Spain and Canada have finally legalized gay marriage; here in the great U.S. of A., we may not even have civil unions left by the time Bush steps down. San Diego Pride is coming; hide those gawd-awful spandex rainbow shorts. Justice O’Connor is retiring from the Supreme Court; let us pray. Congratulations to Robert Gleason and Marc Matys on the coming of their newborn son! The baby shower invite I got also asked for the wackiest Robert and Marc pictures to remind them of what life will no longer be. Bush’s approval rating for his handling of Iraq is way down; if you do not agree with his policy, you’re labeled un-American. The mayoral election is coming; you can’t bitch if you don’t vote.

Things have been pretty hectic the last two weeks, starting off with the GLBT Community Tribute Banquet for City Commissioner Julia “Jhigs” Legaspi at the Westin Horton Plaza. It was truly a lovely evening, and most of Jhigs’ family and friends wore traditional Filipino outfits – “terno” for the ladies and “barong tagalog” for the gentlemen. The only letdown of the evening was the half-cooked rice at dinner, especially for a ballroom full of Asians. The Filipino string orchestra was outstanding, and there were many well-deserved words of praise for Jhigs. Noticeably absent was the mayor, but I’m sure he had a “previous engagement”!

A couple of days later, there was a birthday party for Robi Cox at (where else?) Bacchus House, and this one was not a fundraiser. So no speeches, no silent auction, no admission charge, just good food and a fun time! There was a small drag show hosted by three old queens – Nicole, Franceska and myself. And although Robi is going with the “official” 40th birthday, at least that’s the story he’s sticking with, I’ll be checking his mail to see if AARP is offering him a membership.

Last Wednesday, Cristina Monet and I scooted over to Martinis Above Fourth for dinner. Because it was a warm day and we were both exhausted, we opted for a variety of appetizers. Being such proper ladies, Cristina had a Manhattan and I opted for a zinfandel spritzer. I know it’s so suburban, but it was the perfect drink for me that night. Martinis’ menu has also gone through a summer update. Between the two of us that night, we sampled the Louisiana Seafood Chowder, the Sesame Chicken Spring Rolls, Carpaccio, Teriyaki Beef Kebobs, a Caesar salad and Fried Balsamic Calamari. Whoever said drag queens don’t eat has never met us two.

On Saturday I braved the 104-degree weather and ventured out to Palm Springs for the day. All Worlds Resort was hopping with good-looking guys in various stages of undress, and being frisky. With the misters working overtime, no one seemed to care about the heat as they enjoyed the barbecue, lemonade and watermelons. I stayed indoors mostly and enjoyed the view. When I got back to San Diego I had to stop by Phil’s BBQ, for what would the Fourth be like without ribs?

Having survived the heat of Palm Springs, a group of us girls – including Jhigs and Toni Rose – trekked it over to Las Vegas. But we skipped the “Priscilla” pose atop the bus and opted for the cool comfort of a Ford suburban. Packing a cooler full of Diet Coke and Red Bull, we gossiped for five hours, then checked into the Las Vegas Hilton – home of Wayne Newton and Barry Manilow. We barely made it in time to catch Johnny Mathis in concert (Barry is on vacation). Jhigs and I relived our childhood days as Johnny sang old standards like “Chances Are,” “Misty,” “It’s Not For Me to Say” and “Twelve of Never.” Mr. Mathis is 70 years old, so the crowd was much older than the two of us. And despite the fact that he hobbles a little bit and has difficulty hitting and sustaining some of the high notes, he packed the 1,600-seat auditorium. It was nice to watch a legend perform.

The next day, on July 4, we had a buffet brunch at the new Wynn Casino. After waiting in line for an hour and a half, we were seated and determined to make up for it by gorging on king crab legs and prime rib. The casino has many high-end shops and boast of a Matisse exhibit. The décor is a mix of Moroccan whimsy and lots of glass tile mosaic, with sorbet mango and lime as the main color palette. Later that night we watched a gigantic fireworks display amidst the balmy desert sky.

When you see candidate’s posters going up at local bars and shops, coronation must be coming. Coronation XXXIV “A Military Ball” is scheduled for the weekend of Aug. 6 at the ballroom of the Westin Horton Plaza. This year’s ball will be produced by Mr. Rick Ford, and he’s bringing back the elegance of a dinner charity/coronation ball. Emperor Chris Horton and Empress Lala Too will be welcoming out-of-town royalties from all over the United States, Mexico and Canada, who will be in town to celebrate Chris and Lala’s phenomenal year as monarchs of the Imperial Court de San Diego. There are many ball-related events planned for coronation weekend, including the “Mr. Nude San Diego” contest at the 2200 Club on Thursday, Aug. 4, and the “Out-of-Town” show featuring performers from visiting courts on Friday, Aug. 5, at Bacchus House. For a complete list of coronation events and ball information, visit this column online at www.gaylesbiantimes.com for a link to the coronation Web site.

Tickets to the ball are $65, including dinner, and may be obtained by calling Empress Toni at (619) 523-9500 ext. 14. A limited number of VIP tables are also available for $750 (tables of 10). Tickets must be purchased in advance and will not be available at the door. It’s time to take out the family jewels from the vault, tease that wig as high as it can go and bring out those size-12 pumps, ’cause at coronation time, when in doubt, you must overdo!

The Imperial Court is quite busy as the XXXIII Reign comes to a close in a month. This Saturday, July 9, is the “Miss Gay Stars & Stripes U.S.A. 2005” pageant at 6:00 p.m. at Bacchus House. Contestants will be judged on state costume, talent and evening gown; all in hopes of taking home a crown, a sash and a trophy. I will be hosting the contest with Empress Lala Too. The pageant will benefit the Queen Eddie Fund.

The next evening, Sunday, July 10, is the selection of the “Mr., Miss and Ms. Pride 2005” contest, held at 8:00 p.m. at Numbers. Winners will be judged solely on their answers to the question: “What GLBT Pride means to me.” The event is a benefit for the Equality California Institute.

In between contests, stop by Soup or Salad and check out their new, weekly cold soup for the summer. Pair it up with a fresh tossed salad – with the ingredients of your choice – while you enjoy the artwork of Sam Frazier, who is the featured artist at the gallery space. Soup or Salad is located at 4646 Park Blvd.

For something different, catch the comedy hypnosis show “Hypno EFX,” featuring Michael Swenson, on Tuesday, July 12, at Bacchus House. This total audience participation show promises to be fun and full of laughs. I’m planning to bring Nicole with me to see if Michael can make Nicole talk less under hypnosis. But I’m not sure if Nicole qualifies, because he has to be willing and meet the minimum IQ of 60. Maybe I’ll bring a dozen tamales as incentive. The show repeats on Aug. 16.

Make a special date with saloon singer and crooner David Patrone on Sunday, July 24, at Martinis Above Fourth at 7:00 p.m. Patrone is San Diego’s premiere jazz vocalist and has been nominated numerous times for the San Diego Music Awards. So if you like Sinatra, Martin, Cole or Chet Baker, settle in with your favorite martini (I hear the Coco LaChine martini is especially good) and enjoy this immense talent.