It’s Oscar time! The golden statuette with the bald head is something to watch for. Will Hollywood make a statement and say it’s OK to be gay, or will it succumb to neo-con threats and end up with safer nods? No offense to Ms. Witherspoon, but Felicity Huffman in TransAmerica is far superior, in my mind. And heaven forbid that we get Heath Ledger or Phillip Seymour Hoffman as well. I will be attending the annual Oscar soiree that my friend Edith is famous for. You should invite friends over to watch the show, or sip a few Coco LaChine martinis at Martinis Above Fourth’s Oscar Party. Then we should all meet up at the Hillcrest sign and celebrate if this actually happens.

I’ve been suffering from the seasonal flu and have been holed up at home watching the Winter Olympics. Did anyone notice the resemblance between Heath Ledger and Bode Miller? And snowboarder Shaun White is the long lost twin of Carrot Top. I love Johnny Weir’s flamboyant candidness, though it’s probably bitten him in the butt. I guess he must have realized that all that glitters is not gold! Hah, couldn’t resist that. How about Lindsey Jacobellis finding out that “it ain’t over ’til you cross the finish line”? I have to say that it’s sometimes confusing when you can’t tell if it’s ice dancing or “Dancing with the Stars,” because they have awfully similarly risqué costumes. I have to admit a new fondness for speed skating, and will offer to be the mother of Chad Hedrick’s child, or his love slave, just for the sheer pleasure of his big thigh wrapped around my slim waist. And what better way to spend a cold Sunday afternoon than watching Joe Polo bent over sweeping the ice? Any man handy with a broom is high on my list. But the best thing about the Winter Olympics is the new word I learn every day. Word of the day: halfpipe. Tomorrow: triple salchow!

The fifth annual Hillcrest Mardi Gras is shaping up to be another blockbuster event on Fat Tuesday, Feb. 28, rain or shine, from 6:00 to 11:00 p.m. on University Avenue (between First and Fourth avenues). The streets will start closing at 9:00 a.m., so do not park where you might be towed. The fabulous Tootie and The Lips Girls, the voluptuous Candye Kane, Cash’d Out, The Monicas Show and Il Circo will provide entertainment, and DJ Taj will rule the dance stage with hot go-go boys from All Worlds Video. Advance tickets are available at Obelisk Bookstore, Hamburger Mary’s and OutMall. Hillcrest Mardi Gras is the next best thing to N’awlins.

Every bar in San Diego will have plenty of beads to give away. Over at Bourbon Street, the weeklong festivities started last night with bingo. On Sunday, Ashley Matte performs, and there will be bead tosses every night!

At Bacchus House, DJ Jon Williams spins this Saturday, Feb. 25, ’til 4:00 a.m. And on Tuesday, right after Hillcrest Mardi Gras, Bacchus House is giving away passes to Failure to Launch, the new movie with Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey, and will be serving $4 Skyy martinis.

Martinis Above Fourth will be serving up Cajun entrée specials and drinks.

No matter where you end up, please drink responsibly and choose a designated driver ahead of time.

Or should I say, all you gypsies, tramps and thieves! The Gay Men’s Chorus of San Diego, under the artistic direction of Gary Holt, will present their spring concert, entitled “Bang! Bang! The Music of Cher,” April 8-9 at the David & Dorothea Garfield Theatre in La Jolla. Expect to hear Cher hits like “Believe,” “If I Could Turn Back Time” and “Strong Enough.” Mr. Holt promises a concert with dancers and visual imagery that is synonymous to Cher’s performances, and audiences will have the interactive experience of cheering, clapping and sing along. I’ll bet there will be a dozen Cher look-alikes and interpretations of Bob Mackie creations. Oh, gawd! I’m already exhausted. If you missed Cher’s last final concert, you won’t want to miss this one. For more information, visit www.gmcsd.com.

From divas to leather – what a segue. This year’s San Diego Leather Pride Week begins on Wednesday, March 15, and culminates with the selection of the Mr. San Diego Leather Contest taking place at Rich’s on Saturday, March 18. Various leather clubs and bars will be holding their own qualifying contests leading up to the big event, but there is a host of other Leather Pride events scheduled, such as the All Club Night on Wednesday, March 15, at Shooterz, the Knight of Leather contest on Thursday, March 16, at the Eagle, the Slave Auction at The Hole on Friday, March 17, and the Victory Brunch at Baja Betty’s on Sunday, March 19, at 10:00 a.m. Money raised this year will benefit Being Alive San Diego, the Tom of Finland Foundation and the Mr. San Diego Leather Travel Fund. Contest-only tickets will be available at the door for $20. Or get $40 VIP passes in advance through the Web site www.mrsandiegoleather.net.

A couple of weeks ago, I went with my friends Edith and Fifi to see Dame Edna’s “Back with a Vengeance” tour when it made a pit stop at the McCullum Theatre in Palm Desert. I have never seen Dame Edna in person before, and have heard about how she picks on her audiences and makes fun of them. Since our seats were in the gladiola garden section, I spent most of the night hiding in the dark and thinking of clever answers just in case she zeroed in on me. That didn’t happen, of course, and my fears were unwarranted. Dame Edna (Barry Humphries) is a big-boned man in a dress. There is nothing soft about her, and her garish outfits are over the edge of tackiness, perhaps by design. But she has a flawless hairdo and a basketful of wit. The show is very loosely structured depending on who she can pick on, and it includes a live on-stage telephone call to someone’s friend or relative from the audience. Her recent Broadway show received a special Tony award for live theatrical event. Next time she comes around, leave the fears behind and enjoy this live theatrical experience. And if you’re not lucky enough to get picked to be in the audience-participation part of the show, you should just count your blessings, bow lowly and hope that the Dame will throw you a gladiola at the end of her show.

The original circuit parties started in the 1980s at The Saint, a club at the old Fillmore East Theater in the lower east side of Manhattan. The Saint would do extreme theme parties, the most famous of which was the White Party; then came the Black Party. When The Saint closed down in 1986, the party continued at different locations in N.Y.C., and these two parties spawned many others all over the world. Well, the mother of them all, The Saint-At-Large Black Party – Rites XXVII: The Black Forest – is back at the Roseland Ballroom in New York City, starting at 11:00 p.m. on Saturday, March 25, and running through Sunday afternoon. Attendees dress black and heavy, and the party features “strange live acts.” I had the privilege of working backstage, where well-known porn stars perform these strange live acts, sometimes with snakes, fists, gigantic toys and other unmentionables. This is the largest conglomeration of hot men in leather dancing to the best DJs in the world. For more information and tickets, visit www.saintatlarge.com.