urban legends have long surrounded the foods we eat, and though usually false, they raise hopes and fears among non-objective consumers and bring amusement to those who see through absurdity more sharply (though it isn’t because they’re oversupplying themselves with carrots).

The fast-food industry takes a particular beating, with rumors spread often by junk-food police or those with a peeve against big business. While the grade of hamburger meat found at McDonald’s puts a dark spot on the imagination, the claim that worms and cow eyeballs are being used as “fillers” is scuttlebutt. And certainly if Burger King sprayed their french fries with supposed ethyl alcohol rather than plain-old salt and cheap vegetable oil, we’d all be resting in our graves wearing paper crowns.

Below is a compendium of culinary myths and truths that jump from our families and households directly onto the streets before making their way sometimes into the mass media.

The color of the plastic tags used to seal bread bags indicates what days the loaves were baked. Most grocery stores and manufacturers indeed use a tracking system that adheres to a color-coded, six-day baking week. Monday is blue; Tuesday is green; Thursday is red; Friday is white and Saturday is yellow. The colors, you’ll notice, run in alphabetical order respectively to the workweek.

Holding a wooden matchstick between your teeth when peeling onions prevents tearing. The theory states that sulfur on the match tip mysteriously sucks up all the onion fumes. I tried it twice and it didn’t work. Still, the best antidote is to cut onions that are submerged in a pot of water.

Certain red food colorings are made from ground beetles. If you see cochineal or carmine listed in the ingredients on that bottle of cherry soda or package of fruit candy, the colorants derive from a tropical beetle that inhabits a type of cactus known as opuntia. They also provide the deep-red shades to fruit juices, gelatins and shampoos.

Chocolate milk is made from “regular” milk contaminated with cow’s blood. It’s been a widespread and historical belief that yucky things lurk in dark-colored foods. The Food and Drug Administration has established stringent standards for all milk destined for consumers, including the chocolate variety. The agency’s specifications contain no allowances for the use of blood-contaminated milk.

Eating celery results in negative calories. With about six calories per eight-inch stalk, the typical adult human expends more caloric energy consuming this fibrous vegetable than what it has to offer. But it is the bodily energy devoted to digestion that burns away calories – not the chewing process.

Mountain Dew will shrink a man’s testicles and lower his sperm count. The rumor, which has been circulating for years, stems from a presumption that large doses of Yellow No. 5 dye conflicts with male sterility. The Food and Drug administration has long deemed the additive as safe, although various nutritionists have cited mild allergic reactions from sensitive consumers.

Swimming within one hour after eating will result in stomach cramps and cause you to sink like a brick. Sadly, kids today are still ordered by their parents to stay out of the water after eating hotdogs and birthday cakes. In 1961 exercise physiologist Arthur Steinhaus took a position against the claim in the Journal of Health, Physical Education, and Recreation. It’s since been debunked by numerous health professionals, who say that cramps are more likely a result of over-exertion.