In case you’re interested, this is my 69th column. Yep! I didn’t think so, so we’ll just move along. This was a fairly slow news week for me. I was away both weekends so didn’t get to do much in town. The Gay Softball Worlds Series is over, and gone are over 3,000 athletes – and boy, are they a happy bunch. One guy even asked me where he could score some “party favors.” He said, “Wherever we go, I always ask the drag queens, ’cause they always know!” It took me a few seconds to figure out why he was asking me for party hats and noisemakers. Then it dawned on me that he wanted an illegal substance. I gave him the “Asian” eye and raised my right brow as high as it could go, then said, “Not this drag queen! Enjoy our wonderful city,” smiled sweetly and walked away. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to waste my time feeling insulted, or feel sorry for the little twerp. However, I decided I wasn’t going to let one stupid a—hole speak for the rest of the wonderful guests we had that weekend. Let me tell you about Giorgio from Italy – he said he was with the league as well. But I didn’t care; he convinced me by the way he swung his bat. “Ya’ll come back, ya hear!”

It was so hot in Palm Springs last week I spent most of my time indoors. I did have a good view of the naked boys by the pool, though. So during the day, I went out shopping. And since this is off-season in PS, there were no huge crowds to deal with. I always make it a point to visit The Alley, which is like a Pier 1/Bombay Store warehouse kind of store. You’ll find anything from furniture from Indonesia, Emeril’s cookbook and garlic press to silk scarves, candles and framed mirrors from Mexico. Also on Palm Canyon is a gift store that used to be a Hillcrest favorite – Tchotkes. This mega store is a haven for collectors of decorative items – from crystal obelisks to Erte figurines. They also have a large collection of Asian reproductions. Go say hello to the boys, and I guarantee you will not walk out of the store empty handed.

Being off-season, many businesses are also closed, including restaurants. But thank God there’s always Wang’s in the Desert, Blame it on Midnight and Uptown Grill. In fact, the boys at Wang’s have opened a new Italian restaurant, Boscoso (located at 707 North Palm Canyon), which is superb. There is also a fairly new piano bar/bistro called Look, which is on 139 East Andreas, between Palm and Indian Canyon (by the Hyatt). They have a lovely patio, and even with 100-degree heat, it was so very pleasant with the misters on. It’s off on a side street but it’s worth looking for. They’re currently doing some minor renovation and will re-open Labor Day weekend.

By the way, if you haven’t made your reservations, what are you waiting for? There is always the All Worlds Resort, Las Palmas, The Villa, Camp Palms Springs, Chaps Inn, Villa Mykonos and Century, among others. Look for their reservations number in this magazine and in Rocket.

This time I do not mean the weather. The annual Gay Erotic Expo was back at the Staples Center in Los Angeles this past weekend, and it was like visiting a sex convention. Well, it is! The funny part though was that the Seventh Day Adventists were also at the convention center. And no, lightning did not strike. What did strike white hot were the hunky porn stars on hand to greet the throngs of porn admirers. All Worlds Video was well represented by Chad Savage and Stetson Gable (both exclusives), and Brad Benton and Rob Barry. Also exhibiting were Raging Stallion Studios, who had San Diegan porn-star-turned-director Parker Williams and a very hot French star with the dick of death. How did I know, you ask? He showed it to me, and several thousand others. I was so mesmerized that I didn’t bother asking his name, but I have pictures to prove it (Sorry, can’t show it in this magazine). There was another new studio exhibiting with a few rather cute twinks, but sadly two of them were so trashed they passed out and had to be “hidden away.” So I won’t even mention them.

Former New York drag diva, now terrorizing Los Angeles, Jackie Beat hosted three short shows on stage each day, egging on the “straight” boys from a straight college boys Web site to show it all. And they did. They even kissed, which prompted Jackie to quip that these boys couldn’t be straight, much less in college (which drew a big roar from the audience).

There were quite a few folks from San Diego who came to the Expo, but I shall leave their names out. Brendan from Martin & Wall brought a truckload of men’s wear from his boutique on University Avenue, and it was a huge success. He must have sold more sexy underwear and great club gear from Rufskin than he did in a month. The next Gay Erotic Expo happens Oct. 9-10 in New York City.

Korbett Kompany Productions has teamed up with Zio’s Italian Cuisine (2121 Adams Ave.) for a dinner theater package for their new production of Mambo Italiano for only $35 per person. The early bird dinner menu will include an antipasto, entrée, dessert and a glass of wine. And if you are a group of at least 10, it’s only $20 for an Italian buffet at the theater space an hour before curtain time.

Mambo Italiano, by Richard Galuccio, is a fast-paced comedy and poignant drama about Angelo, who tells his very traditional Italian immigrant parents, Maria and Gino, that he is gay. Hurt, betrayed and mortified by Angelo’s coming out, his lover Nino’s widowed Italian mother, Lina, goes into an operatic barrage of melodrama and hysterical excess so profound it makes even Angelo’s shocked parents pause and re-examine their own outrageous response. Angelo emerges from the drama with his newfound pride intact, while Nino retreats even further into the darkness of his bisexual closet. Sound like someone you know?

Mambo Italiano runs at the Adams Avenue Studio of the Arts from Sept. 9 to Sept. 25 on weekends. Ticket reservations (with or without dinner) may be made by calling (619) 584-3593.

Ortega’s Mexican Bistro, which recently won San Diego Magazine’s “Best of the Best” restaurant award, is expanding its space to Rainbow Road’s old space. I heard Rainbow Road is moving to the mezzanine floor on Fourth Avenue, just below Martinis Above Fourth. The San Diego Abbey has closed, and a new international cuisine café, Talus, will be opening soon. Will let you know more about these soon.

There is a new group forming at the Family Health Center of San Diego called Momentum, and they’re having a gathering called “Queer House Rock” on Monday, Aug. 29, at 7:00 p.m. at the Joyce Beers Community Center in Hillcrest (by Ralphs) highlighting the lives of gay men 25-35. It will be an evening of info sharing, games, prizes and refreshments. Call (619) 515-2454 for more information.

Labor Day weekend is coming up, and Rich’s hosts Salvation on Saturday, Sept. 3, with the legendary San Francisco DJ Phil B. Then on Sunday, Sept. 4, Rich’s has its annual summer party, Splashguard, with DJ Derek.